


It Could Have Been Different...

by AerynAshen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), M/M, Memory Loss, Not Canon Compliant, Scavenger Ben Solo, Sith Rey, Slow Burn, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-02-19 07:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 46,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22207084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AerynAshen/pseuds/AerynAshen
Summary: Spoiler Alert for TROS!Rey, having been brought up as a Sith under the guidance of her grandfather takes, her place in the First Order to begin her path to becoming Empress of the Galaxy. A path she has never wanted, but feels like she does not have a choice in the matter.On Jakku, a scavenger named Kylo does what he must to survive with the hope that his family will one day return to collect him from the desert. The only memory he has is of his uncle promising that they would one day be reunited.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 18
Kudos: 81





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Some housekeeping notes:
> 
> 1.) It’s been like a decade since I have written a fic, but oh boy do I feel the need to fix some shit in Star Wars right now! 
> 
> 2.) I hate that they made a Rey a Palpatine, but perhaps this fic will be a silver lining. I just keep thinking it would have worked better if they had switched Rey and Ben’s places (or planned it out better...). So we’re going to see if this works!
> 
> 3.) There might be some spoilers for the Knights of the Old Republic game in this (specifically, the light side path of a male lead). I highly recommend this game now that’s in on mobile devices (and free if you’re an amazon prime member). It’s great!
> 
> 4.) I really hated what they did with Finn, Poe, and Rose in the Last Jedi, so those subplots are being totally gotten rid of when I get to them. They’re going to be doing something that doesn’t end in a pointless mutiny and a pointless trip to a casino. And some StormPilot. And Rose is going to get to be more! A waste of good acting was what those subplots were. Not here, my friends!

Prologue 

Rey did not understand why her parents had left her. Her mother had told her to be brave and her father said it was to keep her safe. They had only been gone a few minutes when a strange orange man came up and said he could take her back to her parents. In fact, he wanted to very much and said he would pay double what Plutt had paid for her. 

Rey did not understand why her mother had sobbed when the man called Ochi brought her onboard the ship. Shouldn’t her mother be happy to have her back? She was happy to be back. Her mother had wrapped her in a tight hug though. Her father was yelling at Ochi now. 

“She’s only a child!”

“Your father wishes to meet his granddaughter.”

“Last I heard, I was no son of his, so she is not his granddaughter! He has no right to demand to see her!”

Ochi drew a knife, but that did not stop Rey’s father from trying to push passed him. He was determined to keep his little girl from harm, but did not think of harm coming to himself. The knife had been so sharp he did not truely feel it until Ochi had given it a sharp twist. The last thing heard while he laid crumpled on the floor was his wife and daughter screaming for him. 

Rey’s mother pushed the girl behind her as she watched helpless as her husband bleed out. She knew that Palpatine would want Rey alive, but was unsure if that was a blessing or not. Their plan to hide their darling girl had failed miserably... 

Ochi pointed the knife at the woman now. “You can keep quiet or meet your fate now.” 

Fresh tears had started to fall as she looked down at her husband, but she stayed silent. She kneeled down and pulled Rey back into her arms. Her daughter sobbed into her chest as she held her. 

The flight to Exegol was a blur for Rey. She cried herself to sleep in her mother’s arms, only to be awoken some time later to the sound of lightening crackling around them. They were no longer on the ship, but in a strange place of darkness. Rey knew what darkness felt like. This was different. She had never felt the darkness stare at her before. She clung tighter to her mother as they were lead into a fearsome craven. 

The deeper they went into the craven the more terrified Rey became; like a scream building in the back of her throat that had not made it to her lips yet. “This is a bad place, Mommy. I want to go home...” she whispered as they were lead past the massive stone statues of hooded figures. The lightening that was still flashing making their half hidden faces seem more menacing.

“I know, darling.” She couldn’t tell her girl that she did not think they would ever be leaving this place. 

Ochi was looking all around as they entered a sinister laboratory where deformed clones in various stages of development were floating in tanks. At random he seemed to stop having found what he was looking for. He knelt down on the ground. “Emperor, I have brought the girl.” 

A flash of lightening reviled a man that looked more dead than alive. His white eyes looking at them and through at the same time. “Good, good.” A smile had never looked so out of place on someone’s face. Fortunately, it faded quickly. “Kill the woman. I have no need of her.”

Rey screamed. 

——————————

Luke did not understand how he had missed this. It was so important. So glaringly obvious now as he looked down at his unconscious nephew. He had known that Ben was a focal point of balance in the force when he had agreed to train him. From time to time over the last two years when Ben has showed signs of darkness, he had been unconcerned. It was expected. Manageable. 

Perhaps that hubris of the great Luke Skywalker is what had allowed this to happen. He should have been paying closer attention to Ben. Then again, that was the story of Ben’s life since he became a toddler. Someone should have paid closer attention to him. Leia was off putting the galaxy back into order. Han was off making sure there was still chaos. And Luke? He had been traveling and rediscovering the past of the Jedi that the Empire had hidden. The wilds of space and politics were no places for a child to be, so Ben was mostly left alone with droids. Well cared for, but lacking his family’s time and attention. A small child left defenseless to great Force threats and one with that mighty Skywalker blood coursing through his veins. Someone was bound to notice. 

Not Luke, he shamed himself again. Certainly not Han. Not even Leia despite her own Force-sensitivity and actually being with Ben the most. The had all failed him, but none so much as Luke. 

Something dark was preying on Ben. Nestled up in his mind like a mynock. A particularly bad flare of dark energy during Ben’s mediation training today had made Luke knock him unconscious with the Force. When he looked closer to see the cause of this reaction he was shocked to find that Ben was not the only presence in his own mind. 

“Luke.” He turned scared that one of the other padawan’s had come looking for him. He almost wished it was when he found the ghostly form of Obi-wan Kenobi standing there. “I see you have found the trouble.”

“Yes.” Luke looked back down at Ben. “We named him after you, you know. Leia wanted to call him Obi-wan since that’s what she knew you by, but Han and I said no. No child deserved to be called Obi-wan Organa-Solo.” He chuckled a little despite himself. “So it had to be Ben.”

Obi-wan nodded. “Ben Solo has a much nicer ring to it.” He cleared his throat. “While I’m honored to be his namesake, that is not why I have come.” 

“I know... I don’t know how to fix this, Ben...” Luke looked back at the older man feeling just as lost as the time he had found him in the desert alone after a fight with his uncle.

“He needs to be hidden somewhere that no one will look for him. The way I once did with you.”

“Leia and Han will never agree to that. And what am I suppose to do? I can’t just tell Ben, sorry I missed this now we have to go into hiding.”

“No, Luke. Just young Ben.” Luke stared up at Obi-wan, so he continued. “You can not protect him from this threat, but you make this threat believe he is beyond reach. Make this Sith believe that Ben is dead.”

“How would I even begin to do that? He has a massive Force presence. He doesn’t know how to cloak it. I’m not sure I can.” Luke wasn’t sure what old Ben thought he could do to help his nephew.

“I will show you how to seal his mind. Make him unable to access much of his Force talents. He will not be able to use the Force anymore than his father does.”

“Sealing that much of his mind, he probably won’t even remember who he is. That’s insane!” It was like a swift punch to the gut as Luke realized that was exactly what Obi-wan intended to happen. “I can’t do this to him... I can’t do this to Han and Leia. It will be like he died...”

“Yes. For his safety. He will one day be reunited with his family. The nightmares you have been having are correct, Luke...”

“My nightmares...?” Luke had been trying to push those fears out of his mind since they started a few months ago. “About the temple burning...? I thought that was just my fear of failure.”

“No, I’m sorry, but that is close at hand.”

“I seem to be failing wherever I turn today.” He ran his hand over his face.

“This will not be the end. A new generation of Jedi will rise, but it is not yet time.” 

Luke reached out to little Ben and smoothed his shaggy hair out of his face. Was Obi-wan’s plan really the only way to keep Ben safe? Leia would hate him. Han too. What about Ben himself? He was clever and strong, but where could he hide him that was far enough off everyone’s radar? He would have to come up with the best possible place for him.

“Alright, Obi-wan... show me what I must do.”


	2. Chapter One - On the Road the Hell there was a lot of Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little back story and the start of the Force Awakens. This one is a little Rey heavy, but I had more set up for her.

** Chapter 1 - On the Road to Hell there was a lot of Waiting **

She had learned to make friends with the darkness. It was her constant companion. Even when she was able to sneak up to the surface, the darkness was there too. The light was dangerous. Lightening was the main source after all. When she got lucky though, she was able to see stars too. The stars gave her hope that the rest of Galaxy still existed and one day she could leave here. She longed to be out among those stars and far, far away. Away from her grandfather; her master. 

Her master’s cruelty seemed to know no bounds. He had her mother killed in front of her and under his orders her father had been killed in a similar fashion. Her Sith training was always pushing her to her limits. It offend only stopped when she was unable to continue for the day be it from exhaustion or injury. 

He refused to call her Rey. “A pathetic name. Like your parents. You are strong and will be one of the most powerful Siths the Galaxy has ever seen. A power worthy of my successor! Therefore, your name shall be Kyra.”

She had tried to be stubborn and refused to answer to his made up name for her. She was Rey. That was what her parents had called and just another thing he wanted to take away from her. Stubbornness had ended in pain. It did not take long for her to decide that he could call her what he wished, but she would keep the name Rey to herself. Keep it in her mind and heart and never forget.

Sometimes there were voices in the darkness. Voices that no one else could hear. They called her Rey. They told her that she was not as alone as she felt. That one day she would find another that completed her and she would never feel lonely again. She liked the voices. They quickly became her only comfort and made her fear the darkness less. After all, these voices were friendly, so perhaps the darkness could be too. Sometimes it was a man that spoke like her father or a woman that did, but they were not her parents’ voices. Rarely, it was a funny one that had a mixed up way of speaking. 

When her combat training surpassed what her master’s faithful could keep up with the Knights of Ren arrived to continue it. The Knights were lawless and kept only to their code to consume anything the Dark Side of the Force gave them. Their leader, Ren, had agreed to assist with Kyra’s training only because of her prowess for the Dark Side. Believing that she might one day join their ranks. 

Their masks had scared her at first, but she had long sense learned to hide her fear. She did not like the idea of wearing a mask like theirs. She soon considered it might be better to have an actual mask than to have to continually mask what she was truly feeling. The Knights of Ren also fought with strange weapons. Until their arrival she had only used her lightsaber against training droids and fought hand to hand with the Eternal followers of her master. This was a new type of fighting and required new skills to be learned. 

The Knights were Force-sensitive, but nothing like what Kyra could do. They would use it to block and parry her blows. Perhaps add some extra strength to a hit of their own. One day when she did not wish to fight because she was still hurting from them ganging up on her the day before, she simply sat down with her saber on the ground in front of her and waited. As they attempted to attack her, planning to teach her that just because she was unarmed did not mean that they would stop, she used the Force to throw them back or into the air or pinned them to the ground. Kyra thought this would annoy them, but it left them in awe of her strength in the Force. 

When her master had been pleased with their report on her training that evening, she wished she had let them beat her again. 

—————————

Jakku was an unforgiving planet. Kylo was a survivor though. He had learned to make this wasteland of a planet work for him. Be it stripping anything useable off a crashed Star Destroyer or repairing droids and sometimes speeders or ships when the work came to him. He had made somewhat of a name for himself in that regard. 

Plutt had set him to scavenging when he was still little. The contract his uncle had sold him to had him laboring for Plutt for 10 years. After that he was a free agent to haggle and trade as he could for food portions. 

“You’re not worth what it costs to feed you boy!” Plutt had raged when a teenage Kylo had finished off two whole portions and was asking for more. 

The next day Kylo had returned from a crash site with an R-series astromech droid along with the rest of his parts for the day. Plutt had taken a sling at the side of his head when saw the droid and swore up and down that he was wasting his time. Droids were only good for mods that could be removed from them since they were always too busted up from the crashes to get functioning again. The one that Kylo had hauled all the way here was a standard unit with no mods. Worthless like him. He would never get it working again. 

“It’s my time to waste when the sun sets!” Kylo snapped at him. Plutt had grunted and grumbled, but let him go with the R unit that night. The rest of the parts he had brought back were actually decent and enough to count for his portion today, but not a crumb extra since he could have gotten more if he had left that broken droid behind. 

It only took Kylo two weeks of working at night to get the little droid functioning again. It had mainly needed rewiring. Functional wiring could be salvaged off any crash site since it wasn’t worth anything to the scrappers. Some hammering to get the dents out of the body and it was ready to go. Kylo had been smug when he saw the look on Plutt’s ugly face when he had causally walked into the trading post with the droid following behind him. Bringing a busted droid back had earned him a slap, but this had earned him extra portions for the next month and some side work from the locals that could actually afford to have droids. After all, Kylo would charge them far less than a shop would if it’s something he could fix without needing parts.

With reputation for having good parts and sometimes even droids to steal, Kylo had learned to defend himself and his keep. He had fashioned a staff off of an antenna from a Destroyer. By the time he was grown though, his intimidating stature had made him less of a target. He stood nearly a head taller than most of the people around. It had made Plutt less likely to bully him and once his contact was complete, less likely to cheat him out of his portions as well. 

Yes, Kylo was a survivor, but he longed for more than just making enough food to feed himself or a spare credit here or there to repair his gear and clothe himself. He had counted the days for too long for his uncle to return and make good on that promise of them being reunited. He had so many questions about a past he couldn’t remember. Foremost being why the hell couldn’t he remember before being left here?! If his uncle had left him here, did he have parents? Or were they dead? Why couldn’t he have gone with his uncle? Safe. He remembered the word safe. Jakku wasn’t safe though! Safe from what?! Questions like that he wanted to scream and made him angry. To the point that he wasn’t sure if his uncle arrived back tomorrow if he would embrace him with a hug or swift punch to the face. 

—————————

Rey looked down at the freshly forged black helmet once she was back in her quarters. She had been made a full member of the Knights of Ren, but had been told the helmet would assist her more than showing her affiliation with the Knights. It would help her intimidate the First Order officers she was being sent to join. She had been told over and over again by the Knights and Palpatine that her short stature, beauty, and just all around being a female would undermine her ability gain respect. That she would have to command it of others. She was unconcerned. One of the first things that Palpatine had made her learn was how to use the Force to make an air of fear around herself. She could intimidate a room full of people with ease. 

Rey supposed the mask would have its uses though. She wouldn’t have to keep up with her facial expression while wearing it. It many ways, it would be Kyra’s face. Lady Kyra Ren. No matter how many times she repeated it to herself the name still felt wrong. It was not hers, but she would use it. Like the helmet, it would have its uses. 

_ A strong Sith knows to use all the tools at their disposal. Not just their lightsaber. You must be versatile.  _ Her masters old lesson coming back to her again. 

“Rey.” She nearly dropped the helmet at the sound of one of the voices of an old Jedi. It had been a few weeks since she had heard one. When she was a child it was almost like they were her nighttime masters. Whispering stories of how the Jedi once were from ancient times until her grandfather had issued Order 66 and taken over the Galaxy. The history of the universe through the eyes of the Jedi had been her bedtime stories, while during her day training she learned the Sith version. She wasn’t sure who she believed more at this point. “It’s nearly time for your journey to begin.”

“Yes, yes, I know. I leave tomorrow.” She didn’t want to be excited about being sent to help the First Order. To, as her master put it, start her assent to the throne of the Galaxy! That was not the part she was looking forward to. She would be leaving Exegol! Leaving this place of darkness and not just to go to Korriban on a pilgrimage with the Knights of Ren as she had before. This time she was finally being let out on her own. 

“Hmmm... eager, you are.” Another voice chimed in.

“You would be too if you were me.” She wished she knew their names, but even when she asked they had refused to tell her.

“She should be.” That was one of her favorite voices. A woman that had a planetary accent like hers. It reminded her of her mother. “This is what it has all been leading to. You’ll find your other half soon, Rey.”

“So you say.” She wasn’t sure she believed that. They had been telling her she had another half since she was a child. How can someone be half a person? She felt their presence fade. Just a few words after weeks of silence. It was of no matter; she needed to rest since she would be leaving in the morning. 

Rey was immediately thankful for her mask when she exited her ship in the  Supremacy’s  hanger. General Hux and Captain Phasma were waiting to receive her as she was informed they would, but she was not prepared for what looked like all of the officers and troopers that were stationed on the Destroyer. She lifted her chin, squared her shoulders, and stroud confidently over to the waiting commanders. Her cape flowed out as she walked. 

Hux’s brows knit together ever so slightly at the sight of the Supreme Leader’s apprentice and newly named enforcer. He had been told it was a woman, but he was expecting someone more akin to Phasma. Someone who you could look at and see that they were in charge. This slight woman doesn’t look like she could enforce anything and yet... as she drew closer, he felt a chill run up his spine that she might actually be more dangerous than she seems.

“Welcome aboard the  _Supremacy_ ,  Lady Ren. The Supreme Leader is awaiting you in his throne room.” Hux gave a curt nod in greeting.

“Lead the way, General.” Rey was pleased with his confused look at hearing her voice through the speaker. Let him underestimate her, it could be fun.

Part of her training had included memorizing the maps of current use Star Destroyers and other ships in the fleet. That way she would not waste time getting acquainted with the ship. She let Hux lead despite knowing the way. She was in no particular hurry to see her master’s puppet. Her instructions had been to follow its orders as she would Palpatine until such a time came that Snoke’s usefulness had run its course. At that time, she would then be expected to kill him and take her place as Supreme Leader. 

When they entered the throne room the three of them bowed to the seated Supreme Leader. Snoke smiled as best he could with one cheek being scared or fatigued. Rey was uncertain what had went wrong with this clone’s forming, but she knew there must have been a reason this one was selected to fulfill the role. It was clear he had the loyalty of both Hux and Phasma though. 

“Welcome, my apprentice. I trust that you are ready to begin the next stage of your training?”

“Yes, master. What task would you have me do?”

“Go to the Unknown Regions and wipe out what remains of the old Imperialist. Secure their gathered resources for our own use. End all talk of the old Empire returning. The First Order shall be the absolute rulers of the Galaxy!” Rey bowed in acknowledgement of her task. “General Hux’s ship and Captain Phasma’s troops are at your disposal. I’m sure with your combined might you will short work of this task.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” Hux said firmly. Although, he did not like his command being so easily handed over to this woman who had been training in the shadows without assisting the Order until now. He would be keeping a close watch on her to make sure she was actually worthy of this level of trust from the Supreme Leader.

Over the following months, Rey made a name for Kyra as being ruthless and demanding as they cut their way through the colonized planets of the Unknown Region. She had formed a contentious relationship with Hux. They were stuck together at Snoke’s orders, but they held little respect for each other. Hux believed Kyra to be something like a wild dog that answered only to Snoke himself and therefore operated outside of the First Order’s military hierarchy, but with nearly unlimited access to all the resources and commands warranted to a top ranking officer. Even more control than he had on his own ship! Rey found Hux to be a sniveling coward that did not dirty his hands in battle. He would let others do the difficult and dangerous task of combat while standing safely on the bridge of his Destroyer well out of harms way.

Despite their contempt for each other, the conquest of the Unknown Regions went well. New resources and troops had been acquired as planned. Snoke was pleased when they returned triumphantly. Although, there was little praise to go around because he had a new task for the three of them. Rumors had reached their spies that the Resistance was looking for Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. The very one that had toppled the Empire. 

“We cannot allow the return of the Jedi. Find this map they are searching for before it reaches General Organa. We will find this Jedi and end him once and for all.”

It took longer than Rey wanted to get a lead on anyone with information about this map to Skywalker, but they finally received some intel about who might be in possession of the map.Lor San Tekka, man well versed in Jedi Lore who was known to have aided Skywalker during his search to bring back the lost knowledge of the Jedi after the fall of the Empire. Rey tracked Tekka to a desert planet in the Western Reaches of space called Jakku. A dumpy planet with its one claim to fame being the battle of Jakku where the last of the Empire’s forces were defeated. 

By the time that Tekka had been located, the old man had given the map away to a Resistance pilot. As luck would have it though, the pilot was still close and foolish enough to fix a blaster at Kyra. She stopped the energy bolt midair and had the troopers bring him over to her. She stared down at him after the troops pushed him to his knees. 

“Aren’t you a little short to be a commander?” Poe used his first and last defense: his smart mouth.

“Where’s the map to Skywalker?” She would not let him get her blood boiling. Especially with such an uncreative insult. 

“Search me?” Poe gave a little shrug and cocky smile. 

“He doesn’t have the map, ma’am.” One of the troopers helpfully stated. 

She tiled her head and looked down at him for a moment. “Take him to my ship. He seems to like talking. Perhaps we can make him say something of use.”

——————————

Kylo leaned back against the foot of the wrecked AT-AT that he had made his home at the end of a long day of savaging. He was a little annoyed that Plutt had only giving him three-quarters of a portion for what he brought in today, but it filled his stomach enough. Honestly, the junk probably would have only fetched a half portion if anyone else had brought it in. Maybe tomorrow he would hang around the outpost earlier in the afternoon and see if anyone needed repairs done. 

He scrambled to his feet when he heard a droid screaming nearby. He grabbed his staff and run in the direction of the commotion. He should have guessed it was Teedo at this time of the evening. At l east the little guy would be easy to  _ persuade _ to leave the little BB unit alone.

“Hey, leave the droid alone!” He called out in the language he knew Teedo spoke. 

“Mine your own business!” Teedo spat back.

The droid frantically beeped for Kylo _‘_ _ Please help me! I need to get to my master! He’s kidnapping me!!!!’ _

Kylo pulled the knife from his boot and came over to Teedo, even on his mount the much smaller alien was only eye to eye with him. “I said to leave that droid alone. He’s not yours.”

Teedo looked at the knife and decided that it was safer to leave. He grumbled that the droid probably wasn’t worth much. Not worth the trouble anyways. 

Kylo kneeled down and cut the little droid free of the net and fixed his antenna. “So, little guy, where are you from?”

_‘It’s classified_.’  He beeped 

“Oh, me too! Big secret.” Kylo grinned. He had always liked droids they we programmed to be kinder usually. He wishes he could program people to be kinder. “Well, it’s dangerous to be out on the dunes at night. No telling who else or what else might grab you. I’m heading to the outpost tomorrow. You can stay with me and look for your master there.”

_ ‘Really?! Thank you! ’ _

Kylo stood and headed back toward his house. “You’re welcome. Come on now, keep up.” At least he’s wouldn’t be alone tonight.

The next morning, he took the little droid called BB-8 with him to scavenge a site not too far out. He promised that they would be to the outpost by midday so they could search for his master. Kylo was pleasantly surprised when he came upon a tower that hadn’t been completely stripped yet. The couplings he was able to get were going for half a portion each last week! With five of them that more than made up for his bad run yesterday and only doing a few hours this morning. He loaded his salvage and BB-8 up on the speeder and headed for Niima. 

_‘I hope he’s here... he might have left the planet without me...’_ BB-8 worried when they arrived. 

“Hey, don’t think like that. He might be around or he might just have not arrived here yet. You said you were coming from a village that’s pretty far off. I know all about waiting being horrible.”

_ ‘Who are you waiting on?’ _

“My uncle. Hopefully, he’ll be back one day, but it’s been years... Come on. I need to trade my parts in.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and carried his staff.

“Ah, Kylo! Brought in another droid I see!” Plutt was excited to see what looked like the BB unit the First Order had a bounty on. Kylo certainly didn’t find a BB unit on a crash site. He started pulling out a pile of portions.

“This droid isn’t for sell.” Kylo said firmly. Something was wrong. Plutt should know that BB units are too new of a model to be found while scavenging... “I’ve got some parts to trade though.” He pulled them out of his bag for Plutt to inspect, but he could already feel the price dropping on them at his refusal to sell the droid.

Plutt frowned at the parts. “These five are only worth a half portion.” He tossed the pack down on the counter. 

Kylo frowned. That was robbery! He could feel his temper rising, but something was wrong and it had to do with BB-8. The little droid would be defenseless without him. Kylo took a deep breath and then grabbed the half portion. “Always a pleasure, Plutt.” He turned to go with BB-8 close behind. He was going to have to keep his guard up. This wasn’t over...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!! And thanks for the nice comments. Good to know I’m not the only one that wants a little fixing with Star Wars right now. Hope you all enjoyed.


	3. Chapter Two - Escape the Mundane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of things to escape for Ben. And something Rey feels like she can’t escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to gloss over some of the things that happened in TFA. If the events are happening the exact same or I feel like they’re not going to change the story, I’m not typing them out. So that means, skipping over Poe’s torture, Finn and Poe escaping, and any scene that our main cast isn’t a part of. So lines I just love though and couldn’t cut them or I had to have them in because the scene just didn’t make sense without them. You’ll see what mean!

Chapter 2 - Escape the Mundane 

Kylo hated to be right sometimes, but he certainly wasn’t surprised. It had only taken an hour of them walking around the outpost searching for Poe for a group of four to try and take BB-8 from him. He made short work of their attempt and was checking on the little droid. 

_ ‘ Thief! Thief! Thief!’  _ BB-8 screamed like a warning siren. 

“I know, I know. It’s okay.” Kylo said gently, trying to calm him down.

_ ‘ Not those thieves! That one! That man stole my master’s jacket!’ _

“Wait... him??” He looked up to see a dark skinned human man looking at the two of them. “Hey, you!” He pointed his staff at him.

Finn wasn’t sure what to do. That was clearly the BB unit that Poe had been going on about, but the massive guy that had just taken on whole gang of guys at once was definitely not Poe. Now said massive man was stalking toward him not looking at all friendly. “Whoa, whoa! I don’t want any trouble!” He started stumbling backwards and tripped over a tent pole.

“That jacket, where did you get it?” Kylo demanded. Well, at least he didn’t run even if he did fall over. 

BB-8 rolled up and knocked into Finn’s side. He pulled out his spark fuser and shocked him once for good measure. ‘ _ That jacket is Poe’s! Don’t even think about lying!’ _

If Kylo hadn’t been trying to look aggressive right now he would have laughed at BB-8’s threats. It was clear this man didn’t speak droid though. 

“Hey! Look, look, I’m sorry. His name was Poe, right? Poe Dameron? Can we talk somewhere that’s not so open?” 

BB-8 chirped in response that Finn was going to guess meant yes. The big guy helped him back to his feet and lead the way to a place that wasn’t crowded. 

“So,” Kylo said folding his arms. “Where’s this Poe guy?”

Finn sighs and looked down at BB-8 sadly. “I helped Poe escape the First Order, but our ship was shot down. I’m sorry, but he didn’t make it...” 

BB-8 dropped his head lower. ‘ _Poe... Poe is dead...? What am I going to do now? I have to get back to the Resistance. I have to complete our mission!_ ’

“Resistance? You’re with the Resistance?” Kylo asked looking down at BB-8. 

_‘ _ _Yes. Poe was the best pilot they had. We were a good team. I can’t fail him. I have to get back_.’ BB-8 beeped sorrowfully. 

“I’m sure this guy can take you back to the Resistance. Isn’t that right?” Kylo looked back up at the man, but he was focused on something else. Oh, shit... stormtroopers headed this way. Stormtroopers headed this way and they were after BB-8 and this Resistance fighter that he was standing right with. “We have to get the two of you off this planet. Follow me!” He quickly started darting from tent to tent trying to avoid being seen. 

Finn tried to keep up with tall guy, but damn he was fast! Too quickly the troops spotted him and opened fire. It only made matters worse that they also had a few TIE fighters with them to cause some real chaos as tents started to blow up around them and all the people in the outpost ran scared. Finn realized that he was being lead to the ship yard. “We can’t out run them! And I can’t fly!”

Kylo glanced behind him. “You can’t fly?! I guess I’m going with the two of you then.” He will just have to get back as quickly as he can. He’s probably going to have to start trading at a different outpost though. He doesn’t think he will be welcomed back to Niima any time soon.

They had to make a quick course correction as the ship Kylo had wanted got blown up. “Head for that Corellian freighter!”

Finn was glad for something closer, but that ship looked like it hadn’t been off the ground in years... “Will that thing even get in the air?!”

“Yes! It’ll fly!” Kylo yelled defensively. He had been fond of this ship since Plutt had acquired it. Even fought him hard while making repairs on it to not add some ridiculous mods. Even after Kylo refused to install them, Plutt found someone else willing. There was just something about this ship.

They raced up the ramp of the old ship and Kylo headed for the cockpit. “Gunner position is down below! Hope you can shoot.” He called to Finn as he started the take off procedures. 

It was an intense fight to get off the planet’s surface, but between Kylo’s piloting abilities and knowledge of the scrap fields and Finn honestly good shooting once he got the hang of it, they escaped into open space. Kylo leaned back in the pilot’s chair and sighed in relief before he broke out into a smirk. That had been strangely fun. It had certainly been exciting! He got up when he heard the guy climbing out of the Gunner nest. 

“That was amazing! You’re an awesome pilot!” Finn was still running on adrenaline from the fight.

“Hey, you’re one hell of a shot too!” Kylo always pleased to have his skills praised. “You get this excited after every shoot out?” He chuckled because his guy was really pumped up for a Resistance fighter. “What’s your name?”

“No, just during crazy escapes.” Finn chuckled too. Which given he had had two in have span of one cycle, he felt that was accurate. “Oh, right! It’s Finn. What about you?”

“Kylo.” The celebrating was cut short though as a gas leak started in one of the under panels. “Hurry, help me with this. Poor ship hasn’t been put through it’s paces in a while. Something was bound to break.” 

Finn helped Kylo move the grate and started passing him tools as he needed them. “Guess you’ve done stuff like this before?” 

“Yeah. Mostly droids, but ships when I can. Look, if I’m going to get you and BB-8 back to your base, I’m gonna need to know where I’m flying to. Give me the yellow bonding tape.” 

Finn scrambled around trying to find the bonding tape while trying to get BB-8 to tell him the location of the base. 

“Any time now before we die from the poisonous gas.” Kylo said dryly as he looked up from his work. Finn finally tossed it to him. He dunked back down to finish on the motivator. With the leak finally patched he hopped out of the access panel. “Well? Where are we headed?”

“Tell him, BB-8.”

‘ _ Th e IIleenium _ _system_.’  BB-8 finally told Kylo. He knew Finn didn’t speak droid after all. He felt more secure with Kylo knowing.

“Alright. Let’s get going.” He nodded and Finn came over to help him return the grate to its place. “So... you haven’t been with the Resistance long have you?”

“Oh... no. No... actually, I guess I just joined when I helped Poe escape.” Finn looked down not sure what his new friend (they were friends right?) would think of this. “I was actually one of the troops on the base...”

“You were a stormtrooper?” 

“Yeah, but not by my choice though.” He hastily clarified. “They took us when we were just kids. I didn’t want to fight for them. And I promised myself that I wasn’t going to kill for them.” 

“It’s alright. I mean, I’m just a scavenger after all. Not like I’m on anyone’s side.” Kylo reassured him.“So you would rather fight for the Resistance?”

Finn was relieved that he wasn’t being judged for this. It actually felt like a weight had been lifted. “I’m not sure... part of me wants to just find some place to hide and avoid the First Order forever.”

“Let’s make a deal. You help me get BB-8 back to the Resistance and then I’ll drop you on whatever planet you want before I head back to Jakku.”

“Why does everyone want to go back to Jakku?!”

“I have people there.” Kylo lied without thinking about it and then decided to double back. Finn had been honest with him after all. “Actually, I don’t have them there exactly. I’m waiting for my uncle to return for me.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, at any rate, you got a deal.” The men shook hands. “The Resistance does really need him back. He has a map to Luke Skywalker.”

“I thought he was just a myth?” 

Finn shrugged. “I guess not.” 

Kylo shrugged as well. “IIleenium system, here we come.” As if the ship wasn’t quite done with the excitement yet, the lights on board shifted to warning mode as a new problem surfaced. 

———————

Rey was waiting impatiently at an coordinate terminal just off the bridge. She was almost hoping that the stormtroopers failed again. Hux was so proud of Phasma’s training program it would be nice to see them both fail so spectacularly at once. A traitor trooper and loosing a prisoner all in one day thanks to their soldiers were already an excellent blow to Hux’s ego, but adding that they couldn’t retrieve a little BB unit would just drive it home. 

“Lady Ren...” 

She turned to glance at the nervous officer that had been sent to give her an update. She probably should enjoy making them nervous more. After all, it proved that this was working that she could be presented as a proper Sith. Fear works better than respect in some circumstances. Hadn’t that been what her grandfather taught her first hand?

“The droid eluded capture. It escaped on a Corellian YT model freighter...” The officer continued. 

“How?” 

“It’s unconfirmed, but there are reports that FN-2187 assisted in the escape... we believe he might be headed to the Resistance. And...” He took a deep breath and seriously considered if it was in his best interested to continue. “There was a boy with them.”

Rey was secretly pleased this was going to look horrible on Hux, but she had appearances to keep up. There was something bothering her though. When he had mentioned the boy that had helped in the escape, she had felt a ripple through the Force. Not like anything she had ever felt before. She used the Force to drag the man closer to her, pulling him down to her sight line and holding his stationary. 

“What boy?” She demanded softly. 

“Really more of a young man! He was a local by accounts! A scavenger!” This is why no one wants to give her bad news! He fought uselessly against the strange power holding him. 

Rey tossed him back to where he had been standing before and watched as he scrambled to his feet and ran away. A scavenger? From Jakku of all places. Why was he creating ripples in the Force? She had a sinking feeling that their paths would be crossing. 

———————

Kylo tried to get the ship started up again to program the coordinates, but it was locked up. “Something is wrong... the controls are over ridden.” 

A red light started to pass over them and Finn strained to get a better look by climbing on the control console. 

“Hey, get off!” Kylo said annoyed that Finn was climbing on the controls and trying to use his head as a support to do so! 

“It’s the First Order...” Not carrying about Kylo’s complaining. There were more important things like not getting executed! He stepped back on the co-pilot’s chair. “You said poisonous gas! Can you you break it again?”

“Will that work against Stormtroopers?”

“Yes!” Finn already heading back toward the access grate. “The helmets don’t filter out toxins.”

Kylo followed grabbing them breathing masking on the way. “That seems like a design flaw.” 

“No, it’s costs based. It’s rare that they’re going to encounter airborne toxins, so it’s cheaper to not make all the helmets protect against them.” Finn helped Kylo move the grate and then hopped in. “Come on, BB-8.” He was stocked when the little droid was a lot heavier than he looked. He fell over and had to fight to make enough room for Kylo. Why did he have to make a tall friend?? It makes hiding harder. 

Kylo pulled the grate over them and wished that access panels were bigger. They just barely fit. It was difficult to get at what he needed to with being at a lower angle than before and not being able to move back because of BB-8 and Finn. Why had he fixed this so well? Oh, right. To keep them from dying. 

Finn was trying not to freak out as he heard the door being forcibly opened from the outside. He wishedthat Kylo would hurry. They were not going to stand any chance against a boarding crew of troops. He was breathing harder as he heard the heavy footfalls of troops heading toward their grate. 

Chewie easily pick up the grate and roared at the people hiding their. Han had his blaster trained on them. Two young guys and droid. “Where are the others? Where’s the pilot?”

“I’m the pilot.” Kylo said firmly as he stood up. He wasn’t going to stay cramped up when he didn’t have to. 

“ _**You’re trying to tell us that you two are the whole crew?**_ ” Chewie didn’t buy it. These two look like they couldn’t even pilot a speeder together. 

“Yeah, that’s right. It’s just us.” Kylo said defensively. He’s not exactly sure how he could understand Wookiee, but it seems like he did.

“You can understand that thing?!” Finn looked at Kylo shocked.

“Yes, and  that thing  can understand you too, so watch it. Now get out of there.” Han motioned for them to move with his blaster. “Just where did you get this ship?”

“Niima Outpost from Unkar Plutt’s ship field.” Kylo supplied. 

“Jakku? That junkyard?”

“Junkyard, see! Thank you.” Finn gave Kylo a pointed look. 

“I told you we should have checked the Western Reaches again!” Han shook his head as he turned to go check on his ship again. “Plutt, that crook! Well, you can tell him Han Solo’s got it back now!” 

“Wait, is this the _Millennium Falcon_?!” Kylo was suddenly far more interested in this ship than he had been. 

“Han Solo...? The Rebellion General?” Finn asked the Wookie.

“Nah, he was a smuggler.” Kylo shrugged. That’s the stories he always heard. Crazy stories about Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon were always bouncing around the Outpost. What daring escape he’d made or who he had cheated out of money. Gotten away clean because of the fastest hunk of junk in all the Galaxy. They had always been Kylo’s favorite gossip. Wouldn’t that be a life? Always seeing new places and having adventures. At any rate, it’s was better than scavenging parts in a desert for you next meal.

“Wasn’t he a war hero?” Finn asked

“ _ **Oh, I don’t know. I wouldn’t call him a hero**_.”  Chewie shrugged.

“This is the ship that made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs?” Kylo called after Han.

“You’re damn right it did!” Han yelled back from the cockpit. It really was a homecoming now. He tenderly touched the controls and was at peace until he started looking more closely. What the hell had they done to his ship?! He marched back out into the main crew area. “Hey, some moofmilker installed a compressure on the fuel line!”

“Plutt did. Even after I told him it was a stupid idea!” Kylo was annoyed just remembering it. 

“It puts too much pressure on the hyperdrive.” Kylo and Han said together. 

Han did a double take of the taller guy. Damn if he didn’t look like what he thought Ben would at this age... he shook his head. That was a painful thought he hadn’t had in a while. Ben was long gone. He thought he had squared with that. “Chewie, toss them in a pad. We’ll drop them at the nearest inhabited planet.”

“Hang on! We need your help. We have to get this droid back to the Resistance.” Kylo followed after Han, with Finn on his heels.

“He’s carrying a map to Luke Skywalker.” Finn added so that maybe Han would understand how important this was. “You are the Han Solo that fought with the Rebellion. You knew him.”

Han stopped in his tracks. “Yeah, I knew him.” He was still bitter about that. It was Luke’s fault that Ben was gone. Might as well be punch Han day. Get the Falcon back, but a kid that looks like Ben is on it looking to go on some hair-brainedmission to get Luke. He was too old for this! A loud clashed sounded from above them. Han should have known better than to tempt fate with thoughts like that! “Oh, don’t tell me a rathtarhas gotten loose!”

Things quickly escalated, which Kylo thought must be the theme of his life at the moment. How long had he waited on Jakku and nothing happened day in and day out for years? Now he rescued a droid from Teedo, helped a former stormtrooper steal a ship, escaped by having a dog fight through the crash sites, nearly died from a motivator leak, met a infamous smuggler who’s the former own of the ship he stole, and now they were making another daring escape from two gangs and a ship over ran by Rathtars. Which he might have accidentally set loose in the first place... he felt like more had happened to him in the past two days than in the rest of his life combined! It was insane and dangerous and... fun. 

Kylo followed Han into the cockpit and promptly took the co-pilot’s seat. He started the stupid fuel pump to get it primed and started the basic take off protocols. Han took the pilot’s seat and frown at the kid. “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“Plutt installed a fuel pump against better advise too. Besides, your co-pilot is down, you’re going to need a stand in for this flight.” 

“Hey, watch the thrust, we’re going out of here at light speed.” Han said correcting a lever he had pulled.

“Is that even possible?” Kylo felt like Han was going to get them killed...

“I never ask that until I’ve done it.”

This is how all those crazy stories Kylo heard have happened... he jumped when a Rathtar latched onto the flight deck window. 

Han snook his head. “This was not how I thought this day was going to go... angle the shields.”

“That makes two of us.” Kylo mumbled as he did as he was told. 

“Come on, baby. Don’t let me down.” Han was immediately let down when the _Falcon_ didn’t move an inch. Kylo reached over and hit the compressor release and suddenly the ship pushed through the Rathtar and into light speed.

Kylo was shocked when this crazy scheme actually worked. They got out of the hanger and into space. Of course, an alarm started blaring the second they got up to speed.

“Electrical overload.” Han said unsurprised. 

Kylo stood and popped a panel open. “I’m on it.” 

“Coolant is leaking too.”

“Switch the aux power over to-“ 

“The secondary tank, got it.” Han looked up sharply when the warnings suddenly stopped and reading returned to normal. “What did you do?”

Kylo smirked and tossed Han the wiring his had pulled. “Bypassed the compressor.” 

Han stared at him. He knew that look well. The trademark Solo smirk. It was like staring back in time. What was worse was that he also had Leia’s fathomless eyes that always sparkled when she knew was being impressive. It hurt his heart to look at this kid. It was impossible for him to be Ben, but at the same time... it seemed impossible for him not to be. Leia has always insisted that Ben could still be alive because she would have known if he died. After all this time, he was starting to want to believe that. “Huh. How old are you kid?”

That seemed like an odd question to Kylo, but he shrugged. “About 28 cycles?” Give or take. He wasn’t exactly sure. 

“Huh.”About the right age for Ben... “Where are your people? Back on Jakku?”

“Not sure. Uncle left me there about 15 years ago. He was suppose to come back to get me.” He didn’t know why they were getting into this. Han didn’t seem like the type that cared about someone’s past.

“Huh.” Han got up and headed for the deck area. Ben. This kid had to be Ben. It was too much coincidence. He suddenly wanted to find Luke just so he could kill him. Why had he hidden his and Leia’s boy?! Then he went off to sulk who knows where! He didn’t stay around to see what losing Ben had done to him and Leia... And what’s worse, how could Luke have done this to Ben?! Dumped him in a desert! And he doesn’t even seem to recognize him... what had really happened to his son?! “Move, ball.” He snapped at the droid since he couldn’t yell his questions at Luke. 

He went back to check on Chewie. At least Chewie would be honest with him if he was being crazy and sentimental thinking that his kid might be Ben.

“ _ **Han, I’m sorry, I was useless**_.”  Chewie roared shamefully. 

“Hey, don’t say that.” Han dropped his voice lower. “What do you think of these two?”

“ _ **The one looks like Ben... he can’t be though, can he?**_ ” 

“I’ve been having the same thought. Leia will know.” 

Chewie nodded.  “ _ **She always said-“**_

“I know what she always said. I’m starting to think I was a fool for not listening.” Han looked up as  Ben Kylo entered the room. “So, fugitives, huh?” Of course, despite it all he would take after Han...

“The First Order wants the map. We’re just trying to get BB-8 back to the Resistance.” Kylo leaned again the wall.

“Well, let’s see what you got.” Han said to the droid. Hopefully, it’s worth it.

BB-8 looked back at Kylo, who nodded for him to show them. The little droid really trusted him. BB-8 projected the map into the room.

Han took a good look at the map and shook his head. He should have known it was too good to be true. “This map is incomplete. It’s just a piece.” 

“Why did Luke leave?” Kylo asked. 

Han should have guessed that question would come up quick. “He was training a new generation of Jedi. The temple was attacked and most of his students were killed. He blamed himself and decided he wasn’t fit to be a master. At least not yet. He went off searching for the first Jedi temple. Thought if he gained the knowledge he was missing, he could prevent it from happening again.” He was guilty for getting my son killed. He couldn’t look his sister in the eye after he couldn’t protect her only baby. The bastard might have lied about it, but Han had no idea why. 

“So the Jedi were real.” Kylo had always thought they were just Faery Tales. Legends that people had made up because they felt like the Empire couldn’t be brought down by normal means because it was so powerful. 

“I used to wonder about that myself. I thought it was a bunch of mumbo-jumbo. A magical power holding together good and evil. The dark side and the light. The crazy this is... it’s all true. The Force. The Jedi. All of it.” So if all of that is real and true then of course, this young man could be Ben. The more Han looked at him, the more he felt like it was true. 

A terminal beeped announcing that they were coming out of hyperspace. Chewie stood up.  “ _ **Let me help**_.”

Han silenced the alert and pointed his co-pilot back to his bed. “No, you rest.” He glanced back at Ben. “You want my help? You’re getting it. This is our stop.” Han was going to get his boy to Leia if it was the last thing he did! 

——————

Snoke had called for Kyra and Hux to report what had happened to the map to him. How could his faithful apprentice and best General fail so completely? Perhaps Hux’s troopers were not as well trained as he thought. Perhaps it was the lingering pull to the light that he some times sensed in Kyra. The girl was powerful, but sometimes her heart was not in her tasks. Now they had managed to let a pathetic droid make fools out of them. 

“Supreme Leader, I take full responsibility-“ 

“General!” He boomed as he stood suddenly. “Our strategy must now change.”

“The weapon. It is ready. I believe the time has come to use it. We shall destroy the government that supports the Resistant, the Republic. Without their friends to protect them, the Resistance will be vulnerable. And we will stop them before they reach Skywalker.” Starkiller base was always Hux’s ace up his sleeve. If you can’t beat them, obliterate them. 

Snoke returned to his seat. “Go. See to the preparations.” He was done with Hux. He had another matter to discuss with Kyra alone. 

Hux gave Kyra a meaningful glance before leaving. He had gotten himself out of Snoke’s bad graces despite her attempts to secure his place there. He did not believe she would be so lucky. 

“There was been an awakening. Have you felt it?” Snoke wished to test if Kyra was being mindful of the greater sense of the Force.

“I have.” She could still feel it now. Like a constant ringing in her ear. It was distracting. 

“Your part in this will soon be at hand, my young apprentice. Be ready.” Snoke terminated the communication. 

Rey turned and swiftly went to her quarters. She was getting reckless with her emotions. It had been easy to hide the light she felt on Exegol. Too close under her grandfather’s gaze. Here she felt as though she could let herself go a little. Snoke might be a deformed clone, but he was still strong in the Force and he could sense the light in her. She would need to conceal it better. 

“Where are you voices?” She whispered. “I need your guidance. Why haven’t you spoken to me in so long?” 

Her soft pleads were met with more silence. Had they given up on her since she had to start killing and keeping up these Sith behaviors on her own? They promised she would never be truly alone, but ever since being sent to the First Order they spoke to her less and less and now it had been nearly a year since she had heard from any of them. How could she keep the pieces of her that were actually her if they weren’t here to reminder her? 

And what of this rippling in the Force? She wanted to know if the old Jedi had anything to do with it. The scavenger had something to do with it. Of that she was certain. Perhaps she could find this man when she located the droid. She had little desire to face Skywalker in a fight. As far as she was concerned the last Jedi could die of old age if it meant putting off her assent to the throne of the Sith. But this scavenger... that was far more intriguing in a way she wasn’t sure what it meant. The Force was trying to lead her closer though. She would have to proceed carefully though. She outside of her quarters she was constantly watched. Still that ringing in her ear was a inescapable reminder that there was something out there she needed to find. She would find it. Whatever it was that the Force was leading her to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter Three - Best Laid Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of things can happen in the forests of Takodana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very Ben heavy, but let’s face it this section of the Force Awakens was really Rey heavy. It seems fair.
> 
> Plus, bonus chapter this week! I just really wanted to get to where Ben and Rey finally meet!

** Chapter 3 - Best Laid Plans **

Kylo was the first off the  Falcon when they landed with BB-8 on his heels. He had been in awe of the planet from above. Nothing had ever looked so alive to him. So many plants and so much water! Just right there on the surface. It was almost like the ocean he dreamed about, but this was smaller and calmer. It was still one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen. And the air! It felt so different. A gentle breeze that was cool and fresh and didn’t throw sand around. It wasn’t scorching hot with the sun blaring down. The sun still shown, but it was gentle and warming, not burning and blistering.He stood on the shore of the lake just taking it all in. 

Han went to get a few of the extra blasters out of the weapons hold. He knew Ben wouldn’t get to far and the boy needed more than that stick he had to protect himself with. Maz didn’t tolerate fighting at her place, so he would be safe here, but safe never lasted in the Galaxy. Especially since he was taking him to meet up with Leia’s band of rebels. They were always in trouble or causing it. He finally found the blaster he was looking for. The light pistol he had taught Ben to shoot with. It just seemed right for him to have it back now. Even if Han figured he didn’t remember their lesson from when he was young. 

Finn didn’t realize he was interrupting Han’s sentimental thoughts. “Hey, Solo, are there any First Order sympathizers here...? Like you said we’re fugitives and I don’t wanna get caught.”

“Did you just call me Solo?” Han was annoyed, but also understood Finn’s concern. He handed him a blaster too. “There might be, but Maz welcomes all types here and has strict rules against fighting. Don’t worry about it, kid. No bounties have ever been collected at Maz’s.”

Han headed off the ship to find Ben as Finn inspected the blaster he had been handed. Ben was easy to find as he thought he would be. Stopped in his tracks by the water. Poor kidprobably doesn’t remember ever seeing something like this since he was stuck on that junk heap of Jakku. Han walked over forcing himself not to fidget. “Here. You might need this.” He offered him the blaster.

Kylo took the blaster and shrugged. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, that will just make it easier. Do you know how to use it?”

“Sure. Point and pull the trigger.” Kylo smirked a little. 

Hells, he still sounded like he did when he was eight. Han knew he had been a natural at shooting though, even if he hadn’t like it much. The Force gave him great aim. “There’s a little more to it than that, but that’s the basics.” He took a breath. “You got a name?” 

“Kylo.”

“Kylo?” Han nodded a little despite himself. So he didn’t even remember his name. At least he knew where he stood now. Han shifted on his feet restlessly and looked out at the water. Maybe that would make this easier on him. Prevent him from just blurting out that he believed that Kylo was his presumed dead son Ben and he wanted to take him to Leia to make sure. “Listen, I’ve been thinking of taking on another crew member. Someone that can keep up with me and Chewie. Understands the  Falcon and can appreciate it.”

Kylo looked down at Han shocked and little excited. “You want me to join your crew?”

“I’m thinking about it.” Han never wanted Ben to lead a life like he had, but if it meant keeping him close than sure he could come be a scoundrel like his father before him. 

“I would love it, but...” Kylo shook his head. “I have to get back to Jakku. I was suppose to wait.”

Han was about to make another argument when Chewie and Finn came over. He would drop it for now. First things first, get to Leia. “Chewie, check out the ship as best you can. Come on.” He motioned for Ben and Finn to follow him.

Han loved Maz’s place, but it was a little strange to be back after being away for so long. He gave the boys the same warnings he gave all first timers. The same one he had gotten the first time he came. Not staring to keep you from getting kicked out after all. He did wish that Maz hadn’t drawn so much attention to their group when they entered though. Even with Maz’s rules it was better to keep a low profile. 

Maz laughed after she heard their story. “You are right back in the thick of it!”

“Listen, Maz, I just need you to send a message to Leia for me.” Han was honestly scared that if he sent the message himself that Leia would ignore him. 

“No.” She said with a little smile. “You contact her.” 

“Leia will probably ignore me...” 

“Han, you been running away from this fight for too long.” Maz shook her head and called him an endearing idiot in her own tongue. “Go home.”

Finn thought this was going badly, so he jumped in. “Please, we came here for your help.”

“What fight?” Kylo asked. He had stopped eating to give Maz his full attention. Which was really saying something considering that she had not only given him free food, but the first fresh food he had had in a ridiculously long time. 

“The only fight there is. Against the Dark side. I have seen evil take many forms.” Maz loved having an interested audience and this young man was leaning in and hanging on her even word now. There was more though. She could feel the Force swirling around him. Not to mention he looked like Han. At first glance she had thought that perhaps this boy was an illegitimate son of Han’s and that’s why there was so much apprehension for Han to return to Leia, but her old eyes could see well. This boy had Leia’s eyes and royal air about him. Even if he needed a good bath and fresh clothes, he carried himself with the calm confidence that Leia did. Not the over the top swagger that Han used in his youth. This was their lost son. For some reason though, the boy didn’t realize it. Did Han? “The Sith, the Empire. Today, it is the First Order.There shadow spreading across the galaxy. We must face them. Fight them.”

Finn was breathing hard. Ancient or not, this lady didn’t know what she was talking about! “There is no fighting the First Order.” He tried to make her understand and got defensive when she crawled up on the table and called him out for wanting to run. At least she gave him some good information about getting to the Outer Rim so he could hide. 

Kylo couldn’t believe that was trying to drop out on their deal! “Hey, we’re not finished yet. We still have to get BB-8 back to the Resistance.”

“Look, Solo will handle this. I can’t anymore.” Finn stood and tried to give the blaster back before he went off to secure passage to the Outer Rim, but Han told him to keep it. He hurried over to talk to the mercenaries. 

Kylo looked between Han and BB-8, but decided to try to talk some sense into Finn. It was stupid to feel this level of betrayed after only knowing him a short time, but he really thought that they were friends. They had already been through so much together. That they understood each other. “What the hell, Finn? We had a deal.”

“I know, but you can finish this. It’s almost over. You don’t need me anymore. Or better yet, come with me! It will be safer for both of us. Let Solo take BB-8 the rest of way.”

“No. I promised him that I would help. That means something to me.” Kylo said firmly. 

Finn sighed. “I’m sorry. I really am, but I can’t do this. Take care of yourself, Kylo.” 

Kylo slumped. That Maz lady had been right. Finn just wanted to run. To survive. He could understand that drive to do whatever it took to keep on living. “Yeah, you too, Finn.” He watched his new friend leave him. It shouldn’t sting this much... after all, he had been left before. 

Maz narrowed he eyes at Han after the other two had left. “Who’s the boy?”

“I think... I think he’s Ben. Mine and Leia’s son. I don’t know how, but it’s him, Maz.” Han was so convinced at this point that he didn’t care if Maz believed him or not. “He’s been on Jakku this whole time.”

“I agree. You know I never had the pleasure of meeting him before, but that boy looks like the image of you and Leia. He got your nose unfortunately.” 

“Hey, now!” Han had never been so glad to be offended in his life. Ben has always had his larger nose. “You see why I have to get him to Leia. Heck, I even want to find Luke at this point to get some damn answers out of him!” 

“Hmm. I think Luke must have sensed something. This must have been to protect Ben, but protect him from what?”

“I got a lot more questions than just that to throw at him. And maybe a fist or two.” Han had been mad at Luke for so long over him being unable to take care of Ben. Now it comes out that Ben was alive and alone on a desert planet. That was going to need a lot of explaining. “The thing is, he doesn’t remember who he is... he doesn’t recognize me. He even said he wanted to go back to Jakku. To wait for his damn uncle to come back and get him.”

“The Force is spiraling around him like he’s a sun. I’m not sure what that means, but there is something going on that involves him for sure.” Maz was grim. These were dark times and with another open war starting, it was no time for the Force to be doing something like this. 

“Well, it can stop. I don’t want my son mixed up with that mess again! It’s why we thought he was dead. I won’t have it, not after everything he’s been through!” Han could feel his blood starting to boil. He hadn’t really wanted Ben to train as a Jedi to begin with.

Maz chuckled. “You haven’t changed at all, Han.”

As Finn vanished from sight Kylo heard a strange sound, a child calling out. There didn’t seem to be any children here though. All around the bar and seating area it was nothing but adults... he heard it again and almost without thinking, followed it to a set of stairs. BB-8 decided it was better to stay with Kylo than with Han, so he carefully picked his way down the stairs after him. 

Kylo wasn’t sure if this was a cellar or just some other kind of storage area, but the air was cooler and felt charged. There didn’t seem to be anyone else around though, so why was he hearing a child? At the end of the hall a door activated to his left. It was strange, but he felt as if he was being lead on a string to something in this room. Cautious with his steps, he advanced to a small chest and found an odd metal cylinder that had been carefully placed there. He reached for it, needing to get a better look at it. The moment to touched the cold metal he was no longer in the cellar under the cantina. 

Lights flashed on around him reveling a long, tight corridor that looked like it might be on a ship, Kylo didn’t recognize it. It was unstable and starting to twist, so he ran. There was a strange voice that rang in his ears. 

“It’s energy,” 

He jumped as the corridor collapsed and was nearly hit by falling rocks, but he landed somewhere new. A cloaked figure with a metal hand was kneeling with an old R series droid in front of a huge complex that was burning. His heart gave way to sorrow rather than fear. He felt like he knew this man’s pain. 

“Surrounds us. Binds us.”

Suddenly rain started falling hard and he heard a scream of pain from behind him. He turned to look as someone was run through with a red laser sword. “It’s in everything.” When the body fell he saw a small figure dressed all in black, even a black and silver mask covering its face. Kylo scrambled to his feet as the figure advanced on him with the blazing red sword. Behind this person were six others each much taller than the first and carrying different weapons. Nothing as dangerous looking as the sword that was raised toward him. 

He stumbled backward and landed in the blinding light of the sun and sand of Jakku. He saw himself as a boy fighting to get away from Unkar Plutt so that he might get back to his uncle, but he remembered well being too weak and small to shake him off. He got back to his feet to again watch the ship his uncle left on leave him behind. 

“Ben...” This voice was different, older with planetary accent. Why did that name sound familiar? Why did it sound like he should answer to it? The scene had shifted again as he thought about that. It was snowing in a forest that he had never seen before. The cold biting into him in a way that was numbing. He started to take quick steps through the forest, but the figure from before with the red laser sword stepped out from behind a tree and blocked his path. He could tell it was a woman this time. That why she had looked so much smaller than the other faceless warriors in the rain. He stumbled back from her again as she raised the red blade to finish what she had started moments ago. 

This time, Kylo landed on the smooth stone floor of the cantina cellar. “Ben, these are your first steps.” The second voice whispered. He was breathing hard. What the hell had he just seen?! Why was he still holding that cursed lightsaber. He suddenly knew what the thing he had touched was now... he looked up as he heard foot steps. It was Maz and he was certain he was going to be in trouble for snooping around, but he had so many questions now!

“What happened? What did I just see?!” He demanded. 

“That lightsaber was Luke’s. And his father’s before him. Now it calls to you!” Maz was excited. She couldn’t help it. This lightsaber was always meant to belong to Ben. He looked scared, but he would understand in time. It was time for him to get back on his path to becoming a Jedi.

Kylo shook his head a little. “I have to get back to Jakku.” He’s just a scavenger with no family to really speak of. Why would something as important as this lightsaber call to him? Why had it shown him those bizarre visions? Why had it called him Ben? His head was starting to ache with all of these questions building up like pressure in a tank threatening to explode if it wasn’t vented. 

Max lifted her glasses up on top of her head. “Han told me.” She held out a hand to him. Ben kneeled down and took it carefully, he was shaking a little. “I see your eyes. You already know the truth. You will not find your family there.” His large brown eyes looked so pained that Maz’s heart ached for him. “There is still someone that needs to be found though.” 

“Luke...” Kylo said softly. 

“The belonging you seek is not behind you, but in front of you. I am no Jedi, but I know the Force. It moves through and surrounds every living thing.”

The words from his vision boomed in his head again: surrounds us, binds us, it’s in everything.

“Close your eyes, you can feel it. The light has always been there. It will guide you.”

Ben stood up again. He felt trapped here now. There was just too much to take in and his head felt like it was going to split in two. “No. I... I have to go... I need to get out of here...”

“The saber, take it. It belongs to you now.” Maz urged him to claim it. To start this journey. 

“No.” His words were more certain this time. “It doesn’t.” He stepped passed her and BB-8. By the time he reached the stairs he was in a run. 

Soon he had ran into the forest, loosing sight of everything expect the trees. He was breathing hard and sat down on the ground. This was too much. It had been fun when he had been living a smuggler’s story escape with Han Solo, but this was different. This felt like all the legends he had ever heard about Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. The ones he believed had been made up to give people something more understandable than military strategy about how the Empire was brought down. He didn’t want to be in one of those stories where you were dragged along by destiny whether you liked it or not. 

Kylo jumped when BB-8 suddenly chirped, “ _Where are you going?_ ”

“What are you doing?”

“ _Following you, of course_.”

“No, you have to go back. You’re too important.” Kylo realizing that he meant that he wasn’t important. That’s why he was allowed to run away. 

_ “ _ _I’ll go with you._ ” BB-8 rolled over closer to where Kylo was sitting. The little droid had already decided, he was going with Kylo after he got the map back to the Resistance. With Poe gone he needed someone new and he wanted Kylo. 

“You can’t. I’m leaving.” Kylo shook his head and patted BB-8’s side. 

“ _But you promised!_ ” 

“BB, I’m so-“ He cut his words short as the sounds of engines came from overhead. TIE fighters and troop transports. The First Order was arriving. Han had been wrong. Han. And Chewie. And Finn. He had to get back! They were going to need him. He stood and starting running right back to the place he had just fled. BB-8 followed right behind him. 

The battle had already started by the time Kylo got back to the castle. The First Order was trying to raze it to the ground. He had no idea where the others were, but he did spot a stormtrooper and the anger at the destruction around him sprang up passed the ache in his head. Kylo shot him down. He was taken aback by how simple it had been. So simple to end a life... he didn’t have time to dwell on this thought though or the next life to end might be his. Firing the blaster had drawn attention to where he stood just inside the trees. More stormtroopers were firing at him. He went back into the forest to get cover. He had to make sure that BB-8 wasn’t captured. 

His longer legs and ability to move more freely made getting some distance from the troops pursuing him easier. He told BB-8 to go on without him. He would stay and protect the droid’s escape. How had he been prepared to leave just minutes before this? 

If you want something done right, one must often do it yourself. Rey had known that for a long time and given the recent failures of Hux’s troops, she intended to get this droid herself. The battle was going well and she hadn’t been needed there. An easy attack on unknowing scoundrels and rogues. Surely the stormtroopers could finish up without her assistance? 

She pursued the boy and droid into the forest. Perhaps she could kill two birds with one stone after all. The Force lead her right to the young man, but the droid was not in sight. He looked panicked as he shot at her with a blaster. She easily deflected the shots with her lightsaber, not even slowing her down. 

Kylo had gotten himself stuck in a rock lined area in the forest. He felt trapped as the woman from his vision kept advancing on him. He had to find a away out. He quickly climbed up onto higher ground when he was able hoping with her being short it would give him enough time to get away. 

Rey was unimpressed with his attempts to lose her and wasn’t about to let him get away. She used to the Force to hold him in place, make him lower the blaster. She came toward him slowly now, with her lightsaber off. He wasn’t going anywhere despite his struggles. The Force and his emotions raged around him like a storm. Why was she drawn to him? 

“You’re the boy I have been hearing so much about...” she mused as she walked around him slowly. 

Kylo kept trying to struggle against whatever she was using to hold him in place. He glared whenever she was in his slight line. He didn’t want to let this little killer see how scared he was. 

“The droid. Where is it?” Rey stopped in front of him again. She raised a hand to help guide the Force and pull the information she wanted out of his mind. He grimaced in pain despite that she wasn’t being nearly as rough as she could be. It was plain to see why he was in pain, his mind was raw. Ached like a fresh wound had been craved there. She wasn’t the first person to enter his mind. 

Kylo felt like she had driven her lightsaber into his forehead. The map. He had to make sure she didn’t find the map. How do you hide something in your mind? The more he tried to think of it less it felt like the more she saw. 

“The map. You’ve seen it.” She was about to push deeper to see the map to Skywalker for herself, but she was interrupted by his field commander. 

“Ma’am, there are Resistance fighter. We need more troopers.”

She pulled back from his mind. “No need. Recall the division. Forget the droid. We have what we need.” She used the Force to knock out the man. It was very simple since his mind was basically begging to not have to think anymore. Even for just a moment. She caught him with the Force as he fell and floated him behind her as she began to head out of the forest. 

“Shall we carry him, ma’am?” The commander ask as she passed. 

“No.” She replied flatly. She had him. She wasn’t going to let anyone take him until she got her answers. Even unconscious, these fool troopers would probably lose him. She effortless walked through the debris that remained on the castle that had been here before and boarded her ship. Rey carefully placed him on a medical transport bed and told the pilot to take off. 

She remained close to him to keep him sleeping until she could get him into an interrogation room on Starkiller base. She would have preferred to return to the _Finalizer_ , but Snoke has ordered her to join Hux at the base. She looked down at her prisoner. He seemed peaceful at the moment. His mind had been in so much pain already, he had welcomed her to stop his thoughts from spinning. He was handsome. She pushed that thought out of her mind quickly. What did it matter if he was handsome? She would have to be more careful when she entered his mind next or the pain would block out the information she wanted. 

  
  


Back on the surface of Takodana, Han tried to chase after Kyra Ren when he saw she had Ben. Hadn’t he just said that he didn’t Ben mixed up in this again?! Leia was going to be there any moment... how had he been so close and still failed?! Snoke’s little guard dog had Ben on her ship and taken off before Han had even gotten close. Finn was there moments later as he watched the ship disappear out of the atmosphere. The hope of having his son back having become like the fresh ruins of Maz’s castle. 

“She took Kylo! Did you see?! They took him and he’s gone!” Finn’s panic was not helping Han at the moment. 

_**“Shut up!”** _ Chewie roared at Finn. Even if the kid couldn’t understand, at least Chewie got the result he wanted. Silence. 

Han waved him off and headed over to face his doom at having to tell Leia what had happened. Her ship was coming in for a landing with more ground personnel on it. A small part of him was glad for his cowardice at not wanting to call Leia himself. He could have brought this destruction to the Resistance instead of Maz. Now Leia’s ragtag band of rebels might be the only way to rescuing their son from the First Order. 

Leia was the last off the transport ship. She had been informed that Han was here, but she wasn’t exactly expecting him to be waiting on her. She headed over to him, but stopped a small distance away. After a hug and greeting from Chewbacca and 3PO being 3PO, they were left alone to stare at each other. 

“I found him.” He was already messing this up... “Leia, I found our son. He was here.” His voice broke. 

Leia had always said that Ben was still alive. She never had proof. Never had been able to find him, but she had always felt it. The Force was too strong in her family for her to miss something as huge as her son’s passing. Han had been a different story. He had believe they had truly lost him. “Ben. Ben was here?” She came closer to Han, trying to hold back her tears. “Where is he now?” 

“The First Order took him. Captured him. I think it must be because he saw that damned map to Luke.” Han closed the rest of the gap between, gently placing his hands on Leia’s shoulders. “I’ll get him back.”

Leia pushed Han’s hands off her. Of course, he wanted to charge the First Order blaster blazing! “You’re still a laser brain, Han. We’ll figure out a way to get him back. Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! And thanks for the nice comments and kudos!


	5. Chapter Four - More Questions Than Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey attempts to interrogate Kylo, Han and Finn have a crazy plan, and more drama in a forest!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re nearly done with the Force Awakens! I’m really excited to get to the Last Jedi because that when things are really going to start changing. Anyways, this is a nice long chapter!

Chapter 4 - More Questions Than Answers 

Rey had grown impatient waiting for the scavenger to wake up from the Force sleep she had placed him in. He should have shaken it off by now. Perhaps it was from where his mind was so raw and wanted the rest. She was seated in front of where she had strapped him into the interrogation platform and with nothing to do but study his sleeping form that thought she had about his appearance kept creeping back in. Finally she kicked the base of the platform in an attempt to rouse him. Thankfully, he jerked awake at the noise and slight movement. 

Kylo looked around the room assessing his situation. He was restrained and alone in the room expect for the masked woman. “Where am I?” He was still trying to piece together what happened. His head still hurt, but it had gone to a dull ache now. 

“You’re my guest.” 

Right. Captured. He had been captured. “Where are the others?” He was suddenly very concerned that she had gotten Han or Finn or Chewie as well. Surely they had managed to get away? She had said she didn’t care about BB-8 anymore, so at least the little droid would be safe.

“The traitor and criminals you’ve been making friends with? I have no idea.” She saw no reason to lie about that. His relief was immediate, but there was still something underlining it. He wanted her dead. Rey tilted her head and looked up at him. “You still want to kill me.” He had been trying his hardest in the forest, but a blaster wasn’t exactly a good idea against her at close range.

“Yes. That’s what people usually want to do to faceless monsters that hunt them.” Kylo snapped. Maybe that wasn’t the best choice when she clearly had the upper hand, but he couldn’t stop himself. He realized that he felt more anger toward this woman because of the visions he had seen. She was a killer and it very much felt like she had been pursuing him longer than just on Takodana. 

Rey had to stop herself from shrugging. A shrug never looked intimidating. She usually never removed her helmet in front of people, but he believed that she was scared. She wasn’t going to let him think she was scared. Perhaps part of her wanted to show him that even monsters had faces too. She stood and removed her helmet; shaking her hair out slightly. 

Kylo wasn’t sure what he was expecting to get out of that comment, but it wasn’t this. She wasn’t what he was expecting. He had this image built up in his mind that Kyra Ren must be older and haggard looking, perhaps with a battle scar or two, and cold dead black eyes that couldn’t show anything expect contempt. The girl standing in front of him now was none of those things. She was clearly younger than him. Still an adult, but she couldn’t have been for more than a few cycles. Her eyes were bright, a mix of hazel and green, and looked almost tired. She was beautiful in the way poisonous flowers were. A beauty that caught you off guard and made you believe that it couldn’t be dangerous until it was too late. No wonder she wore a mask. 

Rey enjoyed his shock more than she should have. She placed her helmet on the chair she had been sitting on and calmly stroud closer to her prisoner. “Tell me about the droid.”

“He’s a BB series astromech. Orange and white. With a seleium drive. He’s got a bit of a weird personality for a droid. Why are you in the market for one?” 

“He’s carrying a map to Luke Skywalker. I know you’ve seen it.” Rey knew he didn’t realize it, but those smart comments were keeping the details of the map deeper in his mind. “You will give it to me.” She laced her words with Force. He glared at her. His mind might be raw,it certainly wasn’t weak.

“I’m not giving you anything.” 

She moved in closer to him, her face only a breath away from his, and spoke softly into his ear. “Then I’ll take it.” She used the Force to enter his mind again, this time taking a different approach than she had in the forest. She looked for things that he kept deeper inside that weren’t part of the pain ripping through his mind. “You’re so lonely. Years alone in that desert. Waiting. Dreaming of an island in an ocean. Never wanting to admit that your family wasn’t returning.”

Kylo tried to jerk away from her, but the resistants held him in place. “Get out of my head!”

“Show me the map and I will.” She was shocked to feel him try to push her out of his mind. It wasn’t enough to break the connection, but was to get her away from those memories. She stepped back and moved in front of him. She needed eye contact to wield more Force energy into this. She raised her hand to help guide her power. He winced as she pushed deeper into his mind. “Don’t be afraid. I feel it too.” The pain of his mind. The searing pain like a fresh burn. 

Kylo started fighting with the presence he felt in his mind. He wasn’t doing this again! He couldn’t be sure if what he was doing was helping, but Ren looked like she was struggling. He pushed forward even when he felt resistance. Soon he started to see thoughts he knew weren’t his. “You’re lonely too. Surrounded by darkness. Flashes of light that you think are dangerous.” It was lightening. He had never heard of a planet that was inhabitable like the one he saw in her mind. He thought his mind was painful to be in at the moment, but so was hers. “And you’re scared. Scared that someone will see what you’re hiding. Another name.” 

Rey fought to break the connection, but she felt it was too late when she finally managed it. How had he done that?! Turned the tables on her and seen into her mind?! The parts of herself that she had managed to hide from even her grandfather! That she protected above everything else. She watched wide-eyed as he relaxed back on the platform looking more smug than any prisoner should. 

“Hello, Rey.” 

————————

Leia had given Han the coordinates to the base and landing access to the  _ Falcon  _ to allow him and Chewie to follow them. She hadn’t realized that they had another young man with them until Poe brought him down to the command center.

“General Organa, this is Finn. The guy I told you about.” Poe had been floored when Finn showed up with BB-8 at the base.

“Yes, Poe told me what you did to help rescue him. That was incredibly brave.” Leia always thankful for new recruits, but she had work to get back to. She had a rescue to figure out and a Resistance to make sure didn’t get blasted out of existence by the First Order’s Deathstar upgrade. 

“There’s more, General. The new base for the First Order, Finn used to work on it.” Poe said proudly. 

That changed Leia’s attitude fast. She was no longer in a rush to move on. “You did?”

“Yes, ma’am, but my friend was captured. He helped me escape Jakku and get BB-8 here with the map. He’s been taken to Starkiller base.” Finn explained quickly. He wanted her to know that Kylo wasn’t just someone random. He had already helped the Resistance and deserved to be rescued. 

Ben had helped this young man get here and that meant something to Leia.“We’ll do everything we can to make sure he’s rescued, but what we really need is information to make that happen.”

Han came up at that moment as well. “We’ll get him back.” There was no question in his voice. He was getting their son back.

Finn was shocked that Han was so determined. He must have really bonded with Kylo too, he guessed. “Thank you, I’ll tell you everything I know.”

“We’ll just wait for the briefing.” Poe said and lead Finn away from Leia and Han. He didn’t know much about their relationship nowadays, but he had heard enough stories about when the general and the smuggler had been together to know to avoid the couple when they looked like they needed to talk. 

“Don’t do that.” Leia said to Han walking past him to check some readings on a chart. 

“Do what?” Han followed her. 

“Anything.” She shot him a look and walked off. She could feel this fight coming. Han still wanted to run off without a plan.

“I’m just trying to help.” Han followed her. 

“When has that done any good? And don’t say the Deathstar!” Leia lead him back to the rear of the commander center so they would have a little privacy. At least so they wouldn’t be in the center of operations having this talk. “I know you want to run off after Ben this instance-“

“You don’t?” Han was shocked that she was trying to talk him down. This wasn’t a time to sit around! 

“Of course, I do! But that won’t do anything expect get more of us captured or killed. This isn’t like you and Luke rescuing me. That base will be far more well guarded. We’re going to need a plan. I’ve waited a long time to get Ben back and I’m going to make sure he has something to come back too.”

Han suddenly the shame of having not believed her when she said that

Ben was still alive hit him again. “Leia... I....” 

“Save it, Han. I don’t care anymore that you didn’t listen to me. The important thing now is that we can and will get our son back.” Leia had heard enough of Han’s second-rate apologies over the years, she wasn’t in the mood for one now. 

“General...?” One of the commanders interrupted cautiously.“The recon flight has returned with the specs on the new First Order base. They’re ready for review now.”

“Very well, we’re coming.” Leia motioned for Han to follow her. “Call all the officers. I want everyone here for this.”

The mission briefing went well. Finn was proving to be an invaluable asset by providing addition information that the scans hadn’t been able to access. It didn’t take long for a plan to be put together. Han was going to do something crazy to land Finn on the planet to disable the shields to allow the pilots to get close enough to destroy the thermal oscillator. Which should cause the weapon to overload and blow up the planet. It was risky, but the only workable plan they had since Leia had also been given word that the First Order was charging the Starkiller again to target their system of planets. 

Leia dismissed everyone to their duties and prep for the attack. She let Han, Chewie, and Finn get a head start to the  Falcon before going to speak with them. “You know, no matter how much we fought, I have always hated watching you leave.”

Han turned and smirked at Leia. “I know. That’s why I did it. So you would miss me.” He came over to her and seriously thought about kissing her, but decided that it wouldn’t be right. Instead, he hugged her close to him. “I’ll bring him home. I promise.”

“I know you will. Be safe. I know you’re going to pull one of your schemes.” 

Han pulled back and smiled down at her reassuringly. “I will, but it’ll work. Ben and I will be back before you know it.”

—————————

Her name. He said her name. The name that it had been 15 years since anyone alive had called her by. It was darkly trilling to hear him say it. Like forbidden fruit, she shouldn’t want to savor it. She shouldn’t want him to say it again. 

The shock of hearing her name dulled the sense of her failure for a moment. She grabbed her helmet and stormed out of the room. She quickly secured her helmet back on, feeling far to exposed without it. This scavenger had seen her very being and now she felt like it was on display if she wasn’t hiding behind her mask. “Guard the prisoner!” She ordered a stormtrooper just outside the interrogation chamber. 

She had realized in the forest that he had been Force sensitive, but this was far beyond that. He was strong with the Force. Perhaps as strong as she was. That thought too gave her pause. Hadn’t the old Jedi promised her an equal in the Force? That fairy tale they dangled in front of her for years. That she wouldn’t be alone. That she had another half. No. It wasn’t this scavenger. It wasn’t anyone. They weren’t even speaking to her anymore. It was ridiculous to hold onto that hope. 

She would have to inform Snoke of this development. Of her failure. At least failing Snoke was not as painful as failing her grandfather. She made her way to the audience chamber and had the communication connected to the Supreme Leaded’s ship. It took a few moments before his projection appeared larger than life before her. 

“The scavenger I captured to interrogate about the map to Skywalker. Something happened...” This was more embarrassing than she realized it was going to be. “He was able to resist my attempts to break into his mind fully.”

“What?!” Snoke boomed. “The scavenger was able to resist you?!” 

“He is strong in the Force.” Her one defense. “Stronger than he knows.”

“What of the droid?” He demanded. 

As if this conversation could not get worse. Hux marched into the chamber, likely informed by one of those damned stormtroopers that she had come here to speak with Snoke alone. “Ren felt it was no longer valuable to us. She was very confident in her abilities to break the boy. As a result, the droid has likely been returned to the hands of the enemy. They may have the map already.” 

“Then the Resistance must be destroyed before they are able to reach Skywalker.”

“We have their location.” Hux was smug enough that Rey wanted to choked the life out of him with her bare hands. He was certainly making up the ground he had lost with Snoke over the traitor stormtrooper and loosing the droid the first time. Now the fact that they didn’t have the map to Skywalker was  _ her _ fault. 

“Go. Prepare the weapon. We will rid the galaxy of them once and for all.” Snoke dismissed Hux.

“Supreme leader, I will get the map from the boy.” Rey declared. He had unsettled her, but she would not be so easily overcome this time.

“If what you say is true, bring him to me.” Snoke glared down at Kyra to make his point completely clear. There would no more room for error.

————————

Kylo struggled against the resistants. He needed to get out of here before the girl he had just pissed off returned with new means of making him talk. Digging around in his mind had been painful, but he had a feeling that physical pain was what she would try next. He wasn’t about the stick around to be truly tortured. It was a little odd though... now that he was thinking about it, his headache was subsiding. It felt like some great pressure had been relieved. 

He had heard stories about the Force for as long as he could remember, but Kyra- no Rey, he reminded himself- was the first person that he had ever seen use it. He must have used it as well though or how else had he managed to get into her mind? People were suppose to be able to move things with the Force... perhaps he could release his bindings with it. He took a deep breath and tried to think about how this resistant system must be set up. He was good with most designs, so he thought about how he would have designed this table if it had been him building it. It took a few attempted, but he was finally able to hit the release on the side with what felt like air he was shaping with his mind. Although, it must have been energy. The Force. Whatever. It had worked! 

It was only his good fortune that the stormtrooper in the room him was not playing close attention and didn’t hear the click of the release. He took a quick glance at where the trooper was standing. Those stupid helmets they wore seemed to be blocking him from his sightline though. As silently as he could, he stood up from the plateform that he had been strapped to and back onto the floor. He lifted his hand and was shocked that he was able to slam the stormtrooper against the wall with ease. He knocked him out cold in one go of it too! He could really use this power! It was exciting and a little scary. Had he always been able to do this? It felt familiar and foreign all at once. He would have to contemplate this later though. For now, escape! 

He took the unconscious stormtrooper’s blaster and left the cell wide open. Rey was going to be on the hunt for him again as soon as she found her guard knocked out and prisoner missing. He needed to find a ship and get the hell out of there. Wherever he was. He still wasn’t sure if he was on a ship or a planet... either way, it didn’t really matter, he would need a ship to truly get away. 

He took to the corridors and avoided being seen by the patrolling stormtroopers. It took a little creative thinking, but he found an access point to climb into the inner workings of the base. It was a very tight fit for him, but it was exactly like scavenging back on Jakku. Now that he was getting an up close looking at the inside of the mechanics, he was almost certain that this wasn’t a Destroyer. Not sure how that information might help, but he would keep it in mind. 

——————

Han had impressed himself with landing on Starkiller base from lightspeed. They didn’t make ships like the  _ Falcon _ anymore. A new ship probably wouldn’t be flyable after that mess. He wasn’t exactly sure how to explain the second half of their mission to Finn, so he just decided to be direct with the kid while they were making their way to the inside of the actual base. 

“Look, kid, I know they didn’t exactly say we could, but we’re busting Kylo out of here too. Think you can find where they’re holding him after we get the shields down?” 

Finn looked shocked. “I’ll be honest with you, that’s the only reason I came. I don’t really know how to deactivate the shields myself, but I have a plan.”

Han knew he liked this kid. He would make an okay smuggler. Finn could really bullshit like one anyways. “Alright. What’s this plan of yours?”

It didn’t take Finn long to figure out where they could ambush Phasma. He really loved ordering her around and threatening her. Not to mention the pure satisfaction from shoving her down a trash compactor chute after she had lowered the shields for them. Now all that was left was to find what cell they were holding Kylo in. 

——————

Rey wasn’t usually one to let her anger get the better of her. Anger was an emotion to be channeled and used to access more power through the Dark Side. It was not something to be wasted on objects. That did not prevent her from hacking the interrogation plateform into pieces when she returned to the cell to find her scavenger gone. 

She was still seething at how this day couldn’t get much worse, when she ordered every hanger to be placed on lock down to prevent him from stealing a ship, but that had not lasted as long as she would have liked. The Resistance had somehow managed to get fighter ships past planet’s shields and were trying to destroy the thermal oscillator to render the weapon useless or worse, blow up the whole planet. Even with the hangers no longer on lock down, she could sense that he was still here. 

Just as she had suspected, he was using the Force to aid in his continued escape. She could feel the ripple effect his power had as he tested his new found range of skills. Although, she was loath to admit it, she was impressed at how quickly he was getting control over the Force. Knocking out the cell guard had been brute force, but avoiding the rest of the patrols of troops took more sensing and listening to what the Force had to show. She decided to take a similar path now in using the Force to take her to her fleeing prisoner. 

——————

Kylo turned a corner and nearly shot Finn in the face. He had been trying to watch out for any stormtroopers, but his ex-stormtrooper friend was the last thing he was expecting to see in this place! The last he knew, Finn had been headed for the Outer Rim. Yet, here he was with Han and Chewie! He winced at that. His headache suddenly and sharply coming back. 

There were new flashes in his head. Like the vision from Maz’s cellar, but different. These were short glimpses of things. A younger Han showing him how to start the  Falcon , Chewie teaching him how to fix something on the engine, a woman with brown hair fussing over how greasy him and his cloths were. His uncle helping him put together a droid. They all called him Ben. These visions weren’t scary. They were pleasant. They felt like what he imagined a home was. 

Han stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. “Kid, you alright?”

“What did she do to you?” Finn demanded angrily. 

“Not much... it’s just....” Kylo was staring at Han now. Their noses were similar... had his gray hair once been darker? The woman he saw, her eyes had been dark and deep like his... his breathing picked up a little. “We need to get out of here.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” Han gave his shoulder a squeeze before leading the way to an exterior door. So it was a base and not a ship. 

It was freezing outside. Kylo had heard stories of snow covered planets before and it got cold at night in the desert, but nothing like this. The wind cut through his thin layers like a knife, but he kept moving with the others. Overhead, a battle was raging between the First Order and the Resistance. TIE fighters and X-wings swarmed around like angry bees. It didn’t look good for the Resistance. Han must have realized that too.

“Looks like we’re not finished here yet. After all, we have a bag full of explosives. Let’s use them.” Han headed for the building to their left that all the fighting was focused around. “Finn, can you get us pasted the bulkhead doors inside?”

“If I can use the explosives, sure.”

“I can get all the doors open without wasting any.” Kylo pipped up. He had picked his way through enough ship wrecks to know how to bypass locking mechs. 

“Great! You and Finn handle that, me and Chewie will place the bombs. Once we’re all clear, we’ll blow it sky high.” Han smirked.

It only took Kylo a few seconds once inside, to pull the power-link for all the locks in the area. He couldn’t shake this strange feeling he had in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong, but he wasn’t sure what it could possibly be. Han and Chewie divided the bombs and placed them on alternating levels around the main chamber of the oscillator before regrouping with Kylo and Finn. Everything seemed to be going off without a hitch until they headed back out into the snow. 

It happened so quickly and Kylo hadn’t been paying attention to what was ahead of him. Rey had been laying in wait for them to leave the building. Lightsaber drawn and ready to kill. She had taken a swing at Kylo, one intended to end him. 

“Ben!” Han had screamed as he shoved him out of the way, taking the stoke of the blade himself. It cut through his legs effortlessly. He landed in the snow fighting to not go into shock from the sudden and horrific wound. “Ben... run!” 

A second later Chewie was roaring and shot his crossbow at their attacker. He hit her in the side and sent her stumbling back into the snow. He ran forward and picked up Han’s body as the man loss consciousness. 

Finn pulled Kylo back to his feet and got them both running behind Chewie. They had to get back to the  _ Falcon _ . 

Rey felt like she couldn’t breath with the helmet on. Logically, she knew it was just from the pain of the blaster blot. From close range no less. She removed her helmet and started channeling her pain to make herself stand again. Pain and injury had been so much a part of her training, it was second nature to her to use it to keep fighting. After a few deep breathes and getting back to her feet, she picked up the pursuit again. 

She could already tell that the injury was slowing her down. She decided that the Force would be a fine way to get what she wanted. They had made it to the cover of the forest, but that mattered little to her. She raised her hand and used the Force to send the scavenger flying into a tree. He didn’t get back up, even when the former stormtrooper went to shake him. 

“FN-2187. Traitor.” She called to him. She took a glance at the wookie as it continued to flee with Solo. It was of no concern to her at the moment. What she really wanted was the scavenger. 

Finn stood when he couldn’t get Kylo to wake up. If they couldn’t run, then he would have to fight. He dropped his blaster at some point, but he still had the weapon Maz had given him. He had brought it to give to Kylo like she had asked, but they hadn’t exactly had a chance. He drew the hilt and ignited the blade. 

Even wounded Rey was easily the better fighter.FN-2187 had some instinct for using the lightsaber, but not even to stop her from burning his shoulder and landing what she assumed would be a finishing blow to his back. He slumped into the ground as the lightsaber he had been using landed some distance away in the snow. 

Rey could feel that she was getting uneasy on her feet, but she wasn’t finished yet. She tried to use the Force to call the lightsaber to her, but her focus was greatly lacking. She thought she had finally gotten it when the saber came flying at her but it zoomed past into Kylo’s outstretched hand. She stared at him in shock. The man she thought she had already defeated now stood strong and determined with the blue lightsaber of a guardian and his light colored desert clothing no longer looking out of place in the snow. He looked every bit a Jedi in that moment.

Kylo had so many thoughts spinning through his head. Han was seriously injured. Maybe dying. Most likely the father had had always wondered about. Finn was also gravely injured and could be dying. His first real friend and his father so new in his life and he might be losing them already. There was one person to blame for it and she was standing right in front of him. He had never used a weapon like a lightsaber before, preferring his staff, but it was the best one he could have asked for at the moment. He charged forward to attack Kyra, not longer wondering about he lonely little girl called Reyhe had seen inside her mind. This was just the monster he had seen before. Not faceless, but heartless. Or maybe she did have a heart and he could stab his lightsaber through it... 

Rey was on the defensive from the start. She was injured and getting weaker by the minute. Not to mention he was twice her size. It was clear he was not at all used to single handed weapons like a lightsaber. He swung it around like he intended to bludgeon her with it rather than slice. What he lacked in style though, he made up for in speed and strength. He needed training. She was able to pin him down for a moment by leading him to a cliff that had formed from the planet crumpling around them. 

“You need a teacher. Someone to show you the ways of the Force.” She was not going to win the battle by fighting with her lightsaber. Perhaps words would work. 

“The Force...?” Kylo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. What had Maz and his vision said? It’s all around him and would guide him. He felt more sure of himself again and the path forward was clear. He pushed Kyra back and started to attack again. This time catching her in her shoulder and opposite leg before she pushed forward and grabbed his saber. They grappled for a moment before he was able to break free again. He swung at her, not knowing where to hit, but trusting the Force to help him in that moment. His blade clipped her face and she fell backwards into the snow. He thought with no small amount of satisfaction that she would look as dangerous as she was now. No more lying petals. 

Rey was finished. She could feel it. She wouldn’t be able to pick herself up to defend herself any further. Her breathing was labored and she thought briefly that his last stroke had cut her head in two, but she wasn’t dead yet, so it must not have. Perhaps she deserved to meet this end. She could almost welcome it. There would be no masters to serve in death. Or more conflict between the Dark and Light within her.

The Force had other plans in mind though. Before Kylo could step forward to finish her off, the ground split and broke open between them. The chasm that opened up from the destabilized planet was too far of a distance to cross now. Rey laid back in the snow to wait to die either of her wounds or from the planet being destroyed. Kylo took another look at his enemy before turning to go after Finn. May he never see Kyra Ren ever again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hopefully the next update will be sooner. Maybe even by the end of the week.


	6. Chapter Five - Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo/Ben is reunited with his parents. Hux is annoyed that Kyra is still alive. Rey has some strange dreams. Finn has a lot of healing to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter for the Force Awakens! So excited. I didn’t think I would get through this as fast as I did! The Last Jedi is where things are really going to get interesting, so stay tuned! Also, spoiler alert for Knights of the Old Republic light side path in this one. Which fun fact, Darth Revan is now apart of official canon again! One of the few good things to come out of Rise of Skywalker.

Chapter 5 - Homecoming

Kylo lifted Finn over his shoulder to carry him, not wanting to put pressure on his back because of the wound there. He wasn’t sure where he was headed, but the planet was collapsing and he had to get himself and Finn out of there. He hadn’t made it far before he spotted the  _ Falcon _ flying low as Chewie searched them. He ran for the ship as it landed just long enough for Kylo to get Finn on board. 

He laid the smaller man down on a bunk as Chewie had Han laid on the only medical cot they had. Kylo stomach twisted when he looked down at Han - his father - missing his legs. It had not been an even cut. With one limb missing below the knee and the other above. At least there had not been blood loss, but Han’s breathing was still swallow. He needed proper medical attention. He hoped the Resistance would be able to provide that...

Reluctantly, Kylo joined Chewie in the cockpit and once again took the co-pilot's seat. The faster they could get back to the Resistance the better for Han and Finn it would be. He didn’t think he would be able to lose either of them. Luckily, the base was a short lightspeed jump away from their current location. Chewie told Kylo the landing codes when they came out of lightspeed. He was able to request a medical team be ready for when they landed. Once they touched the ship down, Chewie once again carried Han and Kylo got Finn. It was reassuring to see a vehicle coming toward them with medical staff at the ready to take the wounded men. Chewie followed the transport back toward the base, but Kylo wasn’t really sure what to do with himself now. He had so many emotions and questions running through his mind. He almost missed Leia coming toward him. 

It was like he felt Leia before he saw her. She had a calm, but commanding air about her. And nervous. She was very nervous. He wasn’t sure what she had to be nervous about until he turned to face her. She was nervous to see her son again. This was more intense than it had been when he realized that Han was his father. He hadn’t had any real time to let that sink in. Too much was going on with the escape and battle, but now standing in front of his mother she had all of his focus. It was a relief to think of something other than Han’s and Finn’s injuries for a moment. 

“Mom...” he said softly. As if he wasn’t sure if he should call her that. She rushed forward with tears in her eyes and pulled him down into a hug. “I’m sorry. Han- dad... is hurt. It’s my fault.” He felt tears rising as well as his guilt sunk in. 

“Oh, Ben. It’s not your fault.” Leia was stroking his hair now and trying to comfort him. 

“He was protecting me...” he rested his head on her shoulder. A new memory came to him of Leia comforting him in a very similar way as she was right now. He wasn’t sure what, but something was broken and he felt it had been his fault too, but his mother had tried to tell him it wasn’t. There were still large gaps in his memory. 

“He was glad to protect you. Han has always been a fighter. We’ll get him patched up. It’s going to be alright, Ben.” She kissed the top of his head and he realized this is what he always thought having a mother would be like. Warm and comforting. She pulled back from him once he had calmed down and just looked at him. “I want to hear about everything. Where were you? Luke told us you had been killed when the Temple was attacked.”

Kylo didn’t remember anything about a temple. “On Jakku. I don’t... I don’t remember much from before. I didn’t remember anything from before until...” Until a Sith dug around in my mind. “Something happened while the First Order was questioning me. It was like a part of me opened up again.”

It sounded crazy when he said it out loud, but Leia nodded. “I don’t know why, but Luke must have thought he had to hide you. He must have used the Force to block out your memories.” She took a deep breath.“We’ll have plenty of time to discuss it later. Let’s get you cleared with Medical. Food, a shower, and fresh clothes too. Maybe a bed.”

Kylo wasn’t about to argue with that. As much as he wanted answers, he wanted food and a chance to rest more at the moment. His head might not be hurting anymore, but he was tried. He let Leia lead him off to the rest of the base. Maybe after some sleep more of his memories would return. At any rate he would probably be able to check on Han and Finn afterwards.

———————

Hux was annoyed as the stormtroopers he had sent to retrieve Kyra actually brought her on board the ship still breathing. If only he had been able to send Phasma after her, but no, he had to rescue her from trash compactor of all things! Or he should have gone himself. If he had found Kyra in this state, he would have finished her off and just taken her body back to the Supreme Leader. As it stood there were too many officers that weren’t strictly loyal to him on this transport that had seen her still breathing. He wouldn’t be able to just quietly put an end to that without questions now. 

He would have to take that Kyra had utterly failed in her task as a small consultation. He was still ashamed of his own failings of losing StarKiller base to those resistance scum. It was an embarrassment that challenged the authority of the First Order as a whole. Right in the wake of their great victory of destroying the New Republic Senate. Perhaps they would be able to still manipulate the fear that the rest of the Galaxy felt. If they could make one base capable of obliterating complete star systems they could make more! First, they will have to regroup... 

The transport touched down into the hanger on the Supreme Leader Snoke’s ship, the  Supremacy . Hux called for a medical team to collect Kyra. With a lot of luck, she might have internal injuries that are too great for her to over come. She is quite a slight woman after all. With that annoyance finished, Hux continued on to report with Snoke. 

As expected, Snoke was furious. Hux was not Force sensitive, as Kyra was always so smugly reminded him, but even he could feel that the air in the throne room was charged like before a storm. “Supreme Leader, I know this is less than ideal.”

“Less than ideal! General, how is this anything less than a disaster? Our most power weapon destroyed! This dangerous scavenger and the map to Skywalker are in the hands of the Resistance. If he reaches Skywalker we could have two Jedi to contend with!” Snoke slammed a fist against his throne.

Hux did not give much credit to Force use over good tactics, but he had to admit that it could be a powerful tool. Kyra alone had brought many settlements to heel under First Order control with it. He knew his history as well. Skywalker had brought down the Emperor and Darth Vader on his own. This scavenger could very well be a great asset to the Resistance if he was trained. Even more so if he was able to bring Skywalker himself back into the battle. 

“I have a spy within the Resistance that will surely be sending more information soon. The very one that was able to give us the location of their base in the IIleenium system.”

Snoke scoffed a little, but dismissed him. Hux was certain he had not heard the end of this, but for the moment he gladly left. 

———————

Rey could feel she was still alive, but could not wake yet. Strange visions passed through her mind: a great battle she did not recognize. A female Jedi fought against a Sith with a mask. The mask is really what stuck Rey; she recognized it. An old Mandalorian style helmet, gray with a red T section, but far more fitted than the bucket like helmets the Mandalorians wore now. The mask of Darth Revan. An ancient Sith Lord from the Old Republic that started and ended (if the Jedi are to be believed) the great Jedi Civil war. Which would make the Jedi Bastila Shan. A gifted Jedi that was key in the war as well.

It was unclear why she was having this vision. She knew this already. Bastila defeated Revan, but doesn’t kill him. The Jedi reform him or made him a puppet (if you believe the Sith) and together he and Bastila defeat his old apprentice Maleck. Which ended the Jedi Civil War. The Jedi reclaimed power and the Sith went into hiding. 

The scenes that played out before her were different though. Bastila would clearly had been the victor in their battle, but Malek attacked Revan’s ship and ended the battle before it had finished. Revan was greatly injured and Bastila saved his life. Creating a Force bond between the two of them. Revan had his memories concealed by the Jedi. Once Revan had recovered, the Jedi were transferring him back to Coruscant to be retrained when the transport was attacked. Bastila was captured and Revan saved her. They intially had trouble with their Force link. Experiencing dreams, some of Revan’s fragmented memories, and emotions together. Bastila struggled with a call to the Dark side. Revan struggled with his past. They helped each other and the friends they had gathered along the way. They fell in love. Malek captured Bastila and tortured her until she embraced her Dark side. Revan brought her back to the light and defeated Malek. 

This was not the history that Rey had been taught by the Jedi or her grandfather. The visions of the past faded to black and yet she still did not wake.

“Do you see, Rey?” Her favorite old Jedi whispered through her mind. “This was my story. The others did not want me to tell you the details of it, but I feel that it will be more important to you than they realize.” 

“Bastila?”

“Yes, young one.” She could hear the smile in her voice even if Rey couldn’t see her face. “I am glad that you may know me now. Your journey is not over yet. Your choices still stand before you. You may decide on a different path. One that will not leave you alone. I must go. I have used a great amount of energy to give you these visions.”

“Please... I don’t want to be alone...” Rey could feel herself waking up though. The bright lights of a med bay trying to blind her as soon as she opened her eyes.

“She’s awake!” A medical droid blasted like an alarm. Soon she was swarmed with other med droids to look at her and check her vitals. Everything seemed to ache, but nothing more than her face and side. “You’re lucky you didn’t lose a nose or an eye!”

She let the droids finish their treatments, but she wanted her mask back and to be released to rest in her own quarters. That’s when she was informed that she was on board the  _ Supremacy _ , and not the  _Finalizer_. She would have to report to Snoke if she left medical. She decided it would be better to listen to the droids and rest for the time being in medical. 

———————

After a few hours of sleep, Kylo's worried mind could rest no longer. He did what he always did upon waking, took stock of his current supplies. He had a brief moment of panic when he realized that his staff was not with him, but then remembered that it should still be safely onbound the  _ Falcon _ where he had left it before going to Maz's cantina. That seemed like a lifetime ago... Next, he didn’t have any food or water. The Resistance would hopefully give him more than he had already gotten from them, but if not this planet seemed to have surface water or forests for him to gather more in. He had acquired new clothing, thanks to his mother. It was much thicker cloth than he was used to, but the climate was very different here. The Resistance clothing was also much darker than he was used to wearing, but again different climate than a desert. 

As a scavenger, he didn’t want to get rid of items that were still useful, like his old clothing, but he also didn’t have anything more than his small gathering bag that hung off his belt to carry things in. If you had asked Kylo yesterday if he was attached to his desert clothes, he would have laughed and said they were just to keep the sun and sand off of his skin, but now... it felt like he was leaving the last of Kylo of Jakku behind to move on to... what? To Ben Solo? That was a fragmented memory. 

He shook his head and decided to keep his belts, wrist cuff, and boots. Practicality winning out over sentiment as it often had to for survival. Perhaps he could get a larger bag later. He didn’t have anything to barter with here and wasn’t sure what the Resistance ran trade off of... He would have to ask Leia. For now, he placed the lightsaber and blaster into his pouch. 

He set out to wander around the base and hoped to find Leia or medical. Whichever he could locate first. It turns out that Leia was easier to find since the room she had given him to rest in was fairly close to the command center. She waved him over to where she was speaking with one of the Resistance members. He hovered awkward as he waited for her to get done and tried to ignore that this felt familiar. 

“God, you look like your father...” Leia mumbled as she looked him over in his new attire. She stood and hugged him. “Couldn’t rest for long, I see.”

“No, too much on my mind, I guess.” Kylo jumped as something ran into his legs and started beeping at him. 

_ “ Kylo! You’re okay!”  _ BB-8 excited chirped at him.  _ “Guess what?! Poe is alive! I told him all about how you and Finn saved me! I got the map to General Organa and R2 has the rest of it!” _

He looked back at Leia. "Is that true. Is the map complete? We can find Luke now?"

Leia took a measured breath. "Yes. Thanks to R2 we now have the completed map to Luke. Ben... I know you probably want to go after him."

"Of course, I do! Whatever he did to me, he can undo it!" Kylo hadn't realized how angry he was at Luke until that moment. He might not be completely ready to let go of his time on Jakku, but he wanted his old memories back. Maybe he wouldn't feel like he was missing a part of himself then. Maybe he wouldn't feel like half a person if he could just remember what Luke had stolen from him. BB-8 wisely decided now was the best time to roll off again. 

"We just got you back... Han is in surgery right now."

That stopped him in his tracks. The father he hadn't even gotten to speak withsince he realized they were related and that had lost his legs protecting him, was in surgery. He couldn't just go charging off after his memory while this was going on. It was difficult to believe that he had left his room to check on Han and Finn and had so quickly dismissed them when the thought of getting his memories back seemed like just a lightspeed jump away. "Oh... how... how is he...?" He shifted his weight from foot to foot. 

"Like I said, he's a fighter. It will take some time, but he'll walk again. We don't currently have the best supplies, so he will be stuck with less advanced replacements to start out with. Knowing Han, he'll be moving around on them before he should be." Leia smiled fondly like she was thinking of her own memories with Han. She looked back up at Ben. "I might not want you to leave yet, but I know you will have to go after Luke. I even think you have the best chance of getting him to come back. Or maybe even continuing your training..."

"Training...? He was training me to be a Jedi...?" That seemed like both the weirdness part of this and the most natural to Kylo. 

"Yes. I wanted you to train with Luke. The Force is very strong in our family. I thought it would be best for you to learn to control it from him." She looked away from Ben. "I'm still not sure if it was the right choice or not."

The emotion was heavy in the air and Kylo wasn't sure what to say. "What about Finn? He was hurt too."

Leia was relieved to have the subject changed. There were some things she was just not prepared to tell him yet. "He is getting treatment as well, but he will have a longer road to recovery. The lightsaber thankfully didnt' get deep enough to kill him, but there was some nerve damage that will need to be repaired. I'm afraid your friend is going to be unconscious for weeks to come. All of our medical staff owes him their lives though, so they're very invested in his full recovery."

Kylo nodded. "Good. I'm glad to hear it." It was quiet between them again for a long moment. "There's something else you want to tell me... I don't know why I know that, but... You do." He rubbed the back of his neck. He felt like if he kept saying crazy things and she would want him to have his head checked out. To his suprise though, Leia nodded. 

"It's the Force. You always were very intuned with it." Leia's pride at his ability showed through. "Leading the Resistance became my life after we lost you, Ben. Not many people know that Han and I had a child. Word is going to spread through the ranks quickly though. Especially with everything that's happened. I don't want you to feel like you have to make this life  your life too. Afterall, Han took off back to the stars. I'm sure that's what he'll want to do again. You could go with him. I'm not sure if you have anything waiting for you back on Jakku, but if you want to-"

"Nothing. There is nothing on Jakku for me." Kylo broke in. No family coming back for him in that damned desert. His family was here and he wasn't going to leave them to go back to that sandpit. 

Leia reached out and took his hands. "I just don't want you to feel pressured or like I expect anything of you." Her words felt weighited. Like they were tied to an old arguement or past event that he had no memory of. He got the sense that this was a regret she had been carrying for a long time. He nodded, unsure what else to do. She gave his hands a gentle squeeze before releasing them. "I think that's enough serious talk for now. Feel free to explore the base. I know that Chewie is out trying to do repairs on the  _Falcon_. He didn't like the idea of just waiting around for Han to get out of surgery. Or I can take you to medical."

Kylo shook his head. "I think Chewie has the right idea. I'll see if he needs a hand." He would much rather work with his hands and keep his mind distracted than risk his mind wandering right now.

Chewie was glad to see him again. He wrapping him up in a massive hug. The Wookie was equally pleased to have him there to help with repairs.  _** "This reminds me of when you were little. You were better help than Han by the time you were 8." ** _

"Oh, really? I don't remember much, but I do remember you teaching me something about the engine." Kylo grinned and liked that Chewie wasn't shying away from the fact that he had lost his memory. It was peaceful working with the Wookie. Chewie told stories about the crazy things that Han had dragged him into and one time when Ben had taken the  _ Falcon _ out for a joyride. A few hours passed quickly because of the work and good company, the sunset and Leia finally came to collect them because Han was awake in recovery and asked for them. Both of them. 

Han was propped up in bed with a light blanket over his lower half. His newly attached legs were completely still, but just seeing feet sticking up under the blanket looked reassuring to Kylo. Chewie affectionally ruffed Han’s hair. Leia dunked back out of the room saying softly that she would give them some time. She had preperation to oversee as well. This base would only be safe for a few more days while the First Order was regrouping. 

“Thanks for holding back from hugging, Chewie. I don’t think I could manage a cracked rib too.” Han smirked. 

_** “This is no time for jokes like that!” ** _ Chewie roared. 

“Hey, Ben.” Han looked nervously at his son. “Leia told me that you remember some now...” 

Kylo nodded. “I started to remember a little after I was captured.” He still didn’t want to tell anyone that he thought it was because of Kyra poking around in his head. “I’m sorry...”

“Don’t be. It was Luke’s fault. As soon as I heal up, we’ll head out after him. I think we both have earned a few free swings at him.” Han tried to reassure him. 

Kylo smiled a little, but doubted that he would be able to wait for Han to recover before he would want to leave to find Luke. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. It’s what I’m suppose to do.” Han took a moment to look him over and shook his head. “I see Leia decided you needed to look more like a scoundrel.”

“I guess so. She said I looked like you.” 

“You do. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not.” He chuckled. 

_** “It’s not.” ** _ Chewie mumbled.

“Hey! Now I looked really great at his age. Good enough to make princesses swoon!”

_** “I don’t think Leia even knows what it means to swoon.” ** _

Kylo actually laughed at that. “I have to side with Chewie on that one.”

Han made a big dramatic sigh. “I see I’m out numbered again!”

Kylo could see how it would be easy to avoid talking about anything real with Han and Chewie. They seemed happy to just make jokes and talk about the simple topics. No need to make things awkward. Like Han had said back on the freighter, he could talk his way out every time. Even out of big converstions like your supposed dead son is back and you just got out of surgery because you lost your legs protecting him from a tiny murderous sith lord. He could see how that might strain a relationship... 

He took a breath. "So... I don't really remember much..."

Han shifted a little in bed. "I know, Ben. Its alright. I'm sure Luke can undo whatever he did." He cleared his throat. "And you know... if not... well, at least you're alive."

Kylo nodded a little. He was going to have to get used to being called Ben. He didn't have the words to explain that it didn't feel like his name. A thought of Kyra breifly crossed his mind. That name didn't feel real to her, but when he had called her Rey it was like a light had turned on in her mind. Maybe it would be like that. He would get used to being called Ben and accept it as his name and on the rare occassions that someone actually called him Kylo he would treasure it. He would much prefer to feel like Ben was actually his name. And he would prefer to not think of Kyra. 

"I know it must be a lot to take in..." Han had miss read his facial expression.

"It is. I spent a lot of time waiting for an Uncle to come back to get me from Jakku... I thought my parents were probably dead. I just wish I had left sooner now." Kylo decided it was better not to explain what he was actually thinking about and address the more important topic. He shrugged. "I guess we all have regrets about this, but nothing to do expect keep going and figure it out, right?"

Han looked relieved. "Yeah, kid. We'll all figure it out." Chewie mummered a soft growl of agreement as well.

"I didn't want to mention it, but it looks like you and Leia aren’t exactly..."

"Oh, no... We haven't been for a while." Han squrimed and rubbed the back of his neck the same way Kylo did when he was feeling awkward.

"Its okay. It happens." He was very willing to dismiss that. He felt like his parents relationship issues went deeper than just his assumed death and it wasn't something he wanted to get into. He felt like that wouldn't change with or without his memories. "I'm going to help Chewie get the  _ Falcon _ back in flying condition. Maybe take out a few of those stupid mods if I can manage it with what's around here."

"Good. Maybe by the time the two of you are done with that I'll be up on my feet again. Then we can go punch Luke. I mean, find." Han yawned out the last word. 

_** "You should rest. We'll come back later. Right, Ben?" ** _

Kylo still felt like he would want to leave to find Luke before Han was ready to travel again, but now wasn't the time to talk about that. "Of course. Get some rest, Dad."

Han settled back against his pillows with a concent look on his face. His son was back and had just called him 'Dad' again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So no literal cliffhanger with Luke on the edge of it. I wanted to end on a happy note before we get to all the new drama with the Last Jedi. As always, thanks for reading and special thanks to everyone that comments and gives kudos! So glad I’m not the only one enjoy this little experiment!


	7. Chapter Six - A New Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance is on the run from the First Order. Kylo goes to find Luke in the hopes of getting his memories back. Rey has a lot to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re starting the Last Jedi! So hold onto your hats because this is where big things start to change! I really do hate 2/3 of the Last Jedi movie, so I’m tossing out most of it!

Chapter 6 - A New Journey 

The Resistance base was in controlled chaos mode. If you could call it controlled. To Kylo, it mainly looked like chaos. He was hoping to use that to his advantage. They were headed into the second day since the battle of Starkiller base and Leia wasn’t exactly sure where to head next, but she had given the order for a full evacuation of the base. It was unsafe and they were honestly lucky that the First Order hadn’t attacked them yet. She would figure out a place for the Resistance Fleet to go on a more permeant basis, but for now ensuring that everyone made it off this planet alive was the current goal. A hyperspace jump out into deeper space would ensure that the First Order couldn’t track them. 

Kylo had helped Chewie finish the repairs on the  Falcon and had been spending time with Han while he was wake over the past two days. He also got to spend some time with Leia, but she was usually busy with the Resistance. She had been making a point to take meals with Ben though. Finn was still unconscious, but from what the medical droids and Leia had explained to Kylo that was expected for now. He was healing and that’s what was important. Han, Finn, and the other wounded had been on the the first transport out for the evacuation. 

The Resistance was disparate for good pilots, but when Kylo had tried to get Poe to let him take an x-wing to help with the evacuation the commander had flat refused. 

“Look, I know you’re Finn’s buddy and I think my droid is in love with you,” Poe started.

_ “I am not in love with him! He saved me!” _ BB-8 protested in shrill beeps.

Poe continued as if he couldn’t hear his droid. “And if half the stuff they’re saying about you is true, I’d love to see what you can do in a fighter, but... I’m not going to give you a ship until you actually join up with us. General Organa made it clear that you hadn’t made up your mind if you want in on this fight. Personally, I think it’s everyone’s damn fight, so you need to stop dragging your feet, but I respect Leia enough not to say that to her.” Poe was easy to like. He was cocky, but affable. People respected his skills and opinions, probably why Leia had made him a commander

“It’s complicated...” Kylo really didn’t have a better argument for why he wasn’t ready to just jump into this war that he felt like was going to drag him in anyways. Why fight a sandstorm when it’s just going to swallow you up? Because he was stubborn and wanted to get his memories back before joining a fight that he felt he both was and wasn’t a part of.

“Yeah, I got that. I’ll see you at the new base.” Poe gave a curt nod and motioned for BB-8 to follow him. They were off to protect the larger transport ships just in case the First Order showed up during the evacuation. 

Kylo sighed. So much for getting a ship to head after Luke with. He had been able to memorize the coordinates when Leia had shown him the full map, but it was useless without a ship to take him there. Of course, his part in he evacuation plan was to go on the  _ Falcon _ with Chewie. He really didn’t think the Wookiee was going to be okay with him wanting to take a major detour away from the Resistance. He didn’t think Leia was ready to let him leave yet either. To him though, Han was healing well and Finn was in good hands to continue recovering. Now seemed like a good time to go get his memory back and then he could meet up with everyone afterwards. Right now he just felt like he wasn’t exactly what they were expecting. like he was already letting them down. While Chewie didn’t seem to have a problem with him not remember or at least accepted that it was just the way things were. Han and Leia were walking on eggshells with him. Like one wrong word was going to make him disappear again. Maybe sneaking off to find Luke wasn’t the best way to handle that, but it was his current best plan. 

Resigned that he would just have to wait longer to get his memories back, Kylo headed back to the  _ Millennium Falcon  _ to get ready to leave with Chewie. Most of the fighters were already out of the atmosphere to protect the transports and the smaller ships were loading up with personnel and whatever they could grab that would be useful at the new base. The chaos seemed less intense as more and more people were getting off the planet’s surface. Kylo was surprised that his path crossed with Leia on the way back to the  Falcon .

“Mom, shouldn’t you be on a transport already?” He was concerned. Surely the leader of the Resistance should have gone to safety in an earlier wave!

“I was looking for you. Here.” She smiles sadly and handed him two small devices. One was clearly a navigation drive. The other was cloaked beacon with a soft blue glow if he was right, but why would she be giving him that?

“What are these for...?” 

“It’s the map to Luke and a binary beacon to guide you to where I end up finding a new base.” 

“But I’m coming with you...” That sounded like a weak argument even to him. 

“I’ve seen that look before, Ben. You don’t plan to follow us right away. You want to find Luke. I can’t stop you, even if I would like for you to wait. I can give you a way home though.” Leia pulled him down into a tight hug and kissed his forehead. “Keep it hidden.”

Kylo hugged her back fiercely. He knew exactly what she meant. Even if for some reason Luke tried to erase his memories again, he would still be curious enough to activate the beacon and find his way back. “Thank you, Mom. I’ll make it back to you again. I promise.”

“I know you will. And if you can get your stubborn uncle to come too, it would help. If not, let him sulk forever.” Leia still loved her brother and wanted to understand why he did this, but that didn’t stop her from being pissed that he had taken her boy away and lied to her for nearly two decades! “Now, hurry. We both have ships we need to get to.” 

Kylo tucked the beacon safely into his pouch and then ran to the  Falcon. Chewie was already waiting on him.

_** “Time for another adventure.” ** _ Chewie was in co-pilot’s seat and had already started the take off procedures. 

“Mom told you?” Kylo took the pilots seat and got the  Falcon  into the air.

_** “Of course, she did. I told her I would rip Luke’s arms off if he tried that trick again.” ** _ Chewie bared his sharp teeth for good measure on that one. Even if civilized Wookiees never used their teeth or claws to attack, it still looked intimidating. 

“Well, that certainly makes me feel better.” Kylo grinned and plugged the navigation drive into the proper port on the controls. The course was plotted by the time they were out of orbit. The lightspeed jump didn’t take as long as Kylo thought it would. He was expecting it be hours before they arrived, but it was uncomfortably short... 

“I know this place...” Kylo looked over the massive oceans on the planet and saw what he knew would be there; the island from his dreams. “I’ve dreamed about this place.”

* * *

At the medical droids insistence, Kyra had stayed under observation for 36 hours before they released her. Her movements were still somewhat stiff from her injuries, butdespite the droids suggesting she stay another day, she left to report to Snoke. She looked weak enough already without an extended stay in medical. Thankfully, whatever troopers had taken her from the forest at the former Starkiller base had the good sense to get her helmet as well. She was once again pleased to be able to hide behind it and hide her still healing facial wound. 

Snoke made her wait outside the throne room for longer than usual. Probably to show her that she was no longer given a priority status over other things. She had failed in every sense of the word. Honestly, Snoke would not be the only one questioning her abilities now... she would most likely be hearing from the Knights of Ren as well. Ren would surely want to see if she was still worthy to command them. Power was always a fickle thing. Those who had power always had to fight to maintain it. A Sith lesson for sure, but one history taught her was true of most people or things set to be in charge. 

She was finally allowed into the throne room and she knelt before her assumed master. She could feel the disapproval and disappointment through the Force effortlessly. Snoke was basically oozing with those emotions. “How are your wounds?”

“They’re nothing.” She said firmly. Even if she could still feel a sight pain in her side with every breath and her leg and arm that had been struck with the lightsaber hurt every time she moved them. 

“Remove your mask.” It was not a request. Rey looked sharply up at him. Not once since she had arrived here several years ago had he asked for her to remove her helmet. Perhaps he just wished to see the wound there? Unfortunately, she got the since it’s it was much more than that. “You heard me.”

Rey steeled herself and her facial features before complying with his order. She felt exposed immediately. This deformed clone would surely see through her now. She had never been certain if Snoke was able to contact her grandfather or not, but she knew someone would be reporting back about her actions to him. This failing would surely reach him and his horrible Sith cultist. 

“The great and powerful Kyra Ren. Nothing more than a little girl who cannot even defeat one pathetic scavenger. For all your talents and training, you were bested by a boy that had never held a lightsaber before.” Snoke stared down at her in disgust. 

Rey was expecting worse. Naturally, she knew better than to defend herself from these comments. Any defense would be seen as an excuse and further weakness. Insults were easy to bare in any case. Perhaps that is why she was caught off guard when Snoke struck her with Force lightening. She let out a small cry of pain and landed in a heap a few feet away. All of her wounds felt like they were still being stuck with the electricity for long, lingering moments afterwards. 

“There is no place for such weakness here. You will not fail me again.” Snoke waved a hand for her to be dismissed. She reached to retrieve her helmet again; to be able to hide again. “Leave it. Let everyone who meets you know of the shame and defeat you suffered at the hands of a novice.”

Taken aback by his order to leave her mask behind, she hovered there for a moment on the floor. She picked herself back up and, after a glare at Snoke’s back as he returned to his throne, she marched out of the room. Her face would have to become her mask now. Let no soft emotions show on it. She could not afford to lose anymore face as it was. 

She headed for the bridge and tried to ignore the glances she was getting from every stormtrooper that she passed. It was as strange of a sight as if one of them had been without their helmets. With a lot of discipline, she was able to walk to the bridge as she would have any day. When she entered the bridge, the room had a slow and annoying wave of silence wash over it as she strode over to where Hux was standing with another office. Even Hux seemed to have a moment of confusion about what to make of her being without her mask. He righted himself after a moment.

“Finally decided to get back to work, Ren?” Hux sneered down at her in his usual manner. 

Rey felt as if the hushed silence of the bridge was waiting on her now. It took her a second to realize it was because none of them had heard her actual voice before. “Yes. When are we attacking the Resistance again?”

Hux faltered for a moment, but regained himself quickly. “We are preparing to make the lightspeed jump now to meet with the  Finalizer and several other destroyers from the fleet before making for the pathetic Resistance base before they can flee from it.”

“Excellent.” She would much prefer being on the  _ Finalizer _ again and get a small amount of space from Snoke. She doubted that would last though. With her current failure being so close, he would most likely wish to keep her on a short leash.

* * *

Poe was helping guard the transport ships when the worst happened. BB-8 started beeping out a proximity warning after a short sonic boom. Three First Order Star Destroyers had just came out of lightspeed.“Ummm, General Organa, we got company up here! Three large party crashers!” Poe radioed down to the base as they sent the TIE fighters out to engage as well as landing crafts headed down to the planet. “There are landing ships entering the atmosphere too!”

“Engage, Commander. Protect the main ship. There will be more transports on the way. I’m giving the full evacuation notice of the base.” Leia ordered. 

“Alright, you heard the General! Form up and make sure those transports get into the hanger. We just have to hold them off.” Poe called to his squadron. 

The two ships that were already loaded to capacity made the jump to lightspeed. At least they had less large targets now. With any luck the shields would hold out on the main crusier and they could just keep it as a dog fight between the x-wings and TIE fighters. Poe held his squadron in formation to protect the line of transports, but with three destroyers’ worth of TIE fighters to contend with, they were starting to get picked off. 

Down on the planet, Leia gave the notice for the remaining ground crew to get to their transports. It was only minutes after Poe’s contact before the First Order troops landed and started an assault on the remaining Resistance members in the base. It was chaos as the last of the fighters took up defensive positions to let other rebels make it out of the base. It was a matter of minutes before they were over ran. Leia’s transport with much of the command staff was the last to make it out. With three of the transports being brought down before they could even make it away from the base. 

“Poe, the last of the transports that can make it are headed to the main ship. Get your team ready to pull out.” Leia called as her transport left the planet.

“I would love to, General, but we’re a little busy!” Poe had his hands full as they were currently out numbered five to one with the odds not getting better. They had even lost one of the transports before it could get safely into the hanger! 

Suddenly, all the TIE fighters dropped their attack formations and made a break to return to their Destroyers. “Leia, we got a big problem! They just recalled their fighters. They’re going to charge up the big guns to hit the main ship.”

“Disengage, Commander. We need to make the jump to lightspeed before they can start firing. Our shields won’t hold against them.” Leia ordered as her transport docked in the main ship’s hanger finally. 

“Head for the rendezvous, men. This party is over.” Poe always tried to keep things light, but he can count. They lost a lot of good men and women during this fight. They were just barely able to make the jump to hyperspace before the First Order opened fire with the larger lasers on the Destroyers.

Rey walked through the command center of the now deserted Resistance base. She stopped to try to access one of the computers that had been left behind, but it only took her a few moments to find that it had been wiped clean. She had the stormtroopers searching forany survivors, but she doubted they would find any. They had been swift and thorough with their attack. 

She returned to the outside and looked to the sky. A few muffled booms confirmed that some of the Resistance had gotten away. She felt slightly better knowing that Hux’s plan had failed. She paused for a moment to take in the sun and the breeze on her face. How long had it been since she had felt those sensations without a mask? Now was not the time to be thinking such idle thoughts. She turned as a trooper approached. 

“Report.” She demanded.

“No survivors found, ma’am.”

“Gather the troopers and return to the  _Finalizer_. There’s nothing of use here.” Had her scavenger been here...? Was he still with the Resistance? More useless thoughts that she had to push out of her mind. 

She returned with the rest of the stormtroopers back to Hux’s ship. Rey headed to the bridge. “Your plan to finish off the Resistance seems to have failed again, Hux.”

“Perhaps your point of view is somewhat lacking from that height and without your visor, but we merely have them on the run.” Hux looked down at her in disdain. He must have felt bold to insult her so openly. It wasn’t the first time he had made a snide comment about her height. He and Phasma often enjoyed commenting on her short stature, but never on the bridge. 

Rey squared her shoulders. “Oh, yes, on the run at lightspeed. How do you plan to track them now?”

“There’s no need to track them. I have a spy among their ranks. All I need do is wait.”

She would very much like to choke the smugness out of Hux with the Force. Despite how infuriating she found him, even she had to admit he had a good mind for tactics and it would be a waste to kill him... for now. She was feeling petty enough to trip him with the Force though when they left the bridge to give Snoke an update of their progress with finishing off the Resistance.

* * *

  
A chill shot up Kylo’s spine as soon as he stepped onto the island. This place that had been calling to him for years seemed to connect with him instantly. Luke was here. He could feel him. He could feel everything here on the island. The sensation reminded him of when he had tapped into the Force with clarity during his fight with Kyra. It was overwhelming at first, but then the feelings settled down. Whatever this island was, it was strong with the Force. 

He followed where his feet lead, for they seemed to know the way. Chewie trailed behind him, giving him some space. The island was beautiful. Lush green hills that were alive with round bird-like creatures that didn’t seem dangerous at all. They must not have many predictors here either because they didn’t flee as he and Chewie approached. 

There was a lot of climbing to get to where Luke was. Kylo got the impression that he might even be hiding because they had passed through what looked like a tiny settlement with stone huts and some signs of someone living there. Why else would Luke be so far passed that place? Finally, Kylo arrived at where Luke was standing with his hood up as he stared off into the horizon. Maybe he wasn’t hiding, but waiting? Why wait for them way up here though? Wouldn’t it have been easier to meet them at the huts or better yet where they landed! 

Luke turned and stared at Kylo for a long moment in silence. The older man wasn’t exactly what he was expecting. He was clearly an older version of the uncle that had left him on Jakku. That memory had snapped back into place. His face was tired and reminded him in very small ways of Leia. His hair was shaggy and not very well kept, no one to impression on the island expect the birds... The metal hand he never remembered before now had fitted itself into the few memories he had of this man. He suddenly realized that he must have been the man he saw with R2 during his vision he had at Maz’s: the one where everything was on fire... 

“I really have failed.” Luke sighed after he glanced at Chewie. There would be no pretending this wasn’t Ben with his old wookie friend. "You're a lot taller than I thought you would be..."

"You ditched me on a desert planet for 15 years without any memories and all you have to say is I'm taller than you expected?!" Kylo felt his blood start to boil.

"I'm sorry it was for your protection seemed a little... lacking." Luke shifted on his feet for a moment and then started back down the path that Ben and Chewie had just come up. "I suppose it was for nothing in the end though. You're here. Where's Han? Feeling too old to make the hike to come punch me himself?" He seemed to find enough humor in that to smile faintly.

_** "He's not here." ** _ Chewie snapped.

Luke stopped in his tracks and looked back up at the two of them. "What do you mean he's not here? I know Leia didn't leave her rebels. What happened?"

"He's recovering. Lost his legs protecting me..." Kylo admitted sadly. 

Luke stared at him for a long moment again. He seemed to realize something this time. "How much do you actually remember?"

"Pieces. Random broken bits that don't always make sense. I need you to fix whatever you did to me." He meant to sound demanding, but with his thoughts still on Han his anger at Luke was less. After all, Han probably didn't even realize that he and Chewie weren't with the Resistance anymore.

"Any of your training?”

“No. Mom told me some things. About the temple being attacked, but nothing about actually being there.” 

Luke looked relieved. “Good. You might be safe yet.” He turned and continued back down the path toward the huts. 

“No one is safe. The First Order completely demolished the Republic and are close to finished off the Resistance too. I need my memories and you need to come back to fight!” Kylo followed him, getting frustrated.

“You sound like Leia.” Luke mumbled without looking back.

_** “He’s got a point there...” ** _ Chewie chuckled in a strange sound that nearly sounded like he was choking. 

“Yeah, sure, laugh it up! This is serious.” 

“And Han.” Luke had reached his hut and slammed the door behind him. 

Kylo pounded on the door. “You have to help, Uncle! You owe me that much after what you did! You can’t keep hiding from this!”

“Watch me.” Luke sighed deeply. “Look, Ben, or whatever it is you call yourself. It’s better this way.”

That stuck a nerve with Kylo. Before he realized what he was doing, he had pushed the door off it’s hinges with the Force and sent it flying into the far wall of Luke’s hut. “You don’t get to decide that.” He was breathing hard and glaring at Luke. 

_** “Take it easy, Ben.” ** _ Chewie murmured surprised by the sudden crash. 

Luke stared up at his nephew in shock. “I see you’ve found your power more easily than your memories.” He shock his head. “I should have known it was foolish to think that you would just stay on Jakku. Find a girl. Have a family. Maybe start a moisture farm... you always were too much of a Skywalker for a peaceful life.” He stood up and walked passed Ben to leave the hut. “You can stay in any of the buildings you like.”

“So you’re going to help?” Kylo was shocked that breaking a door was all it took.

“I don’t know. I need to think, but you got a double dose of stubborn. Not like you’re going to leave. Might as well not get rained on or be stuck in the  Falcon. ” 

Chewie took one look at the tiny and bare houses and shrugged.  _** “I think I would rather stay with ship. That is, if you think you’ll be alright, Ben?” ** _

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not going to hurt him.” Luke grumbled

“Oh, I almost forgot...” Kylo reached into his bag and pulled out the lightsaber. “This is your’s, isn’t it?”

Luke shook his head. “No. That hasn’t been mine for a very long time. And it never will be mine again.”

Not exactly the reaction he had been expecting, but he put the lightsaber back into his bag. Kylo decided on the hut across the way from Luke’s and headed there. Chewie returned to the  Falcon after a brief good-bye to Ben and a promise that he would come back to check on him the next day. As Kylo settled into his hut, he heard the sound of Luke propping the door he had broken back up over the entrance. 

The stone building was about the same size as the desabled AT-AT that had been his home on Jakku, but it felt far more open with the high ceiling. He would have to see about gathering wood for the fire pit since this planet was cold and wet. At least Leia had made sure that he had rations to eat, so no need to get food yet. Fresh water was the main thing he would have to seek out. He found it a little funny that the moment he was alone he settled into making a survival plan for the day. How had he ended up so far from the desert and still his first instinct was to ensure he would last through the night. As he marvled at his own obsession with surviving, he felt like he wasn't alone anymore. He looked around the empty hut confused and ready to shrug it off as a fluke of not being used to how this planet felt with its strange intense Force, but then he saw her. 

Kyra Ren was sitting across from him. Her mask off and the wound he had given her now a scar that divided her face in half. It was clear from her buffled look that she saw him as well. Her lips parted slightly as if she was going to speak. Kylo drew his blaster and shot. She disappeared and he was left to stare at hole he had shot into the stone hut. What the hell had just happened?!

* * *

Rey had returned to medical after the breifing with Snoke. She wanted the wound sealed since she was being required to go without her mask. The scar, she thought, would be more passable than the bonding mesh that was currently aiding in her healing. She sat stock still as the droid worked to finish knitting her skin back together. It stung and the pull of the tight skin still hurt, but it was manageable. 

She felt an odd resonance through the Force when the droid was nearly done with its task. It started as a ringing in her ears and the feeling that she was no alone in the room. She was caught off guard when the scavenger was out of nowhere sitting across from her on nothing... She was about to ask what sort of vision this was when he pulled out a blaster and shot her! Perhaps she shouldn't be so shocked... she did deserve it. It felt like the blast might have made contact with her, but after a panicked moment of checking to see if there was actually a new wound, she realized that it hadn't. The connection through the Force wavered for a moment, but then she felt like he was still nearby. As fast as she could, she left medical and followed that sensation like a string leading her to him. Somehow he was now behind her and staring at her with hatred, but also curiousity. 

"What did you do?" He demanded. 

"I'm not doing this. The effort would kill me. And you're not doing it... Can you see my surroundings?" She was interested in this. Had this been what Bastlia was talking about? The part of her story that would be more important to Rey?

"No. Just you." His curiousity was losing to his anger quickly.

"You're all I can see too."

"What's that?" A muffled voice from somewhere behind the scavenger asked. Rey couldn't see who it was, but the thought she got from Kylo was that it was Skywalker. When Kylo turned away from her to address Skywlker, he disappeared again. This time there was no lingering of his presence. Whatever Force connection they had shared, it had eneded for now. She got the sense that this would not be the only time they saw each other like this...

____________________

"I was cleaning my blaster and it went off." Kylo wasn't sure why he was lying. Maybe it was because he was still angry at Luke. Maybe it was because he was scared of what Luke would do if he admited that a Sith was still in his head... Was she in his head though? This had felt comletely different than when she had been rooting around in his mind. For one, it didn’t hurt. They had seemed to have equal control over it too. There was no pull for power and the upper hand that he remember from when he had turned the tables on her during his interogation. So this was something new...

Luke shook his head, but he seemed to believe him. "Well, be more careful." He turned and headed off toward a different part of the island. 

Kylo, with nothing better to do than follow Luke around, went back into the hut and grabbed his staff. He decided to leave the blaster behind though before he took off after Luke. Kyra has disappeared when Luke had showed up so maybe being with someone right now would keep that from happening again. He was not sure he believe that she hadn’t caused that link, vision? Whatever. He just hoped it never happened again. The next time he saw her, he wanted it to be on a battlefield again, during a fair fight, and he could finish what he started on Starkiller base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! And a big thanks for everyone who left Kudos and comments! I feel like this chapter was a little slow since I had to set everyone up since this is technically the start of a new section. Next chapter should be more fun! More Forcebond stuff with Ben and Rey for sure!


	8. Chapter Seven - Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo has a lot of different connections in his life. An uncle he wants to help him connect with his memories. Chewie that helps him stay connected to this weird branch between his present and past. Rey who the Force is still connecting him to at random for some reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I made the outline for this chapter I didn’t realize how long it was going to be, so I broke it into two chapters. I feel like it flows better that way, so this is Rey and Ben’s half of the chapter. Good news is that means a double update!

Chapter 7 - Connections

Kylo was uncomfortable withhow much of Luke's life here reminded him of his time on Jakku. Luke's day was comsumed with tasks that simply ensured his survival. In the morning the older man would gather food. Which included a display of disgurtingly drinking warm milk from some sort of sea creature that Kylo felt his uncle had done just to gross him out. There was some fresh water on the island, but it was a long hike up on one the cliff sides, so the milk was much easier to access. Kylo opted for the long hike up to fill as much water as he could carry. Luke would also fish with a ridiculously long spear off the sheer face of a rock wall. Kylo thought there had to be an easier way than that to fish here! If Luke hadn't looked so practice at this feat he would assume that like the milk it was done just to prove to him that his uncle was in fact crazy. In the afternoon, Luke was render his fish into etable pieces and smoke them using a combination of wood and dryed moss. If he needed more fire wood, that was another decent hike to the side of the island that actually contained trees. This place was beautiful, but just as inconvenient as a desert to live in. 

There were some natives here other than the porgs. Fish like creatures that Luke had explained took care of the Jedi settlement that they were staying in. Kylo didn't know their laungage, but one had hit him in the leg with a broom for the hole he had blasted in the wall of his hut. He got the sense they really didn't like him for having damaging it, but by the time that he had returned from gathering water from the mountian they had repaired the hole like it was never there in the first place. Luke called them the caretakers and didn't seem to speak their language either, but nodded politely to them when he passed one. 

Kylo decided after two days of following Luke around that he would rather go visit Chewie down at the ship. Maybe he would have some word from Leia or Han. The Wookiee was out of the ship and setting up some small box traps. 

“What are you doing, Chewie?” 

**_“Oh, hey, Ben. I’m going to catch a few of these birds to eat for dinner. I’m tired of rations.”_** Chewie growled and waved a little as he approached. 

“Oh, Luke says they’re called Porgs. I’m not sure I could eat them, but good luck.” Kylo shifted a little. “Have you heard anything from mom or dad?”

****

**_“Not yet. I bet Leia is still looking for a good base and Han probably hasn’t been released from medical. Not sure how long that will last with us not there.”_ ** Chewie stood and headed back into the ship to wait for his traps to do their work.

“Yeah. I know what you mean... let me know if either of them do try to contact us.” Kylo followed him. 

Chewie sat down at the Dejarik board and cut it on. **_“Do you remember how to play?”_**

Kylo sat down across from him and look a long look at the board and finally smiled a little up at Chewie. “Yeah. You taught me how, right?” He could remember playing with Chewie a lot. “Can we play now?”

**_“Of course!”_ ** Chewie seemed excited and pleased that Ben remembered this and wanted to play.

Kylo played for a couple of hours with Chewie. The Wookiee was very skilled at the game and even after many games Kylo hadn’t beaten him. It was still fun and a welcome distraction. Chewie was resetting the board when Kylo heard the sound of something hitting the side of the ship. More like lots of small things hitting it... 

“What is that?” He stood up concerned that something was wrong.

**_“Hmmm... sounds like rain. I guess you’re not used to much of that in the desert.”_ ** Chewie shut the board back down and went over to a supply closet.  **_“Here. I think this place gets a lot of rain. You don’t want to stay wet in these colder temperatures.”_** He handed Ben a dark green rain poncho. 

“Thanks, Chewie. I think I’m going to go check it out.” Kylo pulled on the poncho and headed back off the  Falcon.

**_“Have fun.”_ ** Chewie chuckled at him.

Kylo was fascinated with the rain here. It was very different than the flash storms that rarely happened in the desert. They would last for a few minutes and might leave some puddles or a sudden spring of plant life, but that only happened a few times a year. This rain seemed constant and like it wasn’t going to give up any time soon. He wished he had known it was going to be like this. It would have saved him that long hike for water. He could havejust sat his containers outside his hut and let nature fill them up. Fresh water falling from the sky was amazing. 

Kylo thought he heard the sound of metal clanging and the strange ringing in his ears was back. A moment later Kyra was standing in front of him again. All the good feelings he had felt from spending time with Chewie and the rain disappeared. He wasn’t as caught off guard this time and glared down at his enemy. “You’re going to pay for what you did to my father!”

“I had been aiming for your arm.” The way she said it as if it expexted that she would cut through anyone to get to what she was after really didn’t set well with him. “He is your father?” Kylo realized too late that this was information he probably shouldn’t have given her... “You’re Ben Solo.”

“What does it matter? You’re going to lose. I found Luke.” He tried to turn the conversation away from who he was.

“And he’s training you, is he?” As if she already knew the answer. “It still seems that you need a teacher.”

“Not from a monster like you!”

Kyra took a few measured steps closer to him. “Did you tell him about this? How the Force is connecting us.” Kylo only answered by glaring down at her. “Oh, you didn’t.” 

She looked so real standing there. Water was even on her cheeks and hair from the rain. Was this connection more than just them seeing and hearing each other? He was about to ask if she could actually feel the rain when she disappeared. He shouldn’t be this curious about a connection with Kyra. It was an accident. Probably something that they caused when fighting in his mind. He hated her for what she had done to Han. He hated that she acted like it was nothing! Most of all, he hated that she had a point about him not telling Luke about this. He didn’t trust Luke. Worse was that he wasn’t sure if he ever could.

The next day, Kylo was following Luke up to his fishing jump of near death as he had been calling it in his head, when he felt a strong pull from the Force. At first he thought it might be Kyra again, but this felt different. She had been intense and almost like her presence was on top of him when their connection was open. This was as if something was whispering to him to follow. A call to heed. He stared off into the distant fog, but it wasn’t dark or foreboding. He glanced back up at Luke and then decided he would rather see what the Force had to show him than see his half-crazy uncle jump off a cliff again. 

It was an easy hike to a place that resonated strongly with the Force. When the fog parted, he saw a large bare and twisted tree that had a opening like a door near the base. He realized with a small shock that he knew this place. He knew exactly what this tree held and what it looked like inside as well. This is the place he had been dreaming about on Jakku. Not just the island, but this tree and the books it held inside. 

Kylo dunked into the small space inside the tree. It opened up a little past the entrance, but he was barely able to stand at his full height. He gently trailed his hand over the smooth wood of the wall. Part of him needed the physical reminder that this place was real and solid. He felt at peace and calm here, like watching the sun rise in the desert before the blistering heat of the day settled in and everything was still and quiet. 

He moved to the center of the tree and saw the books on a simple shelf. They were old and looked like they were hand bound. How else could they have been made when they were not uniform in appearance. Several different sizes and every spine a different color and some in different styles. Kylo reaches out for a larger volume in the center.

“How did you find this place?”

Kylo jumped at Luke’s sudden question. He hadn’t realized that the older man had followed him here. He turned to face his uncle. “I just followed the Force...”

“You’ve seen it before though. Haven’t you?” Luke was watching him intensely. 

“I used to dream about it. About the island. About this tree. These books.” Kylo looked around at it all again; half expecting to wake up back in the sands of Jakku.

Luke moved passed him and gently picked up the book that Ben had been reaching for. “These are the original Jedi text. They’re what I came looking for here. Like me, they’re the last of the Jedi religion.” He opened the book to a random page and gingerly touched the artwork there. After a moment of silence, he looked back at Ben. “It’s time for that to end.”

“Why? The Galaxy needs Jedi. Mom said that you had been training me before.” Kylo wasn’t in the mood for riddles.

“I was. It was hubris that I thought I could restart the Jedi Order. I nearly got you killed. I did get the rest of my padawans killed... I will never train another Jedi.” Luke looked at him seriously.

“Then don’t train me. I just want my memories back. I barely remember you or my parents. Or Chewie. I don’t feel like I even know how I am. Don’t I deserve that at least?”

“You deserve a lot, Ben... many things I cannot give you.” Luke sighed and replaced the book back where it belonged. 

“Then I will just figure it out myself.” He was stubborn after all and usually a quick study. Here within his reach were all the secrets of the Force according to the original Jedi. If he couldn’t learn how to get his memories back with these books then there really was no hope for retrieving them.

Luke considered where Ben’s gaze fell on the Jedi texts. He himself had not been much of a student of the text... okay, he hadn’t even read them. Ben on the other hand had always been more studious than Luke. There would be no stoping him from reading the text. Luke would have to guard them constantly to keep Ben away from them. “All you want are your memories?”

“Yes. I don’t care about being a Jedi. I just want to know who I am.”

“Promise not to touch these books and we can start tomorrow. I will show you how to retrieve your memories.” Luke thought this would be the safest compromise. 

“What do you mean show me? Can’t you just undo whatever it is that you did to me?” Kylo didn’t want Luke playing games with him.

“I cannot. I can give you the tools you will need to unlock your own mind though.”

“Fine. I promise not to touch the books if you can show me how to get my memories back.” He held out his hand for Luke to shake. They were making a deal after all.

Luke shook his hand and motioned for him to leave the library. Kylo got the sense that this wasn’t what Luke wanted, but was him grasping at straws to make a compromise. “We’ll start tomorrow morning.”

The rest of the day passed much of the same way the last several had. Luke went about his daily routine, Kylo followed. That evening he returned to his hut and was getting his fire started for the night when he felt the Force connection to Kyra open once again. This time though she was busy speaking with someone. While her words were crystal clear, the other people speaking with her were muffled and harder to make out.

* * *

Rey’s day had been fairly uneventful. She had trained for a while to work out her stiff muscles. Which was a relief now that her injuries were nearly healed. Hux had them all waiting for his spy to report back on were the Resistance was headed, but there was no word as of yet. It seemed that they were comfortable just waiting out in deep space. It wasn’t until the evening that Rey’s almost peaceful day was interrupted by the call she had been expecting. 

Vicrul appeared first in the hologram, but she wasn’t foolish enough to believe that he was the only Knight of Ren present. As with all of the knights, she knew their helms better than their faces. She had learned to read body language for lack of facial expression with them. He was annoyed already with his arms crossed, but his shoulders drew back in shock at seeing her without her helmet. “Did I catch you at a bad time?” 

“Where’s her helm?” Cardo asked without coming into sight. She imagined that with his obsession of modifying his arm cannon and other armor that he thought she might be in need of his assistance to forge a new mask.

“Snoke bid me leave it for the time being.” Kyra explained as simply as possible. She tensed slightly when she heard that damned ringing in her ears and felt Kylo’s presence with her. He would have to wait to hurl insults at her for the moment. She kept her focus on the Knights and ignored the feeling of him standing behind her. If she hadn’t known any better she would believe that he had just stepped into the room with her. 

“Scar looks good though.” Ushar mused as he leaned into the holo to get a better look at her. Of course, he would think so. He loved inflicting as much pain as possible on his victims. He probably enjoyed the thought of her being in pain again.

“Pathetic.” Kuruk seemed to be further back from the rest of the group as the sniper usually was. 

“Ask her how she was beaten by a little boy!” Ap’lek wasn’t shown either, but she could imagine him leaning on his executioners ax and trying not a laugh. 

“Ask me yourself, Ap’lek. Or you do prefer to hide while you can?” She snapped. He often used smokescreens to conceal himself while attacking. She had learned to push her sensing with the Force to the limit fighting him. 

Ap’lek pulled Ushar back and stepped up next to Vicrul. “Forgive me, Kyra, but we’re confused about how a desert rat could land a strike on you. Let alone nearly take you down.”

“Yeah. If he’s that good of a fight maybe we should be looking for him.” Trudgen was always looking for a worthy opponent to collect from. His helmet and armor was scrapped together out of the pieces of armor, weapons, or clothing he had taken from those he killed. He had once told a twelve-year-old Rey that if he got to kill her that a plate from her training saber would make a fine addition to one of his greaves. 

“Let me put a blot from abowcaster in a weak point of your armor at close range and then we’ll see how well you all fair in a fight.” Rey didn’t bother mentioning that her opponent had also been twice her size. She had over come all of the Knights of Ren despite them being much bigger than her as well. “He might be new to using the Force, but he is stronger with it than all of you combined.” She tried to ignore the Kylo was shifting behind her. She wanted to turn to look at him, but it would look strange as she should be alone in her quarters. 

“Perhaps, Ap’lek is right. We should be finding this guy. Does he have any shadow in him?” Kuruk said louder this time. He had never liked Rey much. He thought their leader at the time, Ren, had been wasting time helping train her when she was younger. 

“Not sure. I wasn’t trying to get a feel for him at the time.” Rey gave a slight shrug.

“Who would have guessed that you found someone nearly as powerful as you wasting away in a desert.” Cardo chuckled. 

She thought for a moment about telling them what Kylo had unintentionally told her. That he was actually Ben Solo, the heir to the Skywalker legacy. The grandson of Darth Vader himself. Then she recalled that he had not told Luke about their connection. It felt like that would somehow be a betrayal. She owed him nothing and yet... she could not bring herself to reveal him. 

She glared at the two Knights that she could see. “Are you not still under my command? Leave the scavenger to me. You are all to stay in the Unknown Regions for now.”

“Yes, Kyra. Of course.” Vicrul nodded and there was a general mumble of agreement from the others. “Should you wish to let us fight in the Known regions, we are at your command.” With no further argument from the Knights, they ended the transmission. 

Rey sighed heavily and sat down once the transmission cut off. She had nearly forgotten that Kylo was there, but he started shifting around again. She looked up at him weary. “You can now lodge any complaints you wish.”

“Who were those men?” Kylo asked tentatively. 

“The Knights of Ren.”

“Ren. Like you? So they belong to you?” He sat down as well. It was odd to see him looking comfortable in her quarters. Almost as if he was a guest there. It was equally strange that he seemed curious and like he wanted to have an actual conversation rather than the verbal sparring they had done last time. Maybe he had seen too much from her call with the Knights...

“Yes and no. I took on the name Ren after their leader passed the command to me. They’re somewhat Force sensitive and are in-tune with the dark side. They only follow me because I am far stronger than them.” She wasn’t sure why she was explaining to him.

“So your whole name is fake.” He smirked a little.

“You’re one to talk about fake names.” She wanted him to call her by her real name again. Even if it was cocky as he had said it before or hateful or angry or any other emotion. It was a foolish thing to want, but that didn’t stop her from desiring it. 

Kylo leaned forward a little, his elbows rested on his knees. “You didn’t tell them about me... about Luke. That he’s my uncle.”

“No.”

“You don’t trust them anymore than I trust him.” He observed. 

She scoffed. “I have no reason to trust them. They believe in existing as they see fit. It suits them to listen to me now, but at any lasting sign of weakness they would turn on me.”

“If you’re so much stronger than them, how would that happen?” He really didn’t understand how power worked. 

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe scavenger nearly killing me?” She stared him down. “Here’s a lesson that Luke won’t teach you, power is like holding a poisonous snake. You can charm it for a while, but eventually it will be hungry or irritated and you’re always going to be the thing it bites.”

“Then why not let it go?” With that there connection broke and he was gotten just as unexpectedly as he had arrived. His words echoed in her mind even after he disappeared. How do you let go of an angry snake that was dropped on you? When it seemed like the only way to keep going was to pacify it as best she could. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed being able to use the Knights of Ren in more detail this time. I feel like they were painfully under used in this Trilogy. I would have liked to have seen them be more than just a boy band to stand behind Kylo and a decent fight scene for Ben at the end of his redemption arc, but hey, that’s what fanfic is for, right?


	9. Chapter Eight - Meanwhile With the Resistance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn wakes up and finds himself still in a war he’s not sure he wants to be a part of. Leia needs to find a new base for her Resistance. Han finds out his son is gone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, double update day. Yay. This is what was happening with the Resistance while Ben was arriving on Ahch-to. And the best part is no one has to go to Canto Bight!

Chapter 8 - Meanwhile with the Resistance

Finn was confused and lost. And leaking... He realized he was on a ship after he had fallen out of bed and gotten up again. It wasn’t a First Order ship at least. That much was clear to him. He guessed it was a Resistance ship. There were people in the hodgepodge clothes of the rebels running around the ship. All too busy or focused on their own tasks to bother stoping him as he walked around looking for someone he knew. He had to find out if Kylo was still alive. 

“Finn!” Poe can running up to him with BB-8 on his heels. 

“Poe!” He was relieved to see a familiar face. 

“Hey, let’s get you some clothes, I’m sure you have a lot of questions.” Poe wrapped an arm around Finn’s shoulder to guide him back to his quarters to grab a spare set of clothes. 

“Where’s Kylo?” That was the most important question on his mind. 

“Who’s Kylo...?”

“He means Ben.” BB-8 helpfully explained. 

“You mean Ben? Leia’s son?” Poe translated when it was clear that Finn didn’t speak droid.

“What? No. My friend. The one that helped me get BB-8 back here.” 

“Yeah. Oh, I guess he didn’t really know that before... right, anyways, your friend Kylo is really Ben Solo. Leia and Han’s long lost kid. Well, long assumed dead kid. Luke hid him on Jakku for some reason. He’s gone to find Luke with Chewie. Or at least that’s the second-hand word from BB-8.”

“R2 wouldn’t lie to me. Luke will train him to be a Jedi!”  BB-8 chirped excitedly. 

“Yeah, well, R2 also taught you every curse word you know too.” Poe said shaking his head. They arrived at where his things had been stored and he dug through his few belongings and tossed Finn some clothes. “I got your boots, but I figured you wouldn’t want your stormtrooper stuff back.”

“No, I don’t. Thanks.” Finn wrestled out of the medical gown and started getting dressed. He had always changed in front of the other troopers, so he didn’t think it was weird to change in front of Poe. 

Poe sort of awkwardly turned when Finn started changing. He certainly wasn’t shy... “So we destroyed Starkiller base. Han is healing up, too. From what I heard, Ben defeated Kyra Ren, no word yet if she survived or not.”

“If we won why are we on the run?” Finn sat down and pulled his boots on. 

“Ah, you noticed that. We won the battle, not the war. We still got a fight on our hands until the First Order is completely defeated. We came out of hiding to destroy Starkiller and they must have tracked us back to the base. So we have to find a new base and regroup.”

“Look, Poe, I appreciate everything. I even believe in what you’re doing, but I didn’t join this army. I don’t want you to think I’m something I’m not.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it.” Poe handed him back his jacket. “You’re right where you belong.” 

Finn looked down surprised to see the jacket that Poe had given him. He had even repaired the hole in the shoulder from where Kyra had stabbed him. He looked up at Poe in amazement. Poe felt little embarrassed at Finn’s openly emotional stare. No wonder they made Stormtroopers wear masks. Finn couldn’t hide anything without one. 

“I’m not much of a sewer, but hey, I was busy saving the entire fleet.” He patted Finn on the shoulder and headed out of the bunk room.

“Well, that was smooth.”  BB-8 chuckled as Poe passed. His master ignored his comment.

Finn shrugged on the jacket and quickly followed after Poe. “No, it’s fine. Thanks.”

* * *

Leia wished she was surprised when Han came bursting haphazardly onto the bridge of the command ship on his new metal legs. He was sweating and a bit pale. Probably a combination of over extending himself and the pain from being up on his feet too soon. 

Han pointed at Leia sharply. “Where is my ship? Your tact officer told me that the  _Falcon_ wasn’t accounted for onboard. I tried to get Chewie or Ben on the comms and they weren’t in range to respond.So where are they?”

“Ben wanted to go after Luke. So I let him. Chewie went with him to keep him safe.” Leia said matter-of-factly. 

“What do you mean, you let him go?! We just got him back.” Han was out of breath and using a console to keep himself propped up. 

“Sit down before you fall down.” Leia stood and nudged him toward her seat. Once Han was seated she continued. She was aware of that the command staff was listening to every word, but there were already rumors swirling about Ben throughout the Resistance. There was never going to be a chance to hide who he was. “Ben is an adult. As much as either of us would rather have a child back, he’s grown. I could have let him take the  _Falcon_ and sent Chewie with him or he could have stolen a fighter with no way of knowing how to get back to us. There was no third option. You’ve been in medical and haven’t really got a look at how badly he wanted to go after Luke. He survived on Jakku alone for 15 years, I don’t think that helped him be less stubborn than he was as a boy.”

Han folded his arms. He didn’t like that her logic made sense. Ben was their kid after all, even if he wasn’t much of a kid anymore, he would be just as stubborn as they are.“Can’t believe he didn’t at least say good-bye...”

“You were already on the transport and you would have tried to stop him. He’ll be back, Han. I know it.” Leia gave him such a look of certainty. 

After not listening to her about Ben still being alive all these years, he just couldn’t argue with her this time. He shrugged. “Alright, I guess I’ll hobble back down to medical. That stupid med droid said I wouldn’t even be able to stand.” He smirked up at Leia. 

She rolled her eyes. “See what I mean about stubborn?” She pulled up her sleeve a little showed Han the beacon. “So he can find his way back with ease this time.”

Han took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Should have known you would have a plan.”

“Well, I’m hoping you might be able to help with my next one. We need a new base.” Leia pulled up a navigational chart on the console they were at. “Some place hidden, but not completely off the map.”

He was surprised Leia wanted his help with anything, but maybe having Ben back made her a little more kindly disposed to him. Or maybe it was that he had lost his legs... He studied the map for a moment. “Well, Florrum has a pretty big compound that’s deserted now. Onaka started a slightly more legal transport service on Batuu. I would send people to check it out first though. Make sure no one else had the same idea. Ummm... hey, is there still that base on Dantooine?”

“I’m sure the buildings are still there, but it’s a known location for the old Rebellion. I don’t want to chose places that might be obvious to the First Order.” 

“I guess that means Yavin and Endor are out too.” Han folded his arms and leaned back in his chair as he looked at the map.

“I would prefer another forested area like those. Better cover and easier hiding.” 

“Gamorr might be a good option. It’s out of the way, but a trade route goes by there. Lots of forest. Or...” Han looked up at Leia meaningfully. “Ajan Kloss has a jungle that might work.”

“Ajan Kloss would be hard on the electronics, but it would be good in a pinch. We’re close to the old Crait mine system if we can’t find anything in a few days.” Leia sighed. “I’ll send scouts out to Gamorr and Florrum.”

“General Organa.” Poe said as he and Finn arrived. 

“Solo!” Finn was pleased to see Han up since the last he remembered the older man had his legs cut off. 

“Hey, kid. I see you’re up again too.”Han smiled at him. “They tell you about Ben?” 

“Yeah. Poe filled me in on everything. I can’t believe he’s your son...” Finn looked over the charts briefly. “Where exactly are we? How is Kylo... I mean Ben... going to find us?” 

Leia pulled her sleeve up and showed him the beacon. “He’ll be able to find us wherever we go.” 

“That’s pretty smart.”

She laughed. “This isn’t my first war, Finn. Are you planning on staying the Resistance?”

“I’m not sure what I want...” Finn admitted. “I would like to wait until Ben comes back...”

“I’ll look after him, General.” Poe said firmly. 

“He might not want that, Poe. I’ve got a mission for you.” Leia explained the need for them to go and scout the potential new bases. She knew Poe would know what to look for. The sort of places that would be easier to protect and hide in. Also, he was impulsive and impatient and she didn’t want him going stir crazy on the ship while they wait. Who knows what sort of trouble Poe would get himself into if he was left idle. 

Finn listened and then nodded. “I’ll go. I might be able to help. Give an outside look at everything.” 

“I’ll send another fighter with you too. I want to keep it a small team.” Leia was glad that Finn wanted to go. He had been a massive help with the Starkiller base. Now he might be able to tell them how to stay hidden from the First Order better. She wished that she could have found a deserter stormtrooper sooner. Finn has given them invaluable information and she hoped that he would decide to stay with the Resistance. Perhaps Poe would be able to recruit him properly while they were away. 

The young men dismissed themselves to get ready for the mission. Leia delegated the task of assign a third member to the scouting party to Admiral Akbar because she had the more daunting task of getting Han back to medical. She turned and looked down at him. “I can’t have you sleeping on my bridge, Han.”

“I’m not sleeping.” He was all ready to have a fight, but decided that it would be better to go. He had found out where Ben was and trusted Chewie with him. Even if he wasn’t sure he trusted Luke. He got back to his feet and took Leia’s arm. “I think I’m going to need a hand getting back.”

Leave it to Han to make choices that could still catch her off guard. “Alright, lets go.” She lead him off into the corridors of the ship. 

The walk back to medical was silent until they were within sight of the doors. “Leia, I... do you think Ben will forgive us...?” Han asked softly.

“You’re worried about everything we did wrong in his childhood and what that means when he gets his memories back?”

He had always hated that she was so intuitive. That’s the Force for you. “Yes. We...  _I_ wasn’t there for him like I should have been. The older he got the less I knew how to relate to him... I didn’t hang around like I should. That last fight we had...”

“I’m worried too. You weren’t the only one that let him down as a parent. It wasn’t all bad. You didn’t see how lost he looked the past few days... I couldn’t deny him the chance to get his memories back. The good and the bad.” Leia looked up at him with her big expressive eyes and he knew that she had also felt how lost their son was feeling. 

“I just wish there had been another way than going to Luke. He’s the one that started this.” Han huffed. 

“I know, but I’m sure that Luke had a reason for it. Maybe he saw a vision of the future? Like when he came for us on Bespin. I’m not sure, but he loved Ben. He wouldn’t have done this to us if it wasn’t completely necessary.” 

Han sat down heavily on his bed in medical. “I know you still want to think the best of him, but I haven’t gotten passed the he betrayed us part yet.” 

Leia nodded. “Perhaps Ben will come back with some answers to why Luke did this. Get some rest, Han.” She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. 

Han watched her turn to go and called to her just as she reached the door. “Leia, I’ve missed you.”

She looked over her shoulder at him, smiling softly. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope everyone enjoyed the double update. I didn’t get to Rose in this chapter, but she’ll be the next one.


	10. Chapter Nine - Searching

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is searching for his memories and the Resistance is searching for a new base.

Chapter 9- Searching

Kylo followed Luke up a different mountain this morning. The path was well worn, but he doubted it was from his uncle. From his day to day, it was as if Luke was avoiding the Force as much as he could. At the top of the mountain was a simple temple made into a cave that opened at the far end to overlook the sea. At the center was a pool of water, that when Kylo peered into it, had a mosaic of a person seated with their legs crossed in half black and half white. Perfectly balanced. Luke lead him passed the pool though and onto the ledge at the far end. There was a large flattop rock there.

Luke pointed at the rock. “Sit cross-legged looking out at the sea. This was an old place of meditation. Built to help center a Jedi with the Force. That’s not what you’re going to use it for.”

Kylo sat down in the center of the rock as he was told. “What am I going to do then?”

“You’re going to focus on your personal center. Cast your mind within yourself and not out.” He was firm on that. “Close your eyes and think of the core of yourself.”

Kylo shifted a little and then rested his arms on his legs. He took a deep breath and tried to concentrate. He listened to his breathing, felt the sun starting to warm him, and Luke poking him in the shoulder. “Five seconds in and your mind is already thinking about what’s around it and not what’s in you. Try again.” 

Again he closed his eyes and tried to look within him. “There’s nothing.” He said after a few moments. “I don’t see anything.”

“You’re not focused.” Luke paused for a moment. “You should be able to find the wall I made in your mind. Have you ever thought about something too hard and felt a pressure the built from back here?” He gently tapped Ben on the back of his head. 

“Yes.”

“That’s pushing you away from the block in your mind. There are cracks in it now. That’s why you remember some things. That’s why you can access the Force properly again.” 

This time Kylo tried focusing on those thoughts and questions that made his head hurt. Luke eventually walked back into the cave to let him focus. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, but his head was killing him after a while and his focus was shot. He opened his eyes and looked out at the sea to take a break. When he was ready to start again, he could not shake the feeling of the Force around him. His concentration slipped away from his innermost thoughts that ached from effort and into the world around him. The Force wanted to show him something. He let his mind go where the Force lead him. The balance of life and death, order and chaos, serenity and passion, and of Light and Dark. 

Luke sharply pulled Ben’s shoulder back. “What did I say about not casting your mind out?” 

Kylo blinked up at Luke shocked. “The Force pulled me away. It wanted me to see.” He was annoyed that Luke had stopped him even if he had been doing exactly what he wasn't suppose to be.

Luke frowned deeply. “Yes, it’s always came easily to you to see through the Force. Raw power. Don’t follow where the Force leads you while you’re trying to get your memories back. All you will get is what the Force wants of you and nothing that you want of it. You said you didn't want to be a Jedi, so don't play at being one. That's enough for today.” The hike back down the mountain was a silent one. Luke brooded and Kylo trailed after him.

* * *

Finn waited in the hanger bay while Poe was speaking with another officer to get them a small ship to take on the scouting mission. He hoped that Kylo was alright on his mission. He wasn’t really sure if it was a mission or not, but he knew it was important to his friend. He had been waiting a long time for his family. There was still so much that Finn didn’t know about him. At least he wouldn’t have to go back to Jakku now. That had to be a silver lining among all the complicated stuff, right? 

As for his own complicated mess, Finn still wasn’t sure what to do. Part of him wanted to just join up with the Resistance and take down the First Order. Pay them back from having taken him from his family. He couldn’t shake the feeling that there had to be more soldiers like him. Stormtroopers that didn’t want to fight for the First Order, but felt like they had no way out either. Could he really attack them without knowing what they were thinking under those helmets? It turned his stomach to think about it. 

He turned as someone approached him. A short woman that looked about his age with short black hair pulled back in a pony tail and dressed in rebel clothing came up to him. She had a small pack on her back and it looked like she had been crying. “Are you Finn?”

“Umm... yeah. Yeah, that’s me. I’m Finn.” He awkwardly put his hands on his hips. He never realized he didn’t know what to do with his hands unless he was holding a blaster until now.

“I’m Rose.” She managed a small, brief smile. “I’ve been assigned to go with you and Commander Dameron to scout the potential new bases.”

“Oh, of course. General Organa said she would be sending someone else. Are... are you okay?” Finn asked concerned as she wiped her eyes. 

“Oh, it’s just that I received some very sad news.” Her hand went up to the pendent on her necklace and she rubbed it. “My sister’s ship was shot down during the evacuation....”

“I’m so sorry.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. He had never had to comfort someone over a loss before.

“We just have to keep fighting, right? Or else more good people will die.” She took a deep breath and by the time that Poe came over she had pulled herself back together. “Commander Dameron, I’m Rose Tico reporting for the scouting mission.”

“Just Poe is fine.” Poe shook her hand. “Good to have some back up with us. I got us a ship, so let’s head out.” He lead the group and BB-8 back to the small, slightly dented light freighter. “I know it’s not much to look at, but that’s part of the point. Let’s us keep a low profile.”

“Are you sure it flies?” Finn asked unsure. 

“Trust me, if that old trash heap that Solo flies in can still get in the air than this certainly can. Besides, I’m piloting it, so no worries.” Poe reassured him. 

Rose spoke up as well. “Light freighters are known for being long lived ships and being able to take some knocks.”

“See?” Poe grinned. “You know you’re ships.” 

“I spent some time in engineering.” Rose explained. 

_ “Hopefully, we won’t need that. This thing does look like it might fall apart.”  _ BB-8 chimed in. 

“Hey, no worries, buddy. Remember?” Poe gave his droid an affectionate pat before taking a seat in the pilot’s chair. Once everyone was seated, he got the ship out of the dock and into open space. “Alright, looks like Leia wants us to check out Gamorr first.” He put in the coordinates and got them into lightspeed.

The flight to Gamorr was a long jump it would take them nearly 8 hours. Poe didn’t much care for dead air, so he told stories of stupid or crazy things that him and BB-8 had gotten themselves into. Finn didn’t exactly have any stories worth telling, other than him and Kylo escaping Jakku and breaking into Starkiller with Solo. Those were less stories and more recent events, so he was thankful that Poe was comfortable talking. Rose excused herself to get some sleep after awhile. She didn’t want to talk either and Finn could understand why with her finding out her sister died right before this mission. 

When they arrived on Gamorr, Poe found an out of the way place to land the ship in dense forest. “We want to avoid the locals here if we can help it.”

“I thought Gamorreans were supposed to be stupid...?” Finn asked. 

“They are, but they’re also violent. The clans here are usually fighting about something. So we want to avoid it. After all, we’re looking for a place to hide a fleet under their ugly snouts.” Poe gave a small shrug. He was messing with the comms equipment. “Huh. I can’t get a signal to send back to the  Raddis . I guess there’s some interference along the way?”

“We are a very long ways off. It would be a weak signal at best.” Rose offered. “We can always try again later.”

“Yeah. Best to do our job and report once we’re back out of the atmosphere here.” Poe agreed. “BB-8, can you get us a scan of the area?” The little droid plugged into a port on the ship and after a few moments projected a map of the area.“Alright, looks like there’s some farmland to the south and west we want to avoid.”

“Is this a cave system?” Finn pointed out a spot to the north near the base of a mountain. 

“Could be. It would be worth checking out. Good cover so long as nothing has made a home in there.” Poe nodded and had BB-8 mark it on the map. 

“Here might be good too.” Rose pointed out a spot further along the mountain that was completely surrounded by dense forest. “It doesn’t look like there are any Gamorrean settlements anywhere near there.” BB-8 marked that on the map as well. 

“Alright, looks like we have some hiking to do. We can scan the other side of the mountain once we get to the base to see if there are anymore potential area’s here before we move on. Let’s gear up and head out.” Poe was eager to get going.

The hike through the forest wasn’t the fastest way to get to their chosen locations, but it was the least likely to draw attention to their presence here. Finn actually enjoyed the time in the woods. They were peaceful and full of life. They saw some animals along the way, but luckily no sign of the pig-like Gamorreans. They decided to make camp some time before sunset since it was clear they weren’t making it to the mountains tonight. Rose and BB-8 stayed in the clearing they had found to set up the campwhile Finn and Poe went to get firewood. 

“She’s a ray of sunshine, isn’t she?” Poe said as they gathered sticks. 

Finn squirmed a little. “She said her sister died in the evacuation. I can’t blame her for being withdrawn.”  
  


Poe looked ashamed. “I guess

I didn’t even think of that. I didn’t even get a head count before we left...” He paused. “Sometimes it’s easier to not think about things like that... you know? Just keep moving forward until it’s over... Every battle there are losses and...”

“And if you stop to think about how many you’ve lost you’ll stop moving and then you’re the next number in the troops lost count for the day.” Finn finished. “It’s weird that it’s like that here too... your leaders seem to care though. They’re in as much danger as you are. They’re not staying on the bridge and giving orders like it’s a damn Dejarik board and not living people.”

“Yeah. We’re always trying to keep that as many of us safe as we can.” Poe came over and put a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not just a number anymore, Finn.” 

Finn nodded. “I know. Just, go easy on Rose, okay?”

“Of course. I guess that explains why she volunteered for this mission. She doesn’t seem like the type for recon work.” 

After they had gathered enough wood they headed back to camp. The air seemed less tense now that Poe knew why Rose was being standoffish. Poe got a fire going as the sun started to set. Finn wanted to help, but he didn’t know anything about starting a fire. Survival skills weren’t exactly some thing that was useful for a Stormtrooper to know. BB-8 has been impressively helpful with getting the fire going. Poe had arranged the pile of sticks and then BB-8 had used his torch to set the smaller starter pieces on fire. Dinner was only rations, but no one was complaining. A full stomach was a full stomach. They settled into their bedrolls fairly early and left BB-8 to keep guard while they slept. 

The next two days were full of hiking. They still hadn’t seen any of the locals luckily. This part of the forest must really be out of the way for them. Rose had started opening up more. Be it because she was getting used to Finn and Poe or just to distract herself from the loss of her sister, they weren’t sure. She was nice, even a little funny when she let herself be, and she admired Finn for what he had done with leaving the First Order. 

When they had finally reached the cave the opening was massive. Two rancor could have easily walked through side by side. BB-8 let out a low whistle as the little droid looked up at the entrance. 

Finn took one look at the mouth of the cave. “I have a bad feeling about this....”

* * *

Strange dreams had plagued Kylo all night long. The first had been about the Knights of Ren attacking a villiage that was in bare rock mountains. He had not seen Kyra's small form and sleek mask among them for the attack. There was no reason that he could figure out to destroy this village and all of its people, but the Knights has done just that. He wasn't sure if this had just been a dream because of his talk with Kyra or if he had seen some event from the past, present, or future. Kylo stared at the top of his hut until he drifted back to sleep. 

The next dream was of a young Luke running and climbing through a swamp with a weird little green creature on his back telling him about the Force. The Light and Dark side. Luke had asked if the Dark side was stronger, only to be told that it was easier and more seductive. This he had been certain was a glimpse of the past during Luke's training. Kylo only realized after he woke up that he recognized the voice and way Master Yoda spoke from his vision in Maz's cellar.

The thrid dream was pleasant, but confusing. A man that looked about his age was sitting on a grassy hill outside of a small city or complex, Kylo wasn't sure. His shoulders were tense as he stared off at the horizon and he was so focused on his own thoughts that he didn't notice when a woman appoarched in old style Jedi combat robes. He finally looked at her when she sat down next to him. "Hello, Bastlia. I thought the council wanted us seperated until my training was complete?"

"It will be complete tomorrow. I..." She paused as if trying to figure out how to explain why she had disobeyed.

"It's the dreams, isn't it? I know you've been having the same one about the ancient temple here on Dantooie. It's calling to me." He stood and sighed. "I feel like I've done this all before. The training. The temple. I don't know if its just because of our connection and the dreams or not."

"I don't know, but I feel it too." She stood as well. "Perhaps its the planet as well. There is a Kyber crystal cave here. Its connection to the Force is very strong. It might be influencing us. Its why the Jedi temple was built here."

He shrugged and was silent for a moment. "The council thinks our connection is wrong. It goes against the Jedi teachings." He looked down at her seriously. "Do you think its wrong?" Bastlia didn't answer. "I just want an honest opinion. It doesn't feel wrong to me. It feels like it was meant to be."

She finally nodded. "I think its as the Force wills it. How can it be wrong if this is what the Force believes we need?" 

The man smiled at her. The calm and bright field gave way to darkness as Kylo's dream suddenly shifted to a different one. He knew the cold and dark cavern he now saw, but not from his own experience. This was the strange dark planet he had seen in Kyra’s mind. 

Sure enough, he saw a girl that looked very much like Kyra, only much younger. About 12 cycles, he thought. She was fighting a man in plain black clothing with a smaller lightsaber that was much simpler than the one she now had. It was an intense battle, but her skills prevailed. Her opponent knelt in front of her with her saber at his throat. 

“Good, good, Kyra. Your skills are improving.” The speaker sounded like an older and sickly man, but Kylo could not see him in the surrounding shadows. “Now finish him.”

Kyra looked toward where the man must be and glared. “No.”

“He is of no further use for your training. Kill him.” The man ordered. Even without being able to see him, Kylo could hear the frustration in his voice and building angry that Kyra had refused. 

“No.” A simple and firm word. Her eyes held a fire in them. So different than the weary look that Kylo had seen in her now. She dropped her lightsaber to the ground. 

“You still have not learned your lesson about stubbornness.” A moment later a bolt of blue lightening sprang from nothing and stuck Kyra squarely in the chest. She screamed and twisted in pain until the lightening stopped. She curled into a ball on the ground for a few moments, but then got back to her feet breathing hard; fire still in her eyes. "Kill him."

She looked down at the man that was still on his knees next to her. He seemed to accept and almost welcome his fate. She glared at the shadows again. "No." A second blot of lightening stuck her. 

Kylo woke up in a cold sweat with Kyra's screams of pain still ringing in his ears. He gave up on sleep after that. He dressed for the day and went out of his hut to watch the sunrise over the sea. The peace of the island slowly helped him regain his own. As the soft light rose out of the water and bathed the island in a gentle yellow light, he concluded that all his dreams had been of past events. Kylo glumly thought that the Force must have a sense of humor. It was happy to freely show him many people's past, but not his own. 

The ringing in his ears signaled that he wasn't alone anymore. Kyra was sitting next to him on the stone steps, but her posture suggested that her back was leaning again a wall. Her hair was loose for once rather than tied back and the only thing that made it look like she wasn't really there with him was that the sunlight didn't catch it. Despite sitting next to him in the sun, she was still in darkness. He was oddly relieved to not be alone. Even stranger, he was glad to see that she wasn’t in pain like his dream. He shouldn’t care if his enemy is in pain or not. 

“Trouble sleeping?” She asked after a moment. He nodded. “Yeah, me too.”

“I had weird dreams.” He paused. “Visions of the past, but not my past.”

She didn’t look shocked. More like she understood. “I did as well.”

In the still of the morning, Kylo told her about his dreams. She explained that the villiage he had seen was one that the Knights of Ren had attacked before they came to train her. "They were bragging about it when they arrived. Ushar said that rather than face him, one of the men jumped off a cliff at the edge of the village." She agreed that he had seen a part of Luke's own Jedi training. The part that really took Kylo aback was that she actually smiled when he told her about the dream in the grassy field on Dantooie. "I'm not surprised that you dreamed about Revan. He had his memories striped from him as well."

"What happened?" Kylo actually leaned closer to her, eager to hear an explanation for his crazy dream of the past. She told him the tale of Revan and Bastlia. He had not heard her be so animated about anything. Even when she delivered threats and defended herself, she didn't show as much emotion as she did telling him about an ancient Jedi and Sith. This was clearly a story that was dear to her. She was blushing a little by the end of it, he realized it was because of how he was staring at her. "That's some story."

She cleared her throat and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Is that all you dreamed about?"

"Oh... no..." Kylo suddenly didn't want to tell her about his dream of her past. He took a breath and told her though. It seemed fair since he felt like it was almost spying on her past. 

"My first kill." She sighed and looked away from him. Any embarrassment that remained from having let her guard down while she talked about Revan was gone now. 

"I didn't see you kill him though..."

"How many times do you think I said no?" She asked calmly. Kylo realized in that moment that some monsters aren't born. They were created.

He thought of her screams. "Too many..."

  
"Not enough." She didn't want to be a monster. They sat in silence for a few long moments. "I dreamed about you too... About you salvaging a droid from a crash site. The man you worked for slapped you around because he said it was useless, but you repaired it." She actually sounded impressed. 

"I did. I've always been good at fixing broken things." He was glad to have the conversation on something else now though. He looked back out of the water and suddenly the pressure of having her presence next to him was gone. For the first time since the Force had started connecting them, he wished that it would last longer. He picked himself up though and headed back up the hill to the settlement. Luke would be up soon and he had a headache to work on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I know the set up for Finn, Poe, and Rose was a little dry this chapter, but it will be more fun next time. :) I’m having a lot of fun with building up Ben and Rey’s relationship more, so I hope everyone else is too!


	11. Chapter Ten - Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn, Poe, and Rose discover a lot of trouble, while Kylo is finally starting to discover his past. And Rey discovers that Kylo is shredded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m having an easier time writing Ben and Rey’s parts of this. I wanted this to be a bit of a trilogy fix fic, but let’s face it. It’s mostly Reylo and I’m okay with that. Lol. I hope the Finn, Poe, and Rose sections are at least better than what they were in the Last Jedi since that’s my goal with them. Anyways, let me know what you guys think. Enjoy!

Chapter 10 - Discovery 

The cave was still massive even passed the entrance. Poe and BB-8 lead the way inside, with Finn and Rose close behind. The air was moist, but there was no water dripping down and no source of water inside the cave as far as Poe could tell. The ground sloped gently downwards so that they could just walk it and didn’t have to climb yet. He wished they had moved the ship closer so BB-8 could have gotten a scan of the cave system. Hopefully, this wouldn’t pan out as a possible location for the Resistance. Poe didn’t really like the idea of being underground for long periods. 

“This place gives me the creeps.” Finn felt a little jumpy. He was used to well lite stations and ships, not cold damp caverns that he couldn’t see far in. He surprised himself when he suddenly wanted his stormtrooper helmet back and a night lense to be able to see more than what the flashlight allowed. He didn’t think he would ever want his helmet back for any reason.

“You can say that again...” Rose mumbled. “Poe, does being generally freaked out at all times while here not rule this place out as a base?” 

“We need to at least check it out. It’s big enough to hide fighters in it so far. Might be a good options once we get used to it.” Poe held his arms out for a few steps to showcase all the extra room the cave had. 

BB-8 chirped nervously.  _“Lots of room to hide other things too... like monsters.”_

“I’m not sure what he said, but I have a feeling I would agree.” Finn wondered if it was too late to learn droid or to just turn back and leave this cave. He would settle for just leaving the cave. 

“Hey, no worries, both of you.” Poe’s comment would have been more reassuring if a strange clicking noise hadn’t started a few moments later. 

The clicking against the stones echoed off the cave walls and made it impossible to tell where whatever was making the sound was coming from. The group huddle together behind Poe and cast their lights around trying to get a look at the person or creature that was in the cave with them. The clicking became faster or perhaps there was just more than one thing in the cave... Finn fumbled a little, but got his rifle off of his back and into his hands ready to fire. Poe and Rose also drew their pistols. BB-8 extended his shock probe since it was really his best defense. Just as suddenly as the clicking had started, it stopped. 

“Can we leave the cave now...?” Finn whispered. 

“I second that.” Rose added softly. 

Poe nodded. “Yeah, I think I’ve seen enough to rule this place out.” He motioned for the others to move first as he kept his eyes trained on the darkness further into the cave.

Finn and Rose nodded and turned to go. They had only made it a few feet from Poe when they heard his cry out in pain. Finn turned and lifted his blaster at the ready. Rose held her light aloft to try and see what had happened. BB-8 was blaring like an alarm, but there was no sign of Poe. 

“Poe!” Finn called into the darkness. No answer. “We have to go after him.” 

Rose looked uncertain, but nodded. “There’s no blood... he’s might have just fallen...?” The skepticism was clear in her voice. Even if she didn’t believe that’s what happened, she was still willing to look for the commander. 

BB-8 lead the charge after Poe. It was hard to tell how much deeper they went into the cave, but after a few minutes they came across Poe lying unconscious on the ground. Finn knelt down next to him and checked his pulse. “He’s still alive!” 

“Umm... Finn... think we’re in trouble...” Rose was not looking at Finn, but in front of them. 

Finn torn his attention away from Poe to see what Rose was concerned about. They were surrounded by a reptilian species with skin that looked like the rock walls here in the cave. Their large clawed feet must have been making the clicking sounds they had heard from before. While their faces did not have a nose, they did have flared spikes covering their heads and long tails. Large dark eyes stared at them unblinkingly. Each one carried a wicked looking spear that was decorated with markings and small pieces that hung off of the shaft. Blasters or not, Finn quickly realized that they weren’t going to be able to fight their way out and get Poe out with them. There was nothing to do expect hope that these lizards would let them go... that didn’t seems likely though. 

* * *

After another frustrating day, Ben had nothing to show for his efforts except a headache as he had predicted. He sat on that damned rock for hours looking inside himself and there was nothing.The Force seemed to be taunting him to look beyond himself. Any slip that he had was effortless to look out at the island. He felt like he could count every porg, rock, and blade of grass before he could make any progress on his memory. 

Luke was the same level of help as he had been the day before. Kylo wondered if perhaps he was just an awful teacher and this was why the new Jedi Order had failed. If he said “focus” or “look within” or “do not follow where the Force leads” one more time, Kylo thought he was going to scream! Maybe it was Luke’s goal to annoy him out of wanting his memories back? If that was the case, than Luke didn’t know him at all. Kylo had grown up in a far more frustrating situation than this thanks to him. Jakku had thought him how to stubborn his way through any hardship. 

Kylo decided that some distance between him and Luke would be a good thing until tomorrow. He headed up the mountain with the fresh water stream. While he didn’t need water currently, it felt good to be moving. It was not normal for him to just sit physically idle for that long and he muscles felt cramped. The sun had shined all day today and while it was no where near the temperature that Jakku could reach, it was still hot. Especially after his long, fast paced hike up the mountain. He drank some of the water while he caught his breath. Then decided that it had been long enough since the last time he had a bath. Besides, it was hot and there was no one around. He removed his clothes and left them on the bank where they would stay dry before wading out into the water. 

The stream was colder than he had originally thought, but it was still pleasant. Even at the deepest part of the small river it only came to his waist, so no concern since he couldn’t swim. He dunked down andrinsed his hair as well. He had just about finished when a familiar ringing started in his ears. Seriously, the Force must have a damn sense of humor! 

Rey looked puzzled and even a little concerned as she looked down at Kylo. “Why can I only see half of you?”

Kylo looked down at himself and then smirked back at her. “Why do you want to see more?”

She flushed. “I meant why does it look like you’re cut in half...?” Her eyes widened after a moment as it dawned on her what he must be doing. The sound of a river was as clear as the sounds of the sea or the rain had been. She managed to smooth her features back out, but her cheeks were still pink with shame. “Oh... so you do know how to bathe.”

“You try keeping the sand off in a desert. It’s basically impossible.” Kylo chuckled. “It’s much easier here.” 

She stood at attention with her hands clasp behind her, unsure of where to look at the moment. What was impossible to her was to not notice his muscles. Naturally, she had known he was fit and decently strong from simple observation and their fight. This was in far more detail than she was expecting to ever see him. It made her think of some of the famous sculptures that her grandfather had made her study during her culture lessons. She didn’t think that real people were suppose to resemble art to this degree... 

“Its alright. I know you don’t control this anymore than I do.” Kylo reassured her. He never thought of himself as being vain before, but he was pleased that she liked what she saw of him. After his dreams and their talk afterwards, he was starting to think that he had been wrong. She wasn’t just Kyra, a monster willing to cut down anyone in her path. Rey was still in her. It was just a matter of if she could return completely. Not just the little glimpses that he had seen. “I’m trying to get my memories back...”

“You are?” She was mildly shocked. Rey had thought once Luke started training him the focus would be on combat and the general ways of theJedi. “How is it going...?” He had brought the topic up, so it seemed like she was allowed to ask about it. 

“Not well. I wish it was like the story you told me about Revan. That it all came flooding back as soon as I knew.”

“Are you sure you want to be Ben Solo again?” She sat down on the ground cross legged.

“Of course, I want my memories back.” He knew he sounded more defensive than he meant to. 

“That’s not exactly the same thing. Ben Solo will have many expectations on him. The Skywalker legacy to uphold. A famous smuggler father as well. Heroes on both sides of his family and people looking to him to see what he will do to continue that line. Kylo of Jakku is no one from nowhere. No one is looking to see what you will do. No expectations. No pressure.” She envied that ability. 

Kylo stared at her for a long moment of silence. “Could you turn around?” He decided this wasn’t a conversation to have when he was naked and waist deep in a stream. 

“Oh. Yes.” She was slightly flustered again, but did as he asked so he could get out of the water and retrieve his clothing. 

Once Kylo was dressed again, he sat down next to her. He was silent for a time, with both of them staring at the river as they had the sea. Well, he stared at the river. He imagined she was either staring at a wall or out into the stars.It was strange to him that she could look so real and still not be there. 

“I want my memories back.” He finally said. “I want to know who I am. Regardless of if that means I’m going to have the whole galaxy staring at me to do a Force trick or something. I feel like... I’m not complete.” He thought finding his family would make him feel whole, but it didn’t. 

Rey looked up at him. That last comment stuck her. She had never felt complete. “How are you meditating? Will you show me?” 

“Alright.” He pulled his legs up into a crossed position like he did on the rock, closed his eyes, and focused inward. After a few moments he felt Kyra at the edges of his mind asking permission to go further. He didn’t fight her this time. He could feel her intent more clearly than when she had been trying to draw the map out of his mind. She did not mean him any harm. Quite the opposite, she wanted to help him and show him something. He followed where she led him to a wall in his mind. Kyra suddenly disappeared from his mind, but the wall was still very plainly there. As if she had made it light up in his mind. He opened his eyes after a few more minutes of examining the wall. There were indeed cracks there as Luke had said there would be. He felt that he would be able to get back to this place in his mind again now. He stared down at Kyra in amazement. “How did you do that?”

“I’ve been doing mental exercises since I was a child. I can usually navigate a mind that isn’t my own easily... with a few exceptions. I just showed you the way. I’m sure you will be able to get what you want now.” The way she said it seemed more like an apology. She felt that she owed this to him. Perhaps it was the best amends she could offer up for what she had done to him. 

Kylo nodded in acceptance. “I think I will be able to find my way going forward.”

“So... is this something we do now...?” Rey asked timidly after another relaxed silence. 

“What do you mean?”

“Talk to each other like we think the other one is a person?” She looked up at him seriously. She didn’t want him to mistake this for a joke.

Kylo smiled a little. “Yeah. I guess this is something we do now.” 

* * *

The lizards had lead them deep into the cave. Finn and Rose half carried and half dragged Poe with them. Each had one of his arms around their shoulders, but they were both shorter than him and dragging his feet had been the best option they had. BB-8 followed nervously behind them. Their captors spoke back and forth to each other in hisses and clicks that they had no way to know what their words meant. Finn wasn’t hopeful that they were saying nice or helpful things about them. His concerns became very real as they arrived back at what must be the lizards strong hold. 

Carved into the stone in an even larger cavern were what looked like living quarters. In the center of the cave was a large communal fire pit that a Gamorrean was being roasted on a spit. A cheer, if you can call the hissing that, came up when their party arrived back. Hundreds of the lizards in varying sizes were all over the area. They all seemed to be doing their daily routines: cooking, cleaning, training with the spears, or making the weapons. Finn and the others were lead into a small cell at the far end of the the cavern. The lizards had no use for the blasters they had taken from them, so they were tossed in a pile with Gamorrean weapons that had been discarded. They had allowed them to keep their lights though. 

Rose helped lower Poe to the ground. “Is it just me or does this feel like an animal pin...?” 

“I think we might be on the menu tomorrow...” Finn looked out at the smoke from the fire pit. “We need to find a way to escape.”

_“Is Poe going to be okay???”_ BB-8 sat close to his master and looked in between Rose and Finn. 

Rose looked at Finn. “I don’t speak droid...” She admitted embarrassed. 

_“You got to be joking! Neither of you idiots can understand me?!”_ BB-8 beeped annoyed. 

Finn just shrugged a little. “I don’t either...” He looked at BB-8 though and said, “I’m sure Poe will be up soon...” At least he really hoped so.

Rose and Finn watched the lizard people move around. For the most part they ignored them. The cage they were in was sturdy and the lock was an old physical one that required a key, so BB-8 wouldn’t be able to hack it. These creatures were clearly not very advanced with technology, even if they were clever.They had no way of knowing how long it was, but it seemed like hours before a gong sounded and all the lizard people moved toward the center of their settlement. 

“Dinner time...” Rose mumbled. “If only we could get the lock open we could make a break for it.”

Poe finally started to stir, but it was slow going. BB-8 started chirping excitedly, but Poe just patted him a little to quiet him down. Finn came over to check on him and was concerned that he still seemed sluggish. “Poe, what happened?”

“Big reptiles... Never seen ‘em before.... Hit me with.... a dart...? Not sure.... Drugged.” It took a lot of effort for Poe to explain. He shook his head as if they would clear the fog he was still in. He had to have Finn’s help to sit up. “Where are we...?”

“Further into the caves. We got captured by them.” Finn helped support Poe. 

“And we need to get out of here as soon as possible. We think they’re going to eat us...” Rose explained. She was examining the lock while Finn was checking on Poe. “Hey, does your astromech have a torch welder attachment?”

_“Of course, I do!”_ BB-8 beeped offended. Poe gave a weak thumbs up to translate. 

“I think he could use it to break the lock. We’re going to need to be able to run though...” She said nervously. It didn’t look like Poe would be able to really move on his own for a while longer. They might miss their chance to escape. 

Poe motioned for Finn to help him up. To his credit, he was able to stand while leaning heavily on Finn. “I can make it.” He speech was starting to clear as his head became less fogged. “It’s wearing off.”

“Are you sure?” Finn was concerned for him still. 

“Don’t really have a choice, do we?” Poe nodded to BB-8. “Pop the lock, buddy.”

BB-8 rolled up to the cell door. It took some help from Rose to aim it just right, but he was able to get his blow torch into position to cut through the lock. The material was rudimentary metal working and only took a few moments to cut through. It was fortunate that these lizards didn’t have a more advance way of fashioning metal. 

Rose pushed the door open and led the way out of the cell. She went over to the weapons pile and grabbed their blasters as well as a sonic grenade that was on top. Finn was still helping support Poe, but they had made it out of the cage and were headed toward a tunnel that opened up to their right. Rose placed the strap to Finn’s blaster over his shoulder so he would have access to it while still helping Poe with his other arm. She handed Poe his pistol, but he placed it back into its hostler. He wouldn’t be much use with holding his arm up to aim just yet. BB-8 stuck close behind Poe and Finn; not wanting to be far from his master. 

“Shouldn’t we be retracing our way back to the surface?” Rose didn’t like the idea of getting lost and recaptured. 

Finn shook his head. “There has to be another way out and if we go up the main tunnel, we would have to sneak across the whole village.”

“You sure about this way though?” Poe trusted Finn’s judgement, but this was a big gamble. 

“I have a feeling this is the right way to go.” Finn wasn’t sure how else to describe it. It was the same type of feeling he got when he just did some thing and it worked out in the end. More than an instinct. As if something was leading him to make the right choice. The others stared at him for a moment, but with no better plan, they pressed on into the darkness with their lights as the only source to see by. 

Finn led them through several turns until they came to a massive tunnel the slanted slightly upwards. They headed back toward the surface as fast as they could. Poe was able to stand and walk on his own, but he was still not up to full speed yet. They had made it to where they could see the light of the cave entrance in the distance when they heard the clicking start behind them again. Finn fired a couple of blaster shots into the dark and heard a hiss of pain from one of the lizards. 

Rose pulled out the sonic bomb and yelled to the others. “Get ready to run!” She threw it as far as she could toward the ceiling before turning to run as well. 

They raced along the tunnel for a few second before the bomb explored behind them. The ceiling of the tunnel started to collapse behind them. The cracks from the blast quickly spread and the whole ceiling started to fall. BB-8 dodged and rolled as fast as he could, with Rose at his side. Finn had grabbed Poe’s hand and was helping drag him along faster to escape the falling rocks. The men made a daring leap at the cave entrance to prevent getting crushed. They lay on the ground still tightly holding onto the other’s hand as they caught their breath. 

Rose sighed once she had caught her breath. “So... can we agree this isn’t the planet for the Resistance?”

“Yes!” Finn and Poe huffed out at the same time.

* * *

The next time Kylo was stuck on the rock that over looked the sea at the top of the mountain, he knew exactly what to do. Rey had shown him the way to the wall blocking off his memories. He was nervous, but determined as he started to pull down the barrier in his mind. It was slow going at first. Like picking his way through a complicated part of a crash site. Gradually, the wall started to disappear and as it did his memories started coming back to him. 

At first it was little things. His favorite toy had been a x-wing model he used to float around with the Force. That he would run to Chewie if he was in trouble with either of his parents when he was very young. The first time he ever used the Force to grab something that an adult had actually notice was a cookie jar. He had to take more breaks from his meditation as he continued to dismantle the wall. About every hour he would have to stop to give his mind a bit of a rest. Luke had taken notice that something had changed. 

“You’re starting to get some things, aren’t you?” Luke seemed uneasy about that. 

“I am. Not much yet, but it’s progress finally.” Kylo was pleased. This is what he wanted after all. 

Luke nodded. “Take as much time as you need.” 

Kylo returned to the meditation rock and continued his slow picking at the hole in the wall. At some point in the afternoon, he must have picked the right part of wall to remove or perhaps he had been forcing the progress along too much because he was hit with a cascade of memories. He might have wished yesterday that everything would just come flooding back to him, but at the moment he felt like he was drowning in memory. 

Han and Leia fighting was the prodominate theme. They fought about everything! Food, money, Ben, politics, where to live, how clean to keep the house, when Han left, when Leia got home late, you let Ben fly the  Falcon , Chewie shedding, how long Han had been gone, Leia working too much, C-3PO’s nagging, Ben needs to be around more kids his age, smuggling, docking fees, breakfast, dinner, Ben needs training, Ben is too young to be left alone, you left Ben at a spaceport (how could you forget he was with you?!), Ben broke something with the Force again (how is that my fault?!), this school isn’t challenging enough for Ben, how could you not think about Ben?! As happy as his parents had seemed about having him back, that certainly seemed like they fought about him the most....

With these regained memories came emotions that he wasn’t prepared for. How had he not realized that this wouldn’t be like reading a manual? Memories had feelings tied to them. At the moment he felt the pain of a child that believed he was ripping his parents apart. That if only he could be better then they wouldn’t have to fight about him. Or perhaps it would have been better if they hadn’t had him at all? Is that what they wanted? As much as they fought they must have regretted having him. 

Despite his earlier caution about taking breaks when his head started to hurt, Ben pushed forward. He had to know if that was true. Had his parents ever just been happy about having a child? The next round of memories were dull and lack luster. All of Han and Leia’s fighting had been in livid color like he had just seen all of those fights back to back in real time. He was remembering happier things now, but they seemed old. A picnic they had taken as a family, there had been no yelling that day. More times he had worked on the  Falcon with Han and Chewie. How excited he was to have Luke visit and see what Jedi artifact he had dug up from the past. Chewie carried him around on his shoulders. Ben proudly showed Luke some complex wiring on a droid circuit he had rebuilt and enjoying his uncle’s praise. Leia read him bedtime stories. Han helped him dressed for school. His childhood hadn’t been all bad, but why were his happy memories muted? 

Ben felt exhausted and his mind felt raw like it had after those visions he had seen in Maz’s cellar. He still wanted more answers, so kept tearing down the wall in his mind. Next came loneliness that was intense. He thought he knew how being alone felt from his time on Jakku, but this was different. More painful. He had been left alone a lot as a child. Or without people would be a better way to put it. There were droids to make sure his physical needs were met, but his parents were off at their jobs. Leia was home every night, but she was tired and late to get back a lot of the time. Han was there sporadically. Sometimes he would be there for weeks, sometimes hours, some not at all. Luke was rarely there. Ben had trouble connecting with the other children at school. They found him strange. He remembered the not so quiet whispers about who his parents and uncle were. 

Ben’s eyes snapped open as he fell off of the rock. His reaction time had just barely been fast enough to prevent him from falling off the side of the ledge. Luke came hurrying out of the cave to check on him. He took his arm and let the older man lead him back into the temple. They sat down beside the pool with the mosaic inside. Luke let him sit in silence for a time. Ben realized as that it was much later than he had been expecting it to be. The sun was setting and the day was done. What he thought had been just a few hours of him meditating had been the rest of the day and longer than he usually tried to get his memories back. 

“You pushes your limits today.” Luke offered him the canteen of water that Ben had brought with him that morning. He drank greedily as he realized how thirsty was. “Are you getting the answers you seek?”

“Yes. Sort of. I...” He was suddenly concerned that Luke would think he was crazy if he told him, but decided to anyways. Maybe Luke would have some idea why his memories came in clear and faded. “Some of my memories are sharper than others. It’s like anything bad or sad that happened to me is easier to recall. Happy moments are dull. Like I struggle to hang onto them as fully. My memories on Jakku aren’t like that. They all have the same quality to them.”

“You’re getting to the heart of the problem.” Luke sighed and looked ashamed. 

“You said you did this for my protection. What did you mean?”

Luke shifted uncomfortably. “It’s why you’re memories seem to highlight the bad experiences. Does it feel like someone else has been on your mind before?”

Ben scoffed. “Of course, it does. I’m starting to worry that my mind is a popular place to be.” Kyra had been in there. Luke had been in his head as well, but now he was concerned that someone else had been there without him knowing. 

“When you were a boy a Sith started to corrupt your mind. I’m not sure when it started, but I realized what was happening during your training. I should have noticed sooner. Perhaps I could have spared you all this pain... I could not free your mind myself. So I did the only thing I could do. Make the Sith believe that you were dead. Hide you where no one would look. Seal your mind to prevent you from accessing your memory or much of the Force.” Luke paused for a moment, his voice was pained with shame when he continued, “The temple was attacked while I was taking you to Jakku. I traded the lives of my students to protect my own family... I failed as a Jedi Master. After I told my lies to Han and Leia, I went into exile. I could not bare the thought of taking more students after I had sacrificed my first ones. And here you are. I failed to keep you safe despite it all.” He hung his head, but it was time for Ben to know the truth. 

“They were killed because of me...” Ben was shaking a little. He felt guilt that Luke had exchanged so many lives for his own. 

“No. They died because of my own failings, Ben, not yours. You were a child. If I had realized what was happening to you I could prevented all of this. I could have saved you the pain of being exiled to Jakku, I could have spared Leia and Han the pain of dealing with the death of a child, and I could have saved my students. You were young and I should have protected you.” If Luke could get him to understand one thing, this would be it.

Ben was silent for a long time. “Do you know who was attacking my mind?”

“I do not. I never found out more than what I knew that day. That someone using the Dark Side was turning you from inside your mind.” Luke shook his head. 

Ben stood and ran a hand through his hair. “I have a lot to think about... I think I’m done for the day.” 

Luke stood as well. “Of course. I’ll be around if there is anything else you want to discuss, Ben.”

He was half way back to his hut when realized that it longer felt strange or out of place to be called Ben. It simply felt like his name. Much of the wall in his mind was down now and he felt like Kylo had been just a shadow of himself. As if he had been missing critical pieces of the puzzle. Some of the parts of himself that he liked the most were largely Ben now. As much as he had been concerned about Ben never feeling like his name, it was seamless now. He was Ben Solo. Son of Leia Organa and Han Solo. And he felt like he was close to his goal of knowing who he was. He had a new question now though. Why had a Sith been messing with his mind when he was a child... Perhaps he would need to ask the Sith that was currently connected to when she showed up again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope everyone is staying safe during this crazy time in the world. Hopefully, a small fictional escape helped to distract from current concerns for a few minutes. I know writing has been helping me.


	12. Chapter Eleven - Shifting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things shift around, be it locations or ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is later than I had planned on it being, but work has been stressful lately. It’s not a great time to be in healthcare what with everything being crazy right. This chapter is also shorter than usual. With some luck, I’ll get some more time to write soon. Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy.

Chapter 11 - Shifting

The hike back to the ship was faster than the trip to the caverns had been. Everyone was eager to get off this planet now. Who knew that Gamorr would be a hostile planet even avoiding the usual locals? It was certainly not a place for the Resistance. Finn could have hugged the ship when they finally got back on board. He was looking forward to being safely back in space. It would be a miracle if he made it out of this mission without a fear of being on a planet. Nothing good had ever happened to him from being on a planet. Go kill some innocent people, FN-2187. Crash land on Jakku, nearly die of dehydration in the desert, and get into a dog fight with the First Order over a droid, Finn. Almost abandon your new friend only to have said friend get captured by the First Order, Finn. Then get into a lightsaber battle with Kyra Ren and just about get your spine cut in two while trying to recuse your friend, Finn. It’ll be fine, Finn! Its so funny that he forgot to laugh. He should have known a quick scouting mission to any planet would go poorly for him. So far the only good things that had happened to him on a planet were meeting Kylo and reuniting with Poe.

Poe’s first goal was to contact Leia. He put on a transmission to the main ship with the Resistance. After he gave the clearance code, it took a few minutes to get patched through to the general. “This is Commander Poe Dameron reporting in.”

“Where the hell have you been, Commander? I was debating to send a search party out for your team!” Leia snapped at him. 

“We ran into some trouble on Gamorr. Got captured by a local subterranean group of hostiles, but nothing we couldn’t handle. Gamorr is not a suitable place for a base though. Too many possible hostiles in the surrounding area’s of the planet. Even if they’re not with the First Order, General.” Poe summarized. 

Leia shook her head. Of course, Poe wouldn’t think much of getting captured even if it had been the First Order. Not like he hadn’t already done that and managed to escape! “Very well, Poe. Continue on to Florrum. And try to stay out of trouble.”

“I’ll do my best, General.” 

“I’ll be moving what’s left of the Resistance to Crait for now. I’ll contact you if we have to move again.” Leia ended the transmission. 

Poe turned to the others. “Alright, lets get this bucket of bolts in the air and on the way the Florrum.” 

* * *

  
Rey found her mind wandering again. It had happened a lot that day. She tried to tell herself that it was because Hux was droning on about getting a new recruitment of stormtroopers at the moment. It had always been a sore spot with her that the First Order stole children to grow their army. She had argued many times that a clone army would be more effective and more obedient. She was always over ruled by cost. It’s not as though she could scream what she actually felt about the matter. She had to keep up the appearance of Kyra Ren. At any rate, she wanted to believe that she was tuning out Hux because she hated this topic and not because she was thinking of young man with dark hair and eyes. 

Her enemy had become more as they spoke over their bond. She still had no concrete explanation for why the Force was linking them together. She had to admit she did enjoy the Force’s idea of timing though. Even if it had been strange to see Ben stuck half out of her floor... it hadn’t been a terrible view. She found herself thinking of his carved muscles and wet skin more times than she would be willing to tell. Rey had never experienced thoughts like these before. Usually all the men she was around were undesirable to say the least. Hux, for example, his slender, pale frame, red hair plastered to his skull, and tight lipped sneer did not capture her attention the way Ben did. 

The Force had connected them at least once a day for a while now, but not yet today.... she waited for that now familiar ringing in her ears, but each minute grew longer as the day wore on. Even if all his clothes would be on this time she still wished to see him. She could not recall a time when someone had a conversation with her the way Ben had the last few times that they had spoken. He had moved closer to her and watched with wrapped attention while she told the story of Bastilia and Revan. What’s more she had not been demanding his attention. He chose to engage with her and listened to the ancient tale. He had even allowed her back in his mind to show him what he had been looking for there. Perhaps it was a bit much to believe that he had started to trust her, but it did seem that he was at least being more opened minded about her. 

She leaned forward on the table to prop her elbow on the edge and rested her her chin on her gloved palm. Why wouldn’t Hux simply shut up? Or at the bare minimum, just have this conversation with Phasma alone? She didn’t need to be here for this. Finally, the ringing in her ears started and Ben appeared standing on the other side of the table between Hux and Phasma. As much as she had been wanting to see him, she was now wasting time she could use to talk with him trapped at this table with Hux still yammering on about kidnapping children to turn them into weapons. 

Ben seemed to notice that he had appeared in the mists of something. “Are you busy?” 

She yawned in response. It wasn’t as though she could start conversing with him without looking insane. 

“Sounds reverting.” He smirked. 

“Am I boring you, Ren?” Hux must have noticed the yawn because he was glaring at her now. 

“Yes. You are.” Rey rose from her seat and stared Hux down. This was the perfect escape for her. “I don’t see why this matter involves me. I have nothing to do with your potential traitors. I’m certain that you and Phasma could handle this matter without me.” She strode around the table and toward the exit, pleased that Ben was able to follow her. 

“Petulant child.” Hux spat venomously as she passed him. 

“Pompous up-start.” She called over her shoulder without looking back at the pair of them.

Phasma sighed. “Let her go. We have no need of her input on this matter.”

Once out of anyone’s sight Rey whispered to Ben. “Let me know if you can’t follow.”

“Should be fine. You didn’t have to ditch out on your meeting because of me.” He sounded glad though. 

“Unimportant.” She muttered. The walk back to her quarters was faster than she usually took it because of her eagerness to speak freely with Ben. She leaned back again her door once it was safely closed. She looked Ben up and down and then tilted her head. “You seem different.”

He shifted from foot to foot and rubbed the back of his neck. “I feel different. You helped me get my memories back. I don’t have them all yet, but a lot of them. Most of the wall is gone now.”

“You made fast work of it.” She was impressed. All that progress in a single day was astonishing. 

“Yeah.” Ben grinned sheepishly. He knew he shouldn’t have pushed it so far, but he was thankful to have his memories back. “There was something I wanted to ask you.” His smile faded and was replaced with a serious look. “There was something or someone that used the Dark side that had attacked my mind when I was younger...”

“I assure you, it wasn’t me.” 

“I know... I was wondering if you might have an idea of who else it could be.” He watched her carefully. 

Rey was quiet for a moment. It could have been her master, but if he already had her then he wouldn’t have bothered to try and obtain another apprentice. Despite his decaying state, her master learned his lesson about attempting to have two apprentice at once. It might have worked in the Clone Wars to through the Jedi off his scent, but these were different times. Staying hidden was a more strategic goal and Rey had been enough for him to handle for many years. “Do you know when it started?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. Some time before I was 12.”

“It could have been my master... I can’t be certain without knowing a specific time. He would not have attempted if it was after he acquired me. It was not the Knights of Ren. Not even their former leader was that strong in the Force. Given your bloodline, it could have been anyone that was capable. Unfortunately, I don’t know who else was able to wield the Dark Side to that extent around 15 years ago.” Rey was too young (or possibly not born) and too isolated during the time he is interested in.

Ben sighed and folded his arms. “I figured it was worth asking. It seems my mind is a high traffic area. I want to know who else was in there. And just maybe how to prevent it from happening again.”

“Is Luke teaching you about mental shielding? You have some natural talent if you’re aware that your mind is being invaded. After all, you were able to turn my own trick around on me. But that will not protect against more subtle attacks.” Rey honestly wanted to ask if Luke was teaching him anything at all since it seemed that Ben’s focus has been solely on getting his memories back.

Ben shook his head, his black hair swayed along with the movement. “Not yet.”

“I could show you some exercises that would help.” Her mind went back to the snow covered forest of Starkiller base. She had offered to teach him then as a way to distract him from their battle when she had been sure that she would lose. Now she was offering in earnest. 

Ben consisted her offer for a moment. “Alright.” This sounded like it would be exactly what he needed to learn to feel safer about his mind being only his. 

Rey walked passed him and sat down on the floor in her usual meditation spot. “Sit down.” When he was seated in front of her, she continued. “This is opposite of what you have been doing to the block in your mind. Rather than keeping yourself out of deeper places in your mind, you want to construct a shield around your mind. Like a ship would have.” She walked him through the process of making a shield around his mind that would not cut him off from his Force sense, but would keep out or alert him if someone was trying to get passed it. He made decent progress with the time the Force gave them. “Practice those exercise each night before you sleep. You want to make it a habit.”

Ben nodded. “You feel the connection getting weaker too, don’t you?” It was the first time he had noticed the light pull back to where he should be. 

“I do.” It’s why she had been drawing the lesson to an end. “I think we’re getting more in tuned with this bond.”

“So do I. Thanks for the help.” Ben wanted her to know that he appreciated her assistance with this. He never would have guessed that when he went looking for Luke, to get aid from him, that he would have found Rey. That she would be the one to really guide him through getting his memories back and now she was even showing him what he would need to protect his mind. The girl that tried to rip information out of his head.

“You’re welcome.” She wanted to say it was nothing, but these interactions were far from nothing to her. She couldn’t pretend that she didn’t look forward to seeing Ben now. That she wanted to help him. To make up for what she had done to him. To finally get to do something that was truly of her choosing; for however long this lasted. He disappeared a moment later. It was nice to have some warning that he was going to vanish. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
